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Old 04-19-2007, 09:06 AM   #1
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here's a s/o topic about "what is a true gentleman"

this is a s/o from the NIP thread, but it is not only related to NIP, hence the new topic.

the question for discussion is "what is a true gentleman?" what does he do? what does he say? what makes you call him a true gentleman?

again, this is NOT only about nursing in public, although there can be facets of a true gentlemen related to that...

I'll post my comments later, the baby's hungry!!

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Old 04-19-2007, 09:23 AM   #2
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Re: here's a s/o topic about "what is a true gentleman"

I really don't like the term. I think we should all be polite to everyone but I will not teach my kids to do the stereotypical gentleman stuff because it's sexist.

Obviously opening a door for someone who cannot (handicapped, person with arms full etc) is fine but I will not teach him to open a door for a woman, give up a seat for a woman etc just because she is a woman.
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:45 AM   #3
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Re: here's a s/o topic about "what is a true gentleman"

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Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
I really don't like the term. I think we should all be polite to everyone but I will not teach my kids to do the stereotypical gentleman stuff because it's sexist.

Obviously opening a door for someone who cannot (handicapped, person with arms full etc) is fine but I will not teach him to open a door for a woman, give up a seat for a woman etc just because she is a woman.
Fair enough. I respect your opinion.

However, this is thread is still about what the title calls it. Thanks for understanding!
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:56 AM   #4
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Re: here's a s/o topic about "what is a true gentleman"

I think manners are very important! I would hope that if my son saw a woman standing there he would offer her his seat or hold the door for her. I am shocked to see a man rush through a door while I am pushing a stroller behind him and he doesn't bother to hold the door for me. (same goes for a woman that would do that....it isn't about being sexist, it is about having manners.)

I think my husband is quite a gentelman. He is very polite when speaking to others, holds doors, offers his seat to others when they don't have one, offers to help our single neighbor when he sees her trying to carry in heavy things from her car....the list goes on.
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:20 PM   #5
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Re: here's a s/o topic about "what is a true gentleman"

True gentleman, or true lady, I think it boils down to having manners and common courtesy. It doesn't cost a thing to be polite or considerate. If I'm in a public place and I see a women or a man who is obviously struggling with health, whether pregnant or disabled, etc, yes, I will give up my seat or open a door if I'm able to. I don't think there's any excuse not to. I hope that my kids will learn to treat others with respect and courtesy.

My DH has a long way to go, and while he's a caring person, he's not very considerate most of the time. I usually have to ask him to open the door or help me with something. He just doesn't see it, and I think it's because he wasn't raised that way. No one in his family is. However, the fact that he's willing to do anything to help me puts him in that category for me.

So, in our house I try to model the behavior I hope to see from others and hope that they eventually try it themselves and get the great feelings that come with knowing you helped someone and made them feel good.

I'm definitely interested in hearing others opinions!
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:21 PM   #6
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Re: here's a s/o topic about "what is a true gentleman"

My husband and I just had a conversation about this yesterday. My husband does all of the traditional "gentlemanly" things, such as opening doors for me (including the car door, every time), pulling out my chair, helping me with my coat, etc. This is just something he has always done, and I appreciate it. My stepsons were also taught to do the same, and they did even for their sisters. My girls have been taught to be gracious and kind, and to say THANK YOU when someone extends them such a courtesy. My husband doesn't just do this for us. If we are out in public and there is a woman struggling to open a door with her stroller, he will rush to help. He is just naturally a considerate person (well, most of the time). I appreciate that about him.
I also will hold the door for other people though - elderly people, other moms with kids, or heck even just the person coming behind me to exit. It's just polite.
I don't feel that it is an insult to me as a person to have my husband hold doors for me and such. It's a gesture of consideration, and I appreciate that. He knows that I am a strong woman and I don't NEED him to do these things -but I also know that he is fully capable of folding his own socks. Yet I still do it for him.
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:29 PM   #7
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Re: here's a s/o topic about "what is a true gentleman"

common courtesy I agree

opens doors for those who would obviously need it, respectful, etc.
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:36 PM   #8
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Re: here's a s/o topic about "what is a true gentleman"

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
I really don't like the term. I think we should all be polite to everyone but I will not teach my kids to do the stereotypical gentleman stuff because it's sexist.

Obviously opening a door for someone who cannot (handicapped, person with arms full etc) is fine but I will not teach him to open a door for a woman, give up a seat for a woman etc just because she is a woman.
fair enough .. I teach my son to respect women .. and open doors for them .. he even lets his gal pals pick their snacks first.. bc he lives by the .. "Ladies first rule " I think it is sweet that he is like that.. and his father is like that.. I couldnt imagine living with a man that wasnt like that.. but then again.. he doesnt expect me to work either.. he supports his family... but that is ot.

I think a gentleman is a whole round of things.. putting others first.. ect. takeing care of his family .. ect... I guess if he wasnt opening doors for ppl.. or helping others out .. he would just be any old " man " .
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:37 PM   #9
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Re: here's a s/o topic about "what is a true gentleman"

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Originally Posted by Melissa~BHS View Post
My husband and I just had a conversation about this yesterday. My husband does all of the traditional "gentlemanly" things, such as opening doors for me (including the car door, every time), pulling out my chair, helping me with my coat, etc. This is just something he has always done, and I appreciate it. My stepsons were also taught to do the same, and they did even for their sisters. My girls have been taught to be gracious and kind, and to say THANK YOU when someone extends them such a courtesy. My husband doesn't just do this for us. If we are out in public and there is a woman struggling to open a door with her stroller, he will rush to help. He is just naturally a considerate person (well, most of the time). I appreciate that about him.
I also will hold the door for other people though - elderly people, other moms with kids, or heck even just the person coming behind me to exit. It's just polite.
I don't feel that it is an insult to me as a person to have my husband hold doors for me and such. It's a gesture of consideration, and I appreciate that. He knows that I am a strong woman and I don't NEED him to do these things -but I also know that he is fully capable of folding his own socks. Yet I still do it for him.
same thing here
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:38 PM   #10
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Re: here's a s/o topic about "what is a true gentleman"

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Originally Posted by Melissa~BHS View Post
My husband and I just had a conversation about this yesterday. My husband does all of the traditional "gentlemanly" things, such as opening doors for me (including the car door, every time), pulling out my chair, helping me with my coat, etc. This is just something he has always done, and I appreciate it. My stepsons were also taught to do the same, and they did even for their sisters. My girls have been taught to be gracious and kind, and to say THANK YOU when someone extends them such a courtesy. My husband doesn't just do this for us. If we are out in public and there is a woman struggling to open a door with her stroller, he will rush to help. He is just naturally a considerate person (well, most of the time). I appreciate that about him.
I also will hold the door for other people though - elderly people, other moms with kids, or heck even just the person coming behind me to exit. It's just polite.
I don't feel that it is an insult to me as a person to have my husband hold doors for me and such. It's a gesture of consideration, and I appreciate that. He knows that I am a strong woman and I don't NEED him to do these things -but I also know that he is fully capable of folding his own socks. Yet I still do it for him.

couldnt have said it better myself
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