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Old 05-01-2010, 01:18 PM   #1
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It's that time of year when I am suppose to be happy and celebrate turning another year older. People will say congratulations you survived another year. This year I am having trouble participating in their excitment for me and being one year older. Why, you ask? Well I had this dream of being happily married with children. I always thought it would happen before I turned thirty. This year I will turn twenty eight, which means I lost another year. Loosing another year, means my dream slips slowly away again. When you are a child you always dream of what you are going to be when you grow up. I did too, of course. I went through all the standards, doctor, teacher and so on. However deep down I always knew I wanted to be a mother. Most people that know me, know of my deep love for children. I am an only child, so I didn't have any younger sibiling, which makes me question why I have so much maternal instinct. Most people who have younger siblings get their motherly/fatherly instinct from having to help with younger siblings. I didn't have to do that, so the only answer I can give to the reason why I have so much motherly instinct is that it is God given. But I question why he gave me so much, but has left me childless and husband less for so long? It is so hard to wait onhis timing, especially when my biological clock is ticking. Yes that maybe to much information fir whom ever is reading this. All I know is that I am destined to be a mother, and it kills me everyday to wake up and realize that I am not one. I've tried learning a trade like everyone else, but can't absorb it. However when it comes to anything child related I can absorb it, remember it and excell in it. I'm sure that this is some kind of test, but I'm not sure what I am suppose to learn. I just know that I do not want to be an older parent. I enjoy my job very much, but they are not mine and it's different. If I could only pause the ageing process, for my benefit. Sorry for my ranting. Just needed to get it out of my head.

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Old 05-01-2010, 01:24 PM   #2
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I would suggest adopting. I only say that because God gave you your feeling for children for a reason and so many need a good home! Good luck!
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Old 05-01-2010, 01:30 PM   #3
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I am not sure I can afford all of the costs that come along with adopting.
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Old 05-01-2010, 09:09 PM   #4
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Hugs Mama!

Sometimes, God has a much better plan for us than what we dreamed/hoped. Keep your trust in Him and Him Alone.. He will give you the desires of your heart!
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Old 05-01-2010, 09:22 PM   #5
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I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I wish a wonderful person would come your way...someone that was ready for a committed relationship and children. I'm sure you've heard lots of supportive type comments so I won't try to offer anything lame....I don't think your love for children will be wasted. Somehow you will be able to use that love for children of your own.

I know you are feeling like the clock is ticking. But you are still so young mama. It's totally common nowadays for women to have babies while they are in their forties. I know you would rather be a young mama though. I hope 2010 brings some wonderful things to your life. You never know. Love can be just around the corner.
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Old 05-01-2010, 09:39 PM   #6
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hugs !! i have two good friends dealing with this same question. one of them has decided to be a single mom via sperm donation. i think for her, as crazy as it may sound to others, makes perfect sense and she is so courageous to do it. she's the same age as you, a very maternal/homemaker type of person with no prospects at this point. i think she'll be a great single mom. she's been saving money for a long time to be able to make this a reality for her.

i'll keep you in my to get to be a wife and a mommy someday very soon!
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Old 05-01-2010, 10:55 PM   #7
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Thank you everyone for your supportive and encouraging comments. KT~Momma, after reading your post, I think I might consider what your friend has done. I can start saving now for the costs, including a nest egg for the future baby. I joined DS when I decided to foster. However, my roommate has some mental/emotional issues that will probably prevent me to foster. With that being said, I've already gathered most of the necessities needed for a baby. I have the cd stash, crib, car seats and bottles. You name it I probably have it, lol.
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Old 05-05-2010, 09:56 PM   #8
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I don't think you should write off your chances just yet! Having a baby by sperm donation may make it less likely for you to find someone that is great for you in the near future, and it is nice to be able to share the experience with someone you love. My stepmom married my dad a few years ago - she had never been married before and got married at 35 I think. She had my little sister 3 years ago, at 39. I am not saying you should wait that long, but you still have a few more years to make your dreams come true!
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Old 05-09-2010, 08:29 PM   #9
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Just a thought for you. Have you read the story of Sarah and how she gave birth at a very old age. She too had longed for a child and she WAS given one in HIS time. I know it hard but God does have a plan for your life and it is soooo much better than you could ever dream of. I am 37 and just had my 3rd child. Maybe a little older than I wanted to be but I was 28 before I met soul mate! I know without a doubt it was all in his plan. I don't question it. I am just thankful! Cheer up! Your day will be hear before you know it. My husband and I can't even remember life before our children and you will be in our shoes one day. God wants nothing more than to fill the desires of our hearts. Be obedient in your walk with him and everything else will fall into place!
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Old 05-12-2010, 06:10 AM   #10
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My story: My life's dream has always been to be a SAHM with as many children as possible and a great husband.
I had been engaged, but was given the news that I would not be able to have children because of a uterine deformity and ovary condition. When my fiance realized what this meant for him, he called off the engagement about 5 months before my 28th birthday. In November 2004, I turned 28. I was starting the process of getting my finances in order in preparation to buy a house and start the adoption process on my own. Basically, I had given up hope.
In February 2005, I started hosting a single ladies' Bible study in cooperation with my church. Since there was nothing for single guys, the church asked me to allow the one single guy to attend. I was annoyed, didn't like him at all, and resented the imposition. In March, I fell in love with him. April, he asked me to marry him. July, we got married.
Despite the medical facts, we now have our first daughter, born naturally to me in January 2010.

There is still a part of me that regrets that God didn't allow me to start all of this earlier, but even at 32, I am still a very grateful, energetic, loving mom. And I still intend to have more children. We are already trying for #2.

I hope this gives you some hope.
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