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Old 03-20-2009, 05:19 PM   #11
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Re: "done" or "not done"?? LONNGG......

I absolutley KNOW I am done. I knew by the time I was 35-ish. I couldn't have imagined a worse thing to happen.

But, before that, I was kinda done... but not absolutely completely, positively done.

I think until you have that "a pregnancy would be the worst possible scenerio" feeling, he shouldn't have the vasectomy.

HOWEVER, I THINK... not sure.. just think... that he could have the vasectomy, and still have it reversed later.

I understand how HE feels too. He wants to relax and enjoy himself without that possible thought in the back of his head bothering him. He likes the thought of that "freedom". You know it... it's like how you feel when you are already pregnant, and you can't get MORE pregnant, so you just completely enjoy yourself without that tiny voice reminding you that you might get pregnant.

LMAO.. I have a friend who is pregnant now.. he had a vasectomy five years ago.. she had a surgery that should have made it almost impossible to get pregnant... yet, she is.


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Old 03-21-2009, 12:18 AM   #12
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Re: "done" or "not done"?? LONNGG......

We have kids similar ages, though I am a year older, and my DH is 9 years older than you are.

My DH is done. I am unsure. But I respect his wishes. I am happy with our three boys, and I truly do think that having more will stretch me thinner than I am already. I am just now getting a hobby of my own (DS!), and haven't even started working out again (can't while BFing, I burn too many calories), and I want to go to law school some day.

Anyway, we "don't know" we're done. Even he is hesitant. But we have chosen to be done. So, IMO you might know and you might not. Some days we both want more. Most days we are happy just as we are.

IMO, do not do the IUD. Infection is a problem based on your history. Vasectomies are usually reversible, though considered permanent. I know LOTS of guys who got them reversed when younger wife #2 wanted a baby or two. (You guessed it, we're military too :giggle). And I don't know why every guy I know who has done that is mil, but I just don't know a single civ. who has reversed it

Ok, good luck!
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Old 03-21-2009, 02:26 AM   #13
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Re: "done" or "not done"?? LONNGG......

what about DH getting snipped after he gets some sperm put on ice??
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Old 03-21-2009, 07:28 AM   #14
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Re: "done" or "not done"?? LONNGG......

Well I'm single with 3 children and no job and struggling to make ends meet. So yeah, done. But honestly, all my personal situation aside, I really feel done. My family is complete. My 3 are it for me. We JUST barely fit in my car. We just barely fit in our house. We have a rhythm down for our days and outings. I don't want to shake that up and a baby right now would just be a burden. I am turning 28 in 2 weeks and I know that I will feel some sadness when I hit 35 and I feel like I am getting beyond baby years(not that older moms can't have babies but I personally told myself years ago that i wouldn't attempt children beyond 35 so in my mind, that's my cut-off date) but I feel like my time is done. And when I am 35, my girls will be 14, 11, and 8 so adding a baby to that mix just doesn't seem right to me. I'm finished. I'm looking forward to being out of diapers and having them need me less and listening to their boyfriend troubles and taking them on girly dates to get our nails done. I'm down with tantrums and diapers and leaky boobs and wakefulness at night.
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Old 03-21-2009, 07:50 PM   #15
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Re: "done" or "not done"?? LONNGG......

We are also in the same boat- I know I want one more and DH is more on the fence (before he was like NO!) so we are thinking more about it. I really ahve been waiting to feel done- but I am worried I will never have that feeling. I keep telling him I always wanted 6 which is true but what happens when we do have #6 and I am like hmmm one more???? My Gosh he may divorce me!! lol
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Old 03-21-2009, 10:15 PM   #16
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Re: "done" or "not done"?? LONNGG......

My SO had a V last year. I was just getting ove a horrendous case of mastitis and was okay with it. I was afraid I would have regrets but none yet. And we are also just getting into a groove with our newest lo. She has been a horrible sleeper and really hasn't slept consistently well until about a month ago. I can honestly say I would dread starting over with a newborn. I am looking forward to the kids getting older. I also had a cut off of 30yo for having a baby, I'll be 31 this year.
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Old 03-22-2009, 11:28 PM   #17
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Re: "done" or "not done"?? LONNGG......

Thanks for all the wisdom. DS is so awesome. My IRL friends have NO idea what I am feeling right now. It seems everyone has this figured out except for me.

SO, here's the update... We went to visit family this weekend up north and hasted my brother's welcome home party at my folks (he just got back from Iraq two weeks ago). Lots of family and lots of friends, lots of kiddos running aorund and lots of babies needing held and cuddled. I WAS LOVING IT. I totally still ave the newborn ga-ga's and I just dont feel like I could NOT have one more. So, I initiated the conversation one night after guests had left and we were relaxing in the jacuzzi ALONE! Told DH that I was feeling really suneasy with the vasectomy. I really feel like we are too young to make such a permanent decision about our family. I understand that condoms were getting a little old and I dont want him getting bored of the sex because of them... (sorry...TMI ) so, I offered to go on the pill until we decide in a coupke of years where we stand on that. I dont want one NOW anyways so this isnt an issue to me. We can give of the "fun-spoilers" (as DH calls them ) but he still has to be "careful"...

He seems pleased with this setup and hopefully it will work....for a while... EEK! I am pleased with this and am super thankful we had the talk.

Thanks for sharing all your thoughts and experiences.
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