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Old 04-20-2009, 08:06 PM   #1
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what do you do with a stray?

There's a little boy (Robert) who rides the bus home with my son in the afternoon so I'm guessing he's a kindergartner since he doesn't go on the morning bus.

Anyway, a couple days ago the doorbell ring and this nice little boy says "is Nicklas here?" So they talk Yu-gi-oh cards for awhile but we were taking the baby to the doctor so we had to leave. When I told the boys that, Robert said, what time can I come back. Well I told him it would be dinner time then homework/baths etc. so he couldn't come back again that evening. The next day right after school the doorbell rings and again it's Robert who joins the fun in the backyard but who is making me very uncomfortable because I'm wondering what parent lets their 5 year old (if he's in K - but he's pretty big so maybe he's older) walk blocks to someone's house that they don't know and don't come over to meet the parents first? I mean, what if we hadn't been home? What if he got hurt while playing in our yard? I asked him if his parents knew where he was and he said yes and I asked what time he was supposed to be home and he said 5:00, 5:30ish. At 5:00 I called my kids in for dinner and told Robert he should go home and he was now playing with a neighbor and he told me as long as he wasn't in my yard I couldn't send him home. Well, I sent him home anyway.

I know I should stop by and at least introduce myself but we were racing to soccer and swimming last night so I didn't. It's just such a different style of parenting that I'm not sure what I should do - but it does make me uncomfortable to have a 'stray' coming around. Any experiences? What did you do?

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Old 04-20-2009, 08:20 PM   #2
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Re: what do you do with a stray?

Wow that would scare me to death too. I would definitely make an effort to go check out his parents. Never know..they might be kooky. Hopefully they are just comfortable with him going out like that and not neglecting him. Just keep a good eye on him and definitely go meet the parents soon then go from there.
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Old 04-20-2009, 10:37 PM   #3
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Re: what do you do with a stray?

Our little miltary community is like this... It's not an odd site to see a 5 year old riding his/her bike alone. Or for a 7 year old to be "watching" his 2 year old brother. It scares me to death! I do not allow any children in our yard without meeting or talking with the parents first. If dd's little friends want to come over, I need to hear from their parents mouth that it is indeed okay. Just a personal preference.

It may be a very good idea to get to know little Roberts parents.

Last edited by rvela; 04-20-2009 at 10:38 PM.
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Old 04-20-2009, 10:49 PM   #4
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Re: what do you do with a stray?

Yes, Id go introduce myself to his parents.
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Old 04-20-2009, 11:17 PM   #5
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Re: what do you do with a stray?

i'd be more concerned that his parents let him over to your house without having come over and introduced themselves and made sure your house was a safe place for their son to play.

i mean this in no offence to you at all but they have no idea what you are like as a parent, you could be a horrible person who doesnt watch the children, or you could be a parent who would abuse. i would never let my son go to anyones house without myself knowing those adults
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Old 04-21-2009, 04:31 AM   #6
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Re: what do you do with a stray?

I have a friend who lives in a community with lots of school age kids running around and some of them do not have very responsible parents. She has a strict rule that if she does not know a kids parents that child can not come into her house. Her kids can play outside with that child but they can't come in until they have their parents contact her so she can meet them. I think this is a great rule of thumb.

ditto to joshuas_mum too, you have to protect yourself from inuendo and misinformation.
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Old 04-21-2009, 04:43 AM   #7
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Re: what do you do with a stray?

Have you asked him for his number? at least try to call the parents and if they know where he is. Maybe his parents both work and he's suppose to be home in the time he's at your house.
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Old 04-21-2009, 08:16 PM   #8
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Re: what do you do with a stray?

Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuas_mum View Post
i'd be more concerned that his parents let him over to your house without having come over and introduced themselves and made sure your house was a safe place for their son to play.

i mean this in no offence to you at all but they have no idea what you are like as a parent, you could be a horrible person who doesnt watch the children, or you could be a parent who would abuse. i would never let my son go to anyones house without myself knowing those adults
That is exactly what I've been most worried about. . . why would a parent - especially of a 5 year old - not want to make sure someone was home taking care of the children and make sure they had at least met the parents? Even if it was just to drop off a phone number just in case? Next time he's over I'll make sure to go and meet his parents if he comes alone. . . and I hate to hold it against the kid, but I won't let my kids go over to his home if the parents are so loosey goosey with their kid, I can only imagine what they'll do with my kid at their home.
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Old 04-21-2009, 10:58 PM   #9
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Re: what do you do with a stray?

That would scare me to death. I think I would have hunted his parents down the second time he came by, to find out if they knew where he was & such.

We live in a relatively small village (6,000 people) and kids run around together, but I have never seen one that young by themselves. 8, maybe. Kindergarten-First grade ages, no.

If I knew the parents weren't "invested" - I'd definitely take in said "stray".
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Old 04-22-2009, 07:23 AM   #10
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Re: what do you do with a stray?

I've come across a few parents like that. It is scary and it's sad. As long as the child is respectful and got along with everyone just fine, then I would let him come over and play. You could introduce yourself to his parents or call them, but chances are they aren't going to care.
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