What should I do?

[Katherine]

As a teacher, I can say that if I called a parent every time a kid fooled around in class (not saying yours was), I'd have half-full classes and be on the phone 2/3 of the day. "Playing" with a tree is not, in my opinion, a "sending home from school" worthy-offense. Kids usually aren't sent home from school unless they pose an immediate danger to themselves or others - otherwise, schools would be depriving students of their right to an education.

Most likely, it was a momentary thing - kid playing around, possibly distracted from class/distracting others, and the teacher fixes the problem by taking the distracting element out of the equation. Fast forward to the end of the day, a million things have happened in between, and the teacher didn't remember to give the tree back/notify you/follow up. Even if he wasn't really doing anything he perceived as "bad" or distracting, it's amazing what kids don't think about/understand about the school environment. Maybe he was unintentionally distracting others. Maybe he was absent-mindedly playing with it and the teacher thought he was distracted. I'd just send an email saying, Hey, we were really looking forward to planting the tree - can you explain what ds did to get it taken away and what he can do to earn it back? Seriously, this happened friday? And this is sunday? Please, wait until you hear what happened and give the teacher a chance to resolve the issue before getting "pissed".

Oh, yeah, and if you do call up monday morning early and she's not there before school - she might have morning bus duty or something, or just be human and getting a little bit of a late start before school. Plus, she might not have a phone in her room and the office of most schools is crazy in the morning, so it might not be possible to get in touch with her. If all my kids' parents expected me to be there an hour or 45 minutes early, I'd look really bad - my sitter's doesn't open until 1/2 hr before school starts.

I'm not saying that the teacher was right, no matter what, I'm just saying that there always seems to be more to the story than any one kid ever tells, and a teacher has to manage a classroom for the benefit of ALL the kids, and sometimes stuff happens. Approach her diplomatically and fairly, and I'm sure she'll respond in kind.

[iris0110]

Most likely, it was a momentary thing - kid playing around, possibly distracted from class/distracting others, and the teacher fixes the problem by taking the distracting element out of the equation. Fast forward to the end of the day, a million things have happened in between, and the teacher didn't remember to give the tree back/notify you/follow up. Even if he wasn't really doing anything he perceived as "bad" or distracting, it's amazing what kids don't think about/understand about the school environment. Maybe he was unintentionally distracting others. Maybe he was absent-mindedly playing with it and the teacher thought he was distracted. I'd just send an email saying, Hey, we were really looking forward to planting the tree - can you explain what ds did to get it taken away and what he can do to earn it back? Seriously, this happened friday? And this is sunday? Please, wait until you hear what happened and give the teacher a chance to resolve the issue before getting "pissed".

And this is why my kids will never go to a public school. I am sure you are a wondeful teacher, and that there are many wondeful teachers out there, but if children are being made to feel that they are bad for doing normal child things then something is wrong. He shouldn't have to earn it back, his parents and the rest of the tax payers paid for it. It was given to everyone, they didn't do anything to earn it in the first place. Next thing you know he will be getting penalized in some way for not planting it.

[2under2]

too much goes on in a classroom!! i would guess she probably just forgot to give it back, and to call monday afternoon or morning and just ask her what is up with the tree situation, and see what she says then if she says he cant have it back, then go to a higher up.

[Katherine]

Originally Posted by iris0110 And this is why my kids will never go to a public school. I am sure you are a wondeful teacher, and that there are many wondeful teachers out there, but if children are being made to feel that they are bad for doing normal child things then something is wrong. He shouldn't have to earn it back, his parents and the rest of the tax payers paid for it. It was given to everyone, they didn't do anything to earn it in the first place. Next thing you know he will be getting penalized in some way for not planting it.

Wow - we do have different opinions. As a teacher, if something is causing a distraction or disruption, I have no choice but to remove it or do my best to minimize it in the room. Teachers have to make minute-by-minute decisions to promote the best environment for every kid. I can call the kid up and make a "teachable moment" of it later, but sometimes there isn't time to do that for each little thing that happens in the course of a day. We don't know how many times the teacher tried to right the situation before she took the tree away. And yes, it does sadden me that teachers can't take all the time necessary to deal with all those little things, because, in a perfect world, they should. I think, ideally, classes shouldn't be any bigger than 12 or so. I'm glad you will be able to homeschool and I hope it works out for you - I think small groups and one-on-one instruction is best for kids.

