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Old 01-05-2013, 03:04 PM   #11
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Re: Lets talk attachment disorder

Kristen, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. You are the "mom" in the household, so if you think of it as more of a title than actually being "her mom", it doesn't seem so bad. I guess I don't think a child should be told they can't call someone mom if that's what they want to do. JMO, of course.


A SAHM to four long out of diapers (all used cloth for all or part of their diapering years) and a baby girl currently in cloth part time.
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Old 01-05-2013, 07:32 PM   #12
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Re: Lets talk attachment disorder

Well, my thoughts are that she has a real mom, who she sees regularly, and a foster mom, so in keeping with them trying to teach her appropriate boundaries, I should have just said that she should call me Kristen. But since she'd only been here a little bit, and I was a perfect stranger, I was trying to make her feel comfortable. I felt bad...all of their bio kids got to go to friends, but their foster kids had to go to a stranger. While I know there are worse things in life, sending a 6 month old to a stranger for 3 days is so unfair to him. The 5 year old adjusted better because I have a 5 year old, so she just fit right in. But the baby just cried for 3 days every time I put him down.
Middle school teacher by day, super mom by night
Mommy to The Boss~2007, The Energizer Bunny~2009, and The Princess~2011
My kids are no longer in diapers, but somehow, my computer keeps finding its way back here...
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Old 01-05-2013, 09:31 PM   #13
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I agree that you are the mom if the house like the captain of a ship or something, like A said. But in terms of attachment everything kind of goes out the window. I dont think it was the wrong answer but there is more than one right answer. Its so complex.

Its really cool that your kiddo could bond with the respite kiddo! I'm sure he could really relate to her with the stranger thing, since your other kids dont get it, the older one anyway.
I, mama to dd A (3-08) dfs J (10/11) and in love with newbie dfd N! (10/13)
hopeful pre-adoptive foster family
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