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Old 12-12-2009, 06:29 PM   #31
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Re: Do any of you co-sleeping mamas have babies that sleep through the night?

Originally Posted by sdevonh View Post
Even though we co-sleep, ITA. I really think that it depends on the personality of the child. DS does not sleep any "better" than his sister who always slept in her crib.
I would say not to be concerned about the STTN as much as finding a situation that works best for all the parties involved. Just my ! Good luck, mama!
I totally agree-- actually DD1 slept in her crib from day 1, and STTN at 7 weeks. DD2 slept right by my bed, then in her crib at 4 months, and also STTN at 7 weeks. So far baby T is more "average" acording to the sleep books. He's doing 5 hours at almost 11 weeks... but I don't think the sleeping arrangements have anything to do with it. I'm not against crib-sleeping, but for now he seems too tiny to be that far away from me. Apparently I get a little more clingy with each kid.


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Old 12-12-2009, 06:33 PM   #32
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Re: Do any of you co-sleeping mamas have babies that sleep through the night?

I also had to stop BF at one month. By about 6 months, I think he was only waking up once. I don't remember when he slept through the whole night. But it did happen.
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Old 12-13-2009, 12:27 PM   #33
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Re: Do any of you co-sleeping mamas have babies that sleep through the night?

I have a 23month old who doesn't nurse at night(she's still nursing but she's nightweaned) and will sleep through the night. But this is a recent phenomenon.
My older two didn't sleep through the night until they moved out into their own beds at ages 3 1/2 and 3 respectively. And to be honest, there are a good number of nights that the middle child comes into bed with me and she'll be 5 next month so. . . . . . . .

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Old 12-13-2009, 01:12 PM   #34
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Re: Do any of you co-sleeping mamas have babies that sleep through the night?

Originally Posted by Michelle_M View Post
So, I just wanted to support those mams who choose not to co-sleep. Dr.Sears said it best:

"The best place for your child to sleep, is where the whole family gets the most sleep."
Thank-you! This is what I wanted to say... I certainly wouldn't call myself 'non-AP' but co-sleeping just wasn't for us. Nonetheless we still had baby in our room until almost 1 yo and that worked for us up til a certain age. If she sleeps through the night better, we all are less cranky, tired and our immune systems function better meaning we are more healthy, less run down, and basically able to be better parents to a child who is overall in a better mood. I have always been a fan of 'doing what works' vs following a specific book or parenting style. If my next kiddo sleeps better in bed with us, then we will do that... you just have to do what works for your situation and your kids, and what you feel is right. I just love Dr Sears- he is such a voice of reason!
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Old 12-13-2009, 02:30 PM   #35
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Re: Do any of you co-sleeping mamas have babies that sleep through the night?

My ds was bf and cosleeps still...we recently stopped nursing last month due to loss of milk with this pregnancy. Since there is no milk for him to wake up for, he now sleeps through the night at 29 months of age. Before this, he was up every 3-4 hours to nurse. It's normal.

Here's a great article for those of you who cosleep and bf, and might be feeling frustrated with the night waking:

Sleeping through the Night
by Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D.

Department of Anthropology,
Texas A & M University

[This essay was originally directed to one person. It has been edited slightly to make it less specific.]

I am an Adjunct (semi-retired) Associate Professor of Anthropology and Nutrition at Texas A&M University, and I do research on infant/child feeding beliefs/practices both cross-culturally and from an evolutionary perspective, as well as research on children's health and growth. I know from first-hand experience that being a new parent is a difficult time of adjustment, especially when expectations don't match reality, especially when our culture has taught us that children should have certain needs/wants/behaviors and then our children don't seem to fit that mold. This problem of a mismatch between expectations and reality can be very difficult for new parents to accept and adjust to. Sometimes, some children can be encouraged/convinced/forced to fit the mold of cultural expectations, and they do fine. Othertimes, though they do eventually fit the mold, it is at the expense of their sense of who they are, their self-confidence, their view of the world as a safe and trusting place, sometimes, even, at the expense of their health or life. Probably nowhere do cultural expectations and the reality of children's needs conflict more than in the two areas of breastfeeding frequency and sleeping behaviors.

