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Old 06-08-2006, 05:30 AM   #11
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Re: Should I encourage a friend to BF?

I agree, definately encourage her to go the bf route. We know the benefits and it sounds like she does, too. She maybe just needs the support to do it!

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Old 06-08-2006, 07:11 AM   #12
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Re: Should I encourage a friend to BF?

I would say encourage it yes, but not push. You can set a good example by nursing around her so she can see that it is easy!
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Old 06-09-2006, 05:07 PM   #13
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Re: Should I encourage a friend to BF?

I think you should encourage your friend to breastfeed. Tell her all the benefits and even some of the parts that make breastfeeding rough. Remind her that you will always be there for her, day or night and then make sure you are. Also tell her that once the baby and her have establised a good breastfeeding routine that she can pump a bottle for others to feed the baby.

Also find out info on why breastmilk is so much better than formula. I didn't know that formula is actually the 4th best way to feed your baby. 1st if breastfeeding, directly from the breast, 2nd is pumped milk from your own breast, 3rd is donated breastmilk and 4th is formula.

I love the bond that I have with my son. I love that he needs mommy.

Good luck and I hope she trusts you enough to listen to your advice.
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Old 06-09-2006, 07:33 PM   #14
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Re: Should I encourage a friend to BF?

I say to encourage but don't push. I was so excited to BF. I couldn't wait!! But, I can totally relate to her wanting someone to be able to help her feed the baby. When DS was born I went through a pretty bad spell with PPD. I felt so trapped. I loved BF and hated it at the same time. I know that sounds stupid, but that's how I felt. It got so bad that I ended up deciding to FF. Me, the BFing advocate that had waited 7 YEARS to BF this baby. I was able to BF and FF until DS was 4 months old. Then he decided it was easier to take the bottle so why struggle with Mommy and her super big boobs with the huge flat nipples that he couldn't stay latched on to. By that time my supply had dwindled to nothing and I gave up. It's only been a month since he quit and I already regret it, but I did what I felt was right at the time. I can honestly say that had I continued BFing I don't think I would have overcome the PPD. I NEEDED to be able to let people help me. I just wish things had worked out differently for us. Just remember that if she decides to go with formula she's doing what she thinks is right.
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Old 06-09-2006, 07:43 PM   #15
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Re: Should I encourage a friend to BF?

Without a doubt I would encourage her to BF!!!
Would you want her to do anything less than the best for her baby?
I would also be prepared to offer her encouragement and support on the issues that are bound to pop up throughout her BFing relationship. Mom's need one another on this journey.
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Old 06-09-2006, 09:46 PM   #16
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Re: Should I encourage a friend to BF?

Yep, I would also say to encourage her. Let her know that you respect her decision and either way will be fine in the end but, as a mom who has been there, done that, you wanted to share your experiences. While it may *seem* that bottles will be easier, I've always found them more work. Can you imagine having to get out of bed at night and prep a bottle for the baby? Even if you're getting up to nurse the baby (I co-sleep), it's a heck of a lot easier then getting formula (mixing it if you need though most premix the night before) and heating it up. BF'ing also give you an excuse to sit and take a break.

BF'ing is very hard and can be quite painful at first but it was SO worth it for me! Also, if you do convince her to give it a go, be there for her as she goes through the first few hard weeks... Getting through the first two months is the hardest part.
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Old 06-09-2006, 09:50 PM   #17
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Re: Should I encourage a friend to BF?

Definitely encourage her!!! I tried to bf dd1 and only lasted 4 days & then I was undecided with dd2 and ended up ff . I wanted to bf, but had no support, because NOBODY in mine or dh's family bf their kids so they all thought I was crazy for wanting to. I would love to have had somebody like you to encourage and support me.
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Old 06-10-2006, 05:50 AM   #18
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Re: Should I encourage a friend to BF?

I second being encouraging!! My friend Donna was the only one encouraging me. No one else really understood how important it was for me.
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Old 06-10-2006, 06:56 PM   #19
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Re: Should I encourage a friend to BF?

maybe give her a copy of the womanly art of breastfeeding. i was already nursing my boys when i found this book, but it was (and continues to be) a huge source of inspiration. i love looking through it and learning about how wonderful bm is for my babies, and also for our world as a whole. i can't tell you how much i have learned just by flipping through the pages. give her a copy and let her see for herself, and let her know you are there for her, be her support, call her and ask how nursing is going (assuming she decides to go for it). you could go to an LLL meeting and invite her to come along.

also, i found this to encouraging (again, after i was already nursing, but it helped keep me going at some points):

http://www.parentingweb.com/lounge/dw_wean.htm

another point to get across is that in the beginning, jsut being a parent is tough, whether you breast or bottle feed. but after a few months things gradually get better, including nursing, and it isn't long before bfing is actually EASIER than bottles! and jsut because someone else CAN feed the baby in the night doesn't mean they are going to!

have you gotten a good sense of why she is undecided? is she unsure if she would be able to bf? is she nervous about some aspect of it? i think it can be a scary thought for some people, most people have never seen a baby at the breast, its still not 'mainstream'. bf'ing still has that sort of mystery aspect to it for most people i think. talk to her, see what she's thinking. and let us know what she decides. tell her we are all cheering her on!
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Old 06-12-2006, 11:14 AM   #20
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Re: Should I encourage a friend to BF?

I think one the most helpful things can be to talk through her specific concerns, hesitations, etc, if you're good enough friends to do that. I.e, if she's worried about night-nursing - explain how easy it is to nurse laying down, much more restful than giving a bottle. If she's worried about DH bonding with baby, maybe he could wear baby in a carrier, do baths, diapers, etc...my DH never gave our boys a bottle but they have a wonderful bond. Is she worried about sore nipples? Get her some lansinoh and info on good latch, etc...see what I mean? Maybe she just needs some creative "troubleshooting" to boost her confidence.
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