Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-25-2009, 07:18 PM   #1
sunnymommy
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 1,969
how to get husband on board?

It seems in a lot of the replies I come across other moms who, like me, want to have large families, but their husbands are not so enthusiastic about more than one or two kids. My husband is trying, really! He was done after one, but I really want more by fos/adopt so we took a newborn that we hope to adopt by this summer. He loves her and is a great dad, but if anything, having two has just made him more sure that that's enough! And I'm just getting started! help!

Advertisement

sunnymommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2009, 11:08 PM   #2
3miracles's Avatar
3miracles
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 394
My Mood:
Re: how to get husband on board?

I am sorry, I don't have an answer for you, maybe with time, and as the baby grows up he will want more. Hopefully someone will be of more help.
3miracles is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2009, 07:09 PM   #3
vintagegyrl's Avatar
vintagegyrl
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,319
My Mood:
Re: how to get husband on board?

Time and prayers, mama. Just be patient. God will change his heart if it is in His plan.
__________________
Jen, homeschoolin', Christ-following mama to 5 boys (11, 9, 5, 3) and 1 girl (6)!!
vintagegyrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-2009, 01:52 PM   #4
greek4's Avatar
greek4
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 3,408
My Mood:
Re: how to get husband on board?

We are getting ready to have #2 and my husband only wants two but has said that he isn't closing the door on one more. I don't plan to bring #3 up until the 2 we will have are older, sleeping through the night, not in a bad stage (like our current temper tantrum thrower is right now), and I feel and show that I have a good solid grasp on life with two. Plus a little loving for him more often then usual might help sway him (not that I would ever 'use' sex as a weapon or bargaining tool).
__________________
Emily....Proud wife of Drew, mother to Kole (8/07), Chase (7/09), Ansley (4/11), and Avery and Camden (10/13)
greek4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2009, 02:02 PM   #5
Lisamomof7's Avatar
Lisamomof7
Registered Users
Formerly: Lisamomof6
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sandy, OR
Posts: 569
My Mood:
Re: how to get husband on board?

My DH was "done" after we had our twins. But he always knew how I felt and that I always wanted a lot of children. I was patient, we talked a lot and I prayed a lot. He has always come around and we are expecting #6 in 5 weeks. He does stress about how to afford, have time for all the kids etc, but he loves having a big family.
__________________
Proud wife to love of my life Dan, Lucky Mom to Nolan & Dylan (identical twins 5/97), Gavin (9/00), Aiden (8/02), Morgan (4/07), Hudson (7/09) & Arwen (8/11), rainbow baby due in April
Happy to be a ing, Babywearing, BFing, wanna be green mama!
ebay store: http://stores.ebay.com/Double-Trouble-Deals
I love essential oils & sell them too! http://mydoterra.com/thesweetlife
Lisamomof7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2009, 03:15 PM   #6
Mamatoabunch's Avatar
Mamatoabunch
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,535
My Mood:
Re: how to get husband on board?

We never spoke of how many children prior to marriage. We did use birth control. When I was expecting our third dh said we might have six to his mom. I think we both knew we wanted a larger family, although never spoke clearly of those feelings. As time passed, we have been married 17 years, I became open to not using any form of birth control, at this point we no longer used anything artificial, and used NFP. I prayed for my dh to be on the same page as I. Funny is now he is even more so than I, as my fertility returned quickly after our 9th. He was trusting of how ever God blessed us and He did when our wee one was 3 months, LOL. So my suggestion is prayer, prayer.
__________________
Annabelle Mom to Makaley 19, Arden 19, Anniston 18, Taegan 15,Balen 13,Kellen 11, Ellery 9,Innish 7,Eiley 5, Finnian 4, and Esca 2, and Isolde 1/16/2014, 10th hbac, 9th uc.
Mamatoabunch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2009, 05:35 AM   #7
BlsdMama's Avatar
BlsdMama
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,131
My Mood:
Re: how to get husband on board?

Quote:
Originally Posted by vintagegyrl View Post
Time and prayers, mama. Just be patient. God will change his heart if it is in His plan.
That's it, that's all there is to it.

And you know, sometimes we have a tendency to push things to far that drives them even further to the other extreme, kwim? I think they really need to feel expected, like their feelings and opinions weigh in for just as much as ours and so often we can run right over top of them....

My dh announced he was done when we had our first, our girl. He listened to my appeal and granted number two, a boy. Then he was sure we were done.

I think a couple things changed - first our third child died. And I think that made us both pause. Second, I think I became more agreeable to stopping if he was really serious.

At this point we are expecting our ninth. But he also knows that if he said, "This is it. There are no more babies." Then that would be it, and there would be no more babies. I love him and respect him......
__________________
~Kelly~
Blessed Mama to Ana(16), Christian(13), Hannah (^i^ 2/14/01-2/26/01), Elizabeth(10), Rebecca(8), Timothy(7), Abigail(5), Sarah(4), Ella(2), & Olivia (1)
BlsdMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2009, 01:24 PM   #8
sunnymommy
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 1,969
Re: how to get husband on board?

Thanks for the encouragement mamas! It helps to hear where some of you have been and where you are now. I know it takes all those things - patience, prayer, open listening and respect. Sometimes it's just difficult to remember! But, I am working on being content where we are and waiting patiently to see what God has in store for us next.

And I have realized that we definitely are not ready for any more right now as our fos-adopt 9 month old is still very high maintenance and we are both stressed out most of the time! So I am learning to be the best mama I can to the two I have now so that I can be a better mama for any more in the future. And I think as I have calmed down and quit "pushing" and acknowledged that we aren't ready right now, he is more willing to consider that we might be ready again in the future! Isn't funny how that always works? The more you try to push in one direction the more the other person feels that I have shove their feet in and pull the other way.

At the moment though, we have had some very frustrating episodes in our dealings with the state foster care system and I think we are both in agreement that once we get our dd2's adoption finalized here in a month or two that we may both just need a break from the system. No dealing with social workers or monthly visits or lack of communication. Just being able to parent and make whatever decision we feel is best for our children without asking permission. That sounds heavenly right now! So perhaps after a time of learning to be a good family with two daughters all on our own than we will be prepared to work with the system again in hopes of being blessed more!
sunnymommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2009, 01:27 PM   #9
AshleyLD's Avatar
AshleyLD
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: South CA
Posts: 13,856
My Mood:
Re: how to get husband on board?

When you figure it out.. let me know! I want to have another.. That would put us at 4 (or 5) But he definatly doesnt want too.. I just dont feel done..
__________________
*~Ashley~* SAHmama to 3 + 1
Check out the amazing Waldorf items at The Waldorf Dollhouse!
AshleyLD is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.