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Old 12-12-2009, 07:11 AM   #21
Terra
Drinks her not-just-a-smoothie pina coladas in ALL CAPS in front of her preschoolers before she takes her CDs and goes home.
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Re: Am I failing by not having a schedual??

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I sort of agree with everyone....ha ha! While I am normally a super scheduled person, having children helped me learn to become more flexible. I am more of a routined person now and it seems to be a great fit for my daughters. We do have nap times, meal times, etc. BUT I also take into account that there will be days they are more tired, less tired, more hungry, less hungry, etc. Every day cannot be exactly the same but I feel that children find security in knowing what to expect. I do watch their cues and feel that I know my daughters better than anyone else and know what is best for them even when sometimes they protest or disagree. For me, parenting is all about balance. Some kids ARE better at just going with the flow, napping everywhere and at any times, etc. while some are just begging to go home and have their blankie and quiet time. It is your job as a parent to decide what is best and healthiest within the realms of what your child is mature enough and capable enough to do. You can have a regular sleep schedule without letting them scream. I did do CIO with my oldest and I to this day feel that I made the right choice. However, this was after her days were in a regular routine, she was healthy and would sleep on her own in her own crib. CIO for me was more about teaching her that bedtime was not optional. It took three nights with the last night being less than 15 minutes of crying/fussing before she went to sleep and that was the end of night time battles. She is now two and we have never had any major issues since then. Now my younger one is much more sensitive than the older and I don't feel this approach would be best for her. The older was incredibly stubborn and still is. Okay so I am rambling now but hopefully you will receive some ideas and support from this thread. I think overall it would be helpful to you to have a plan in place that you feel best fits your family so at least you are not lost when these challenges come. DS is a great place as a sounding board but I encourage you to not let any one particular post make you feel that you have to do something one particular way.
I agree with the bolded/underlined! It's like our own selves. We vary from day to day too. And goodness yes, I have learned to become quite flexible! After my 2 son's natural schedule/routine emerged, I found that they do much better when I stick to it for them!

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Old 12-12-2009, 09:02 AM   #22
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Re: Am I failing by not having a schedual??

you know Terra, we agree on a lot of things......will you marry me?
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Old 12-12-2009, 09:14 AM   #23
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Re: Am I failing by not having a schedual??

Thanks ladies; I really appreciate all the things that you've offered. I really am of the mindset that he will try his best to let me know if he needs something; which is why I can't let him CIO. We cosleep most of the time, & I know his crying is because he needs me to feel comforted. While sometimes that *can* be a little bothersome (Ie when I want time for myself or w/hubby!) I still go snuggle him. I don't want to tell him that mommy is off limits, though I'd love for him to develop better night time habits. If he would have only cried the 10 minutes though, I could have dealt with that. But he was going to go for longer than that, and it just wasn't right for me us. Hopefully at the end of January we'll get into a better routine, & work on getting everything to fall into place better.
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Old 12-12-2009, 10:27 AM   #24
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Re: Am I failing by not having a schedual??

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you know Terra, we agree on a lot of things......will you marry me?
We may have to become the sect of Mormons [?] who believe in multiple wives!!
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Old 12-12-2009, 10:27 AM   #25
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Re: Am I failing by not having a schedual??

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Thanks ladies; I really appreciate all the things that you've offered. I really am of the mindset that he will try his best to let me know if he needs something; which is why I can't let him CIO. We cosleep most of the time, & I know his crying is because he needs me to feel comforted. While sometimes that *can* be a little bothersome (Ie when I want time for myself or w/hubby!) I still go snuggle him. I don't want to tell him that mommy is off limits, though I'd love for him to develop better night time habits. If he would have only cried the 10 minutes though, I could have dealt with that. But he was going to go for longer than that, and it just wasn't right for me us. Hopefully at the end of January we'll get into a better routine, & work on getting everything to fall into place better.
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Old 12-12-2009, 08:21 PM   #26
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Re: Am I failing by not having a schedual??

good luck mama. i'm going to wait a few more weeks with my DS too.
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Old 12-13-2009, 01:48 PM   #27
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Re: Am I failing by not having a schedual??

I am not a very schedule/routine person myself but our little guy is not a good sleeper so we had to do something. We found that just giving him a set of things to expect before going to sleep at night has helped more than anything. Every night (time varies) he eats solid food (he's a big eater), then it's time for a bath with daddy, next he nurses (if he wants to) and then daddy walks him around the house. Like magic he goes to sleep within 5-10 minutes with little to no whining or crying. He's 9 months old and we used to be up half the night because he couldn't wind down. He would fight through the sleepiness and want to play until midnight or later. We set a bedtime goal of 10 pm but most nights he is ready for sleep between 7:30 and 8:30...thanks to the routine. We have trained his body to expect to go to sleep once the other things are complete. If he cries alot when his daddy walks him we simply bring him upstairs and read books until he seem sleepy. We never force bedtime, why make bedtime a sad, stressful, crying time?? We just give him cues and he does the rest. He still nurses on demand through the night (every 3-4 hours) but generally goes right back to sleep. It has made a big difference for everyone in our house!! Good Luck!!
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Old 12-13-2009, 04:05 PM   #28
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Re: Am I failing by not having a schedual??

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I am not a very schedule/routine person myself but our little guy is not a good sleeper so we had to do something. We found that just giving him a set of things to expect before going to sleep at night has helped more than anything. Every night (time varies) he eats solid food (he's a big eater), then it's time for a bath with daddy, next he nurses (if he wants to) and then daddy walks him around the house. Like magic he goes to sleep within 5-10 minutes with little to no whining or crying. He's 9 months old and we used to be up half the night because he couldn't wind down. He would fight through the sleepiness and want to play until midnight or later. We set a bedtime goal of 10 pm but most nights he is ready for sleep between 7:30 and 8:30...thanks to the routine. We have trained his body to expect to go to sleep once the other things are complete. If he cries alot when his daddy walks him we simply bring him upstairs and read books until he seem sleepy. We never force bedtime, why make bedtime a sad, stressful, crying time?? We just give him cues and he does the rest. He still nurses on demand through the night (every 3-4 hours) but generally goes right back to sleep. It has made a big difference for everyone in our house!! Good Luck!!

Thanks! Your lil man sounds like my DS. We were up until 1am last night. >_< He slept 6-8, & then was litterally wired even though he was exahusted. I usually do everything around bedtime. We eat, I give him bath, change his diaper, read to him, then nurse him down. (Will be changing that to daddy putting him down) Because as soon as I get out of bed, he wakes; or wakes half an hour later or so. & then he's wide awake and ready to play like it's a nap, and nothing soothes him back down. Then I do whatever to help him burn more energy, which usually isn't condusive to rest time, (excersaucer, floor time, ect) uugh.
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