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Old 02-24-2007, 11:15 AM   #1
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Do you ever wonder "what have I done?"

I'm sad to say it, but sometimes I think to myself, "What was I thinking, having a kid?". 99.9% of the time our little dude is amazing: cheerful, giggly, full of smiles and fun. But then that other .1% of the time when he's up every hour of the night (like last night), crying inconsolably when there's NOTHING wrong, I feel like I'm going to either throw him in his crib and run away or lose my mind. That's when I think, "why was this ever a good idea?"

I've had PPD and gotten through it, but it's times like that where I feel the same crazy/unstable feelings creeping in.

Anyone else feel this way?

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Old 02-24-2007, 11:20 AM   #2
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Re: Do you ever wonder "what have I done?"

Yeah sometimes I feel like im losing my mind ..... but then I just take a deep breath and try to have postive thoughts and reinforce all the good stuff
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Old 02-24-2007, 12:03 PM   #3
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Re: Do you ever wonder "what have I done?"

How old is your baby? I definately have had my moments of dispair - trust me! I've found now that Lily is almost one, I don't really have them anymore. She's much more stable and easy to predict, and she is happier on a whole.
Hope things look up for you
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Old 02-24-2007, 12:10 PM   #4
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Re: Do you ever wonder "what have I done?"

He's 8.5 months...
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Old 02-24-2007, 12:14 PM   #5
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Re: Do you ever wonder "what have I done?"

You betcha mama!! I've been there! I was there this morning actually!

Sometimes, all I can do it just set him down some place safe and walk away for a few minutes, it really can be the best thing for both of you when you're at that breaking point.

My son is getting his jollies right now by slamming his head into the floor when he doesn't get his way. I feel really bad for him, but he's doing it for attention and to get his way so I have no idea how to respond when he does it. He hurts himself and he cries terribly (sp?), but I don't know what to do. Its SO frustrating to me and I just have to walk away for a minute.

My son is 19 months and it seems like they go through stages of being easy and being hard again, at least IME! Riley's being hard now because he's getting into that toddler mind-set, he was easy a few months ago and difficult before that, so I guess it just comes and goes.

Mama, I hope that it gets easier soon!! We've all been there.
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Old 02-24-2007, 12:26 PM   #6
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Re: Do you ever wonder "what have I done?"

I've been there a lot. I really have to talk myself down...I mean, I'm not voilent and I don't have to talk myself out of hurting him, I just have to talk myself down from such a high point of anxiety. Even while they're screaming or whatever, I just close my eyes and repeat things in my head, "He's just doing this because he doesn't have words", "Just remember that he's not feeling well", "There's got to be a reason, I just don't understand it.", "He doesn't really hate me"..ya know, whatever fits the situation...I just have to close my eyes and calmly repeat it to myself.
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Old 02-24-2007, 12:37 PM   #7
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Re: Do you ever wonder "what have I done?"

I get that way sometimes!!! We all do .. maybe you should get out the house.. for a few hours.. when dh is home with the baby .. I have 3 kiddos.. and they are enough to make you nuts..LOL
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Old 02-24-2007, 12:51 PM   #8
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Re: Do you ever wonder "what have I done?"

Yep. I found that sitting on the floor with her in my lap blowing in her face and telling her to calm down and take deap breaths helps BOTH of us calm down when she is crying and just plain fussy. She is almost 17 months and has tantrums(yes, this early on). Later on i plan on using the visualizing a colored balloon and blowing it up method for the both of us.
i totally understand how you feel. But isn't it great when your child does something funny that totally cracks you both up and you think "This is awesome. I am so glad he/she/they are here.". Makes it all worth it.
Visualizing(sp?) things that you could do that you wouldn't be proud of is normal. I sometimes visualize screaming at the top of my lungs at dd when she is being really fussy and i can't stop her crying.
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Old 02-24-2007, 01:07 PM   #9
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Re: Do you ever wonder "what have I done?"

Oh yeah I've totally been there! I sometimes feel like I shouldn't have another cause I can't handle 1.
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Old 02-24-2007, 01:15 PM   #10
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Re: Do you ever wonder "what have I done?"

Yep, I think most of us have been there at least once. It's hard, but it's NORMAL to react that way to incredible stress, sleep deprivation, etc. You just have to make sure you have enough stamina to get through it without shaking the babe or running away; and then the feelings will go away.

Yoga, hot baths, journalling, running, sitting at an enclosed play area and zoning out while DC plays...every mom needs something to recharge her own batteries. Sleep, exercise, and good nutrition are critical. Try buying yourself a party tray of veggies and another of fruit. Take DC to the gym with you and let 'em play in the nursery while you "run" away on a treadmill. Or get a jogging stroller. Sleep whenever DC sleeps! (Who cares if the floor is carpeted with Cheerios? )

Take care of yourself---It makes a big difference!
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