Human children are designed (whether you believe by millions of years of evolution, or by God, it doesn't matter) -- to nurse *very* frequently, based on the composition of the milk of the species, the fact that all higher primates (Primates are the zoological Order to which humans belong, higher primates include monkeys and apes) keep their offspring in the mother's arms or on her back for several years, the size of the young child's stomach, the rapidity with which breast milk is digested, the need for an almost constant source of nutrients to grow that huge brain (in humans, especially), and so on. By very frequently, I mean 3-4 times per hour, for a few minutes each time. The way in which some young infants are fed in our culture -- trying to get them to shift to a 3-4 hour schedule, with feedings of 15-20 minutes at a time, goes against our basic physiology. But humans are very adaptable, and some mothers will be able to make sufficient milk with this very infrequent stimulation and draining of the breasts, and some children will be able to adapt to large meals spaced far apart. Unfortunately, some mothers don't make enough milk with this little nursing, and some babies can't adjust, and so are fussy, cry a lot, seem to want to nurse "before it is time" and fail to grow and thrive. Of course, usually the mother's body is blamed -- "You can't make enough milk" -- rather than the culturally-imposed expectation that feeding every 3-4 hours should be sufficient, and the mother begins supplementing with formula, which leads to a steady spiral downward to complete weaning from the breast. Human children are also designed to have breast milk be a part of their diet for a minimum of 2.5 years, with many indicators pointing to 6-7 years as the true physiological duration of breastfeeding -- regardless of what your cultural beliefs may be. I can provide you with references to my research on this topic if you wish to read more.

The same is true of sleeping. Human children are designed to be sleeping with their parents. The sense of touch is the most important sense to primates, along with sight. Young primates are carried on their mother's body and sleep with her for years after birth, often until well after weaning. The expected pattern is for mother and child to sleep together, and for child to be able to nurse whenever they want during the night. Normal, healthy, breastfed and co-sleeping children do not sleep "through the night" (say 7-9 hours at a stretch) until they are 3-4 years old, and no longer need night nursing. I repeat -- this is NORMAL and HEALTHY. Dr. James McKenna's research on co-sleeping clearly shows the dangers of solitary sleeping in young infants, who slip into abnormal patterns of very deep sleep from which it is very difficult for them to rouse themselves when they experience an episode of apnea (stop breathing). When co-sleeping, the mother is monitoring the baby's sleep and breathing patterns, even though she herself is asleep. When the baby has an episode of apnea, she rouses the baby by her movements and touch. This is thought to be the primary mechanism by which co-sleeping protects children from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. In other words, many cases of SIDS in solitary sleeping children are thought to be due to them having learned to sleep for long stretches at a time at a very early age, so they find themselves in these deep troughs of sleep, then they may experience an episode of apnea, and no one is there to notice or rouse them from it, so they just never start breathing again. Co-sleeping also allows a mother to monitor the baby's temperature during the night, to be there if they spit up and start to choke, and just to provide the normal, safe environment that the baby/child has been designed to expect.

Is this convenient for parents? No!

Is this difficult for some new parents to adjust to? Yes!

No doubt about it, the gap between what our culture teaches us to expect of the sleep patterns of a young child (read them a story, tuck them in, turn out the light, and not see them again for 8 hours) and the reality of how children actually sleep if healthy and normal, yawns widely.

But the first steps to dealing with the fact that your young child doesn't sleep through the night, or doesn't want to sleep without you is to realize that:

* (1) Not sleeping through the night until they are 3 or 4 years of age is normal and healthy behavior for human infants.
* (2) Your children are not being difficult or manipulative, they are being normal and healthy, and behaving in ways that are appropriate for our species.

Once you understand these simple truths, it becomes much easier to deal with parenting your child at night. Once you give up the idea that you must have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night, and view these nighttime interactions with your child as precious and fleeting, you get used to them very quickly.

I highly recommend Dr. Sears' book on Nighttime Parenting [available from the La Leche League International Catalogue]. Our children's early years represent the most important and influential time of their lives. It passes all too quickly. But meeting your child's needs during these first few years will pay off in many ways in the years to come.

Prepared August 25, 1997.


Last updated March 16, 2004, by kad. Contents copyright 1999-2004 by Sue Ann Kendall and Kathy Dettwyler. Thanks to Prairienet, the Free-Net of east-central Illinois, for hosting this site from 1999 through 2004.

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Old 12-14-2009, 12:29 AM   #36
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Re: Do any of you co-sleeping mamas have babies that sleep through the night?

I coslept with my ff daughter until she was 3. She started STTN at about 5 months old. My twins do not sleep with us. Not enough room in our bed. They sleep together and still do not STTN at almost 14 months.
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Old 12-14-2009, 12:39 AM   #37
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Re: Do any of you co-sleeping mamas have babies that sleep through the night?

We cosleep and DS has slept through the night, min 6 hours, since about 2 months. He will usually then get up get a diaper change, eat and go back to sleep for about another 3 hours.
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