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Old 04-10-2009, 07:33 PM   #11
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Re: AP moms - Do you have a date night?

We do, but not every week. A strong marriage makes for better parents.

Maybe once a month/every other month, my mom will keep DD and we go out. Our first outing was dinner and Target when DD was 2 weeks old on Valentine's Day. I left a pumped bottle, we were gone less than 2 hours, and she never even got put down in all that time. At 26 months, DD has had 3 babysitters besides grandma, all of which were fabulous girls, but it makes for an expensive evening.

Tonight, we closed on our refinanced mortgage and went to Arby's. It was wonderful.

The teen babysitters I found by asking the people I work with who watches their children, and moms I trust in my neighborhood. One student was a college friend of a kid I taught violin to, one was a girl I babysat as a child, and one was an 8th grade who is Safe Sitter certified and came highly recommended from several other teachers at work. I was very pleased with all 3 girls.

That being said, I had all 3 come about a half hour early, and left DD downstairs with them while I went upstairs to "finish getting ready" which really meant standing at the top of the stairs listening to their interactions and making sure I was comfy with the situation.

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Old 04-10-2009, 07:41 PM   #12
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Re: AP moms - Do you have a date night?

Yes, we do, often. It's extremely important and a part of our monthly budget. AP is important, but a healthy marriage is important for a child, too. Honestly, I'd say it's more important.

Our strategy is that whenever we move, we join a church. Generally within a few months, a young lady has stood out from the crowd as someone we'd trust our kids with. Our past two moves, this young girl was not someone that normally babysits for money. At both churches, she was a girl that was incredibly involved with the young kids and just stood out to us as being extremely good with our kids (for instance, it takes guts to approach a parent and tell them that their kid had been grumpy/uncooperative during church. This young lady was always careful to tell us when our youngest had a good/bad day). Churches are great places to find young people who are willing to babysit. We have a "break in" period where I'll pay the young girl to just help out while I'm in the house sort of observing (scrapbooking). This helps us get to know the young girl. I've also paid for them to get red cross training (I needed my infant CPR renewed, so I took the class with her), so that we feel a little safer.

As if that's not enough, we do have a nanny cam. All of this for just a night out? Yep. It's important. *I* would be ok without a date night, but my DH needs date night to feel connected to me. It costs $200 month ($40-50 for sitter per date night, $40-50 for whatever we do, 2x monthly), and worth every penny.
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Old 04-10-2009, 11:08 PM   #13
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Re: AP moms - Do you have a date night?

We rarely get date nights and not so much because we're SO AP but because we haven't lived by family very much and we don't know very many people to leave DD with and now, we're in South Korea and that makes it even harder and on top of that, we're all in a studio apartment so even getting alone time is not easy because Natalie has been difficult to get to sleep because we're all in one room so the only time we're able to do much of anything is in the early, early hours of the morning so yeah, it sucks. I MISS just going out with hubby especially as my daughter has been SO difficult lately, she rarely goes anywhere these days without a major tantrum at some time or another and I just don't get it. She was NEVER this difficult before but the three year old stage has been VERY trying. *sigh*

Someday, I hope...
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Old 04-11-2009, 05:36 AM   #14
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Re: AP moms - Do you have a date night?

We haven't in ages.... which I think needs to change soon with baby #2 on the way.
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Old 04-11-2009, 08:58 AM   #15
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Re: AP moms - Do you have a date night?

With DS1 I didn't leave him until he was 3 years old, and I have a wonderful mom who's always willing to babysit. With DS2 it was probably about a year before I left him (I was more ready for a break by then). My babies don't take bottles so I never really feel comfortable going anywhere without them even if I just nursed and was only going to be gone a minute. When they are young, they don't comprehend everything you are saying so I felt like DH and I could have deep conversations even if the baby was around. I'd put him in the sling and we'd go to the movies. We also enjoyed just walking around the mall, holding hands, talking, and enjoying some coffee or ice cream. We used to order takeout from a nice restaurant and eat by candlelight at home while the baby slept. Sometimes we'd rent a movie and make-out on the couch like teenagers. All of these things get harder to do when you have a toddler, but by then I'm ready to leave them for a few hours with my mom. I can't imagine what I'd do if I didn't have anyone I trusted.
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