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|03-26-2010, 11:41 AM||#1|
anyone else scared about having the baby?
So this is my 3rd and I am not scared of the actual birth process but what will happen when baby comes home.
With my first I was 21 so kinda young but I have a big family and they were so excited and bought tons of stuff. Baby was spoiled. I knew I was preggo before I tested.
2nd was 14 mths after the first I was 22. I was nervous about having two so close together but very excited from the day the test turned positive. I also had a feeling I was preggo before I tested.
I wanted more kids but not right away and I tried BC but it made me so sick so we used the pull out method.
So fast forward to this baby. 24 years old. I had not had a period so I tested twice and no pregnancy. I kept telling myself I was just stressed. Then another mth no period. Everyone was saying your pregnant so I bought another test of course it was positive and I sat on the steps and cried and cried.
I called my mom. I did not want to be pregnant right then. I cried to DH but what options were there. we were not responsible. I held off going to the DR until around 19 weeks. I kept telling myself I was not pregnant. Then I felt the baby kick and I knew it was real and I had to see a Dr.
The whole time I have not been excited like with the other babies. Ultrasound day was the first time I found myself smiling at the thought of another baby. I have been buying diapers and clothes ect.... but it is still not real exciting.
I am scared to death to bring this baby home. I am afraid that everything will go bad. I am kinda OCD with my house. I hate a mess, hate clutter and I clean my butt off all day. My dh has got used to this what if he comes home and I have puke in my hair the house is a mess and dinner is burning.
He works about 70hrs a week so he is not much help. He is a good man and always telling me to slow down but I am terrified. I have a big family but they rarely come around so I have no help.
I feel like a horrible mom, who is not excited about a baby?
Bfing, Delayed Vaxing, Cding wife & mom to I 3 1/2, G 2 and Sophia Rose 2 mths