I was just saying - give the teacher a chance to put forth her viewpoint and don't go at her all mad and hot. And FWIW, we don't know all the specifics of the situation, who was doing what, and who even paid for the tree. For all we know, the trees were donated to the school. I'm also saying - kids don't always tell the whole story when they talk about why they got into trouble at school. I know I didn't.

[kissy]

Originally Posted by Katherine Wow - we do have different opinions. As a teacher, if something is causing a distraction or disruption, I have no choice but to remove it or do my best to minimize it in the room. Teachers have to make minute-by-minute decisions to promote the best environment for every kid. I can call the kid up and make a "teachable moment" of it later, but sometimes there isn't time to do that for each little thing that happens in the course of a day. We don't know how many times the teacher tried to right the situation before she took the tree away. And yes, it does sadden me that teachers can't take all the time necessary to deal with all those little things, because, in a perfect world, they should. I think, ideally, classes shouldn't be any bigger than 12 or so. I'm glad you will be able to homeschool and I hope it works out for you - I think small groups and one-on-one instruction is best for kids. I was just saying - give the teacher a chance to put forth her viewpoint and don't go at her all mad and hot. And FWIW, we don't know all the specifics of the situation, who was doing what, and who even paid for the tree. For all we know, the trees were donated to the school. I'm also saying - kids don't always tell the whole story when they talk about why they got into trouble at school. I know I didn't.

I agree I am very angry but I will not go in there and act like a child to a teacher..I don't think that is appropriate and feel that I can control my feelings and I know my son was probably playing with it. He of course is not saying he did. At the same time she gave them their tree at the end of the day during the time they are about to leave. If she had to take it that is fine. She is well aware that I am a SAHM and she has a phone in her class. I felt like a short I don't have time to get into it but if you want your son to participate in the county wide plant a tree program you need to come pick up his tree in the office he was horseplaying. He is the only kid it was taken from. But you are right in public school there is no time anymore to dilly dally on things. I just hope she has it and we can participate, we are still new to the community.

[iris0110]

Actually we do know who paid for the trees

I am pissed..my tax dollars pay for school stuff the tree was given to all 3 rd graders in the county by the school board.

So the kids didn't just earn this as a special privledge, it was given to all kids, and it benefits the schools to have it planted.

There was a paper in his bookbag saying there would be a tree sent home and to fill out the paper when the tree was planted for the school to recieve credit.

I understand that teachers have to keep a class under control and moving to get things done. But I think that is the fundemental problem with public schooling. 30 kids, 1 teacher and a curriculum and tests that mean no one gets optimal education. And children are doing normal kid things and that causes a distraction, I understand, but they are kids. That has been the problem with the idea of public school since it started. It gets worse every single year.

[zonapellucida]

I would march myself in there and DEMAND a tree HOW dare she. OHHHHHHHH I hate public school

[Katherine]

Kissy - I never said to go act like a child to the teacher - I simply gave another perspective and suggested a non-controntational way to figure out what had happened and how it could be resolved. Certainly, don't approach it in a servile position. I think it's great you're so involved in your kids education that you're so aware and into the tree thing - I bet a lot of parents wouldn't have noticed or cared. I hope you get to plant your tree.

And I didn't see that it was the OP who'd said it was the school board who gave the trees to the kids, sorry, my bad.

And Iris0110, I actually completely agree with you on the 1 curriculum + 1 teacher + 30 kids = a crappy education. That's why I try to work one on one and make my lessons as individualized as possible. Classroom management is where I have a more standardized view. I follow the smallest intervention necessary school of thought - fix a problematic situation w/ as little fuss as possible in the moment, then attend to individual, in-depth issues when an appropriate time occurs, so as few other students are distracted as possible.