Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-02-2010, 06:34 PM   #1
RochelleS's Avatar
RochelleS
Registered Users
Formerly: shae
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Washington state
Posts: 1,504
My Mood:
Best tips for kids close in age

I'm getting nervous about having two kids so close in age. My daughter will be 18-19 months old when the new baby arrives, but as of right now, she's super small and has been behind/slow in development, so she's not as independent or advanced as other babies her age.

Give me your best tips on managing life (I'm a SAHM) with kids close in age!

Advertisement

__________________
I'm Rochelle! Mama to DD (1/15/09) and DS (8/20/10).
RochelleS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2010, 06:48 PM   #2
doodah's Avatar
doodah
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 9,958
Re: Best tips for kids close in age

My girls are 20 months apart. The thing that works best for me is to put the older on a routine (if she is not already on one) and then slowly but surely fit the baby into that. You will figure everything out eventually but having an orderly house really makes a difference. Keep encouraging your older to learn things on her own, play on her own, etc. It will be a lifesaver if she can keep herself busy during the times you are nursing or feeding the baby. Make a big deal about being a big sister and being a big girl. Most kids will get excited about anything that other people are excited about. Is there any particular concerns you have? Otherwise, I would say that your best bet is to enlist help at the beginning and after that keep your expectations realistic as far as what you can handle doing and what your older is capable of doing.
doodah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2010, 06:58 PM   #3
stina_t's Avatar
stina_t
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,192
My Mood:
Re: Best tips for kids close in age

Mine are 13 months apart and it helps to just go with flow early on. I was very lax with my dd when my ds was born and spent as much time with her as I could so she would not feel left out or replaced. It will all work out mama, even if it's rough at first.
__________________
Lovin' my little girl Lilah Rosalie 4/10/08 and baby boy Vincent Stone 5/10/09.
stina_t is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2010, 07:00 PM   #4
stina_t's Avatar
stina_t
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,192
My Mood:
Re: Best tips for kids close in age

Oh, and prepared ahead frozen meals and crock-pot meals will be a life saver. I made sure to have plenty of everything, meals (easy to prepare), snacks, diapers wipes, ect. so I did not HAVE to leave the house at any time.
__________________
Lovin' my little girl Lilah Rosalie 4/10/08 and baby boy Vincent Stone 5/10/09.
stina_t is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2010, 09:21 PM   #5
mmmom's Avatar
mmmom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,112
My Mood:
Re: Best tips for kids close in age

Mine are 20months apart I will be honest it was rough in the begining.
Freezer meals are a most, I have a whole book of them if you need ideas :thumpsup:

One of the biggest issues dd had adjusting was the constant waiting, while I was nursing so I made a special box. I filled it with books, little toys and trinkets and a color wonder, which was our favorite and as soon as I got that box out she ran to the couch adn we played while ds nursed.

Remember that the dishes will get done and the house will get clean but is doesn't have to be done all the time. If people want to help you ask them to do the housework I live by the motto that my kid will never remember how clean our house was but how much time I spent with them.

You can do this
__________________
lovin' preschool teacher, part time student Momma to... The Japanese Princess and her bigger little brother
mmmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2010, 09:34 PM   #6
sjmj
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 843
Re: Best tips for kids close in age

I guess I am the odd ball. My first two were 16 months apart. Then my third came after 25 months. I thought the 25 month gap was way harder than the 16 month gap. With the 4th pregnancy, I told DH that if he wanted another one he better hurry up...needless to say #3 will be 15 months when this LO arrives.

I found them being close in age stressful at times but there were many positives. I had #1 on a good schedule by the time #2 got here. She was still young enough, where if she ate a sandwich for dinner it was no big deal (#1 and #2 did not let me get away with this when #3 was born). Also I did not have to worry about toys that were not baby safe like I do now. My olders really enjoy helping with the baby so that has been a huge help to me.

You will get through this and it is wonderful once they get on the same sleep schedule! I also made it a point to do fun/special things (even it it was just snuggle time) with the olders as soon as the baby was not eating or sleeping.
sjmj is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2010, 03:17 AM   #7
HadassahSukkot's Avatar
HadassahSukkot
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 11,633
My Mood:
Re: Best tips for kids close in age

Mine are that far apart and I'm just now finally getting #1 back on a schedule after my mom left 3 weeks ago.

I had freezer meals ready for us, I had cookies ready that just needed to be cooked, cakes that had been made, decorated and frozen, and I made sure the pantry was stocked and that we had enough water and juice (etc) when it came to the week I was going in the hospital. My mom arrived the day I got out of the hospital (week later) - no joke!

She was here 3 months helping out as had a c-section and really needed it. I couldn't lift either boy, or hold them for long periods of time.

I was going NUTS for the frst month and a half, due to the regression of my oldest. He went almost completely non-verbal for a while... and this is the child that you can clearly understand from time to time, and has at least a 50 word vocabulary.

He's did better 2 months out, and was AWESOME last month. Mom left, then we went back into regression, tears for "neenah" when he didn't want to listen to me, and refusal to continue potty learning for a week or more (I'd have to look at the calendar).

I'd had enough, so I reminded him of our charts and starting Friday last week put him in big-boy-pants (undies) and said that's it, he's learning now, I've had enough excuses and molly-coddling - he's learning and helping mommy.
Last week he got all good marks on his behavior chart and I took a photo for posterity. We had our moments, but when reminded of the chart, he shaped up.
IF he gets all good marks for the day, we have a goodie bucket with small toys, books and snacks that he can pick out whatever he wants and have. IF he gets good marks all week -- we go on a family outing (even if I don't feel 100% up to it).

