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Old 03-11-2007, 11:15 AM   #11
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

Get a cheapie air matress from Walmart and put it beside the couch, leave a baby monitor in the living room with her and go take your bath mama. And if you think it is a control thing, try giving her more choices so she feels she has some control without screaming like let her pick out her clothes or choose between a couple options of what to eat, etc. . . It can't hurt.

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Old 03-11-2007, 11:54 AM   #12
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

Mama,

How different is it from the living room to the bedroom(s) - could she be afraid of the dark? My DD is almost 4 and has been terrified of the dark her whole life - if it's lighter where the couch is and really dark and quiet in the bedrooms, maybe that's what the problem is?

GL!
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Old 03-11-2007, 12:09 PM   #13
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

I feel for you, mama.
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Old 03-11-2007, 12:22 PM   #14
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

My 18mo old is like this..he always has been though. I've had to stop "giving in" to him so much and as long as I know all of his needs are met..if I need to run and do something (which angers him if I don't pick him up)..then I do it..and I let him have his tantrum and come to me calmly when he's done. If I don't need to go do something, but he's throwing a tantrum..then I'll go sit down somewhere or whatever and he knows that he can come to me when he's finished. I'm not saying that's right for everyone or everyone's 18mo old...but it's right for us.
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Old 03-12-2007, 09:15 AM   #15
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

deployments are hard on everyone in general but at this point it just sounds like she's testing you and what she can get away with and she can feel your stress...
pick one bed.... my choice would be her bed and (not everyone will agree with this) but be consistent and put her in there... she naps there and she sleeps there... an hour of crying is alot IMO... and I use "cio" but i think she's going that long cuz she knows that persistence pays off...
if she gets too worked up or can't settle down a clams forte for kids from hylands might help...
are you talking about dh alot? looking through pictures? watching videos? having her look through pictures, sleep with a shirt of his... I usually look through pictures with avril (our last deployment she was your dd's age, and she will be almost three this next one...) talk to her about fun things we've done with daddy... pray for him with her,
I am sorry i KNOW it is hard... just be consistent.
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Old 03-12-2007, 09:47 AM   #16
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

Last night I tried putting her straight to sleep in her bed, well first we tried all laying down in my room and watching a movie but she kept kicking and hitting her brother because he wasn't paying attention to her and that is what she wanted, so in order for him to get some sleep I moved her and I downstairs, put her to sleep and then put her in her bed. She STAYED ASLEEP and slept there until a little after 2 maybe? I can't remember because she woke up with a vengenance and didn't go back to sleep until 6:30!!!! She was happy and walking around for some of it, some of it screaming and crying. Finally I got so tired (and my son was in bed with us also at this point) I put a movie on for myself and she came and crawled up on the bed and we cuddled until she fell asleep. DH called at 7:30 this morning and I actually told him I couldn't talk because I was too tired...he is going to try and call back but I just knew I needed my sleep too much at that point. Both the kids were asleep and it would be only a short while until they woke up and sure enough, they were both awake by 9. She is VERY tired and clingy today!!

We talk about DH a bit, we look at pics on the computer and we have watched home movies, but not often. I always thought the constant reminder of him would make the tour harder! I will try bringing him up more...my son writes him letters every night and emails and such, but I never thought about giving Kyla an outlet...I will try it!
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Old 03-12-2007, 09:51 AM   #17
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

I just so feel for you ... you CAN do this and it WILL be ok...
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Old 03-12-2007, 09:55 AM   #18
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

If she would sleep, we would have a much easier tour...I could deal with daily temper tantrums if I had a full nights sleep!!! *sigh* We are having friends over today so maybe that will tire her out....I hope so!!!
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Old 03-12-2007, 11:52 AM   #19
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

Quote:
Originally Posted by riandkymommy View Post
My daughter is 18 months and has always been high maintenance. Its not really an issue, we cuddle, I wear her, she co-sleeps so things were working out ok! My hubby left a month ago to go to Afghanistan and at first things were fine, she is used to him being gone because, well, he is gone alot! This last week and a half or so, I have been losing my mind. She goes to sleep just fine and I leave her on the couch while I clean around the house and finish whatever I want to do downstairs, then I pick her up and we move upstairs, that is when the drama starts. She will literally scream for 45 mins to an hour from the minute I try and lie her down on ANY bed, I have tried her bed, our bed, our spare room, a playpen, her brother's bed, ALL the beds we have in the house. I even tried laying down WITH her, so she never actually LEAVES my arms, but that doesn't work either....then I hold her and rock her and cuddle her as much as she will let me until she passes out. Then she is up screaming between 3 and 4 times a night, sometimes more. I am exhausted. She also screams like this during the day for absolutely NO reason, she will be playing fine, and then she will start screaming and I will pick her up and she will want to be down and then as soon as she gets down she is lifting her hands up to be held again, she just screams and screams and then will calm down just as easily and be fine...I don't know how I am going to do this for the 6 months my husband is gone! It has only been one month and I am going insane already. I was crying with her this morning because I don't know what to do. I don't know what I am going to do in May when I have her and a new baby. I need to sleep, but I am so tired that half the time I lay awake because I am TOO tired to sleep. I have to force myself to eat because I am so tired and stressed, which is not good for my pregnancy, I know. I just don't know what to do. I have tried what seems like everything EXCEPT sleeping in the living room so I never have to move her, which is my plan for tonight....my poor son is getting ignored because my daughter is so needy!!! And I want a bath

We are going to my mom's house for 3 weeks in 25 days and then 2 weeks after that she is coming up to stay until after baby is born, but then she is going back home...I am so scared I am going to fail all of my children, my husband and myself by not doing this well....I keep getting told that people don't know how I handle her and I don't know either because I don't even know if I am helping her or how to help us BOTH?

I am rambling...sorry....
I was dealing with some similar issues with my 27mo old DD recently. THrough research and trial and error i figured out it was her diet. Specifically artificial colors and preservatives. We have eliminated 95% of that stuff and her behavior has done a complete turn around. It could also be two year molars, your DH being gone...a whole host of things, but I would highly reccomend looking into what she eats and going from there.

Hang in there!
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