I have a chart and stickers for his using the potty. I've informed him if he stays dry ALL day, and in the same pair, he gets something special. If he stays dry all week - he gets something else special. We've had accidents, but yesterday we were upwards of 6 hours before he went into a diaper for the night. That's a major improvement for him.

My issue right now is that my youngest is a bit of a night owl and my oldest is a morning bird... And they tag team ALL day long. Thaddäus eats anywhere from 1-7am every 30-60 minutes, then Jonathan wakes up and wants to be changed and have breakfast.

Lunchtime's the same. I get me and Jonathan fed, then Teddy's ready. Get him down, have to get Jonathan down.
It's time for nap after that. Jonathan goes to play or nap, and Teddy's up for food and play (and I'm exhausted!). Get him down and asleep and Jonathan's ready for the same thing.

Close to 4pm, I've no thoughts for dinner, DH calls and asks what we're having and if he needs to pick anything up/if Jonathan is coming with him or not - and what our plans are for the evening. I have no clue . LOL

Dinner time is also a toss up. One or the other kid's napping while we cook, and as soon as dinner is there, the opposite child wakes/sleeps.

Come bed time (7-7:30 for the oldest), We get him down and the youngest wants to play. It can take until 11 some nights to get him down.

It's rewarding, but right now for us, it's stressful because both boys are high needs. One needs super structure and to have jobs during the day so he feels like he's getting enough attention - the other needs attention period.

The positive is that they are close enough that they don't like being seperated unless it's so one can go shopping - they like "playing" together, hugs and kisses - and more often than not, cosleeping in our bed together.

I figure eventually they'll get on the same sleep schedule, and before we know it, be cosleeping together, potty trained, then in college.
__________________


HadassahSukkot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2010, 01:16 PM   #8
Mommy2Be08's Avatar
Mommy2Be08
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 2,442
My Mood:
Re: Best tips for kids close in age

My two are 13 months apart. The things that help us are a schedule for DS1 and DS2 goes with the flow lol. I always make sure I give DS1 a little one on one time everyday when DS2 is napping. Somedays I feel like Supermom the house is clean, dishes are done, dinner is on for Dh when he gets home, and the boys are happy and have had a good day...and then there are the crazy days where the house is a mess and you can't wait till house is quiet and you can not think lol
Household thing I can't live without having two little ones: a crock pot! IF you don't have one get one! Its nice to have yummy meals that you don't have to spend alot of time cooking! Especially in the first few weeks when theres no time to do anything lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by sjmj View Post
I guess I am the odd ball. My first two were 16 months apart. Then my third came after 25 months. I thought the 25 month gap was way harder than the 16 month gap. With the 4th pregnancy, I told DH that if he wanted another one he better hurry up...needless to say #3 will be 15 months when this LO arrives.

I found them being close in age stressful at times but there were many positives. I had #1 on a good schedule by the time #2 got here. She was still young enough, where if she ate a sandwich for dinner it was no big deal (#1 and #2 did not let me get away with this when #3 was born). Also I did not have to worry about toys that were not baby safe like I do now. My olders really enjoy helping with the baby so that has been a huge help to me.

You will get through this and it is wonderful once they get on the same sleep schedule! I also made it a point to do fun/special things (even it it was just snuggle time) with the olders as soon as the baby was not eating or sleeping.
I keep hearing the same thing over and over about the smaller gaps! I love that my two are 13 months apart...wouldn't change it for the world!
ANother reason not to put off baby number 3!!! lol....man the baby bug has me bad lol
__________________
Jocelyne mommy 4 beautiful boys! Baby#5 Due August 2014 I'm Shaving my head to conquer childhood cancer! http://www.stbaldricks.org/participa...ge/675375/2014
Mommy2Be08 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2010, 01:41 PM   #9
~happy2Bamommy~'s Avatar
~happy2Bamommy~
Four things come not back: The spoken word; the sped arrow; the past life; and the neglected opportunity.
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,726
My Mood:
Re: Best tips for kids close in age

My oldest two DD's are 13 months apart.

I think I blocked a lot of things out! I honestly can't remember a lot of when they were tiny I know things were VERY busy! Really, the girls did great together. I do know that my oldest was not fazed at all (negatively) by a baby coming along. I think parents get more stressed about it then kids do

They are heading rapidly into their teens now.

I guess my best advice would be to really cherish the crazy days to come. Don't get so caught up in all the hustle and bustle that you are like me and look back and regret not just stopping and taking the time to just enjoy your wee ones... Instead of going nuts trying to clean up the yogurt they were playing in I should have joined them in "painting". Instead of shooing them away from rain puddles I should have taught them to jump in them. Instead of worrying about what people thought of the house and the way my children dressed I should have just let some things slide and not stressed so much.

I've been doing A LOT of things differently with my younger children. When this one arrives I will have three, 4 and under. I'm going to sit and enjoy it.Really,really enjoy it!

Oh, I second the crock pot! Also, cook double batches of things and freeze one batch for later. I know this helps me a lot now.
__________________
For a sure-fire humdinger of a thread start one on:The Duggars,Government Assistance, Politics, Crickets,
Religion,Circumcision, Infant Ear Piercing,Spanking,Breast Milk vs Formula,Feeding kids Fast Food
/ Beans & Rice, Sniffing Butt, or Vaccinating.

~happy2Bamommy~ is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.