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Old 12-29-2012, 07:09 AM   #201
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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Originally Posted by Layney82 View Post
ETA: The Canadian stance since the 1980s has been that the benefits do not outway the risks, so routine circing isn't recommended. http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/circumcision It's pretty much a non-issue here.
Actually they're reviewing that stance due to latest research and are believed to go with the same recommendation as the U.S. There was a whole thing on the CBC about it a couple weeks ago. What was really interesting is there is a doctor in B.C. who has a new way to circumcise older children and adults which doesn't require anesthesia, or stitches and is a faster recovery. So that actually, might make more people not feel pressured to make a decision when their son is a baby.
However, I have no problem with parents going either way with proper information. My husband is not circumcised and had no problems but we will circumcise for religious reasons.

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Old 12-29-2012, 07:22 AM   #202
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

My MIL and especially my FIL has issues with it, but I still didn't feel judged. My FIL had a "legitimate" reason and the most vocal but never with me. Mostly with my SIL (who did circ somewhat against her will -- her DH choice) and some with my DH. He was in the navy and say men who weren't Circ have some terrible issues, I'm sure due to not keeping themselves clean -- but if you witnessed that I could see not wanting that for your grandson. My MIL was never vocal with me either.

DS is 3 now and it isn't an issue and I am happy with our decision. I did leave it up to DH in the end, but I told him it would not be done in the hospital with all those horror stories. If he chose to get it done we would have done it in a dr office during his first week. So if he wanted it done he had to find someone good to take him too.

If you aren't comfortable bringing it up in your group, don't unless you are asked. I could see if everyone else did it, if any of them regret it at all, they could get defensive and make the situation not pleasant.
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Old 12-29-2012, 10:04 AM   #203
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

My DS is cs'd but I would never think anything of someone not cs'ing their son. I wouldn't even second guess it- we all have our reasons as parents for doing what we do. I wouldn't want to be made to feel bad for my cs'ing decision so I wouldn't so that to someone else.

I never did those mommy and me things- a lot of mommies are very judgemental and I try to avoid the drama!
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Old 12-29-2012, 10:22 AM   #204
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

I have only had one person say anything and it was weird. She asked if DH was cut and then said that it would be weird for them to not be like dad. I told her that was not a reason to cut my sons' penises and she refused to talkk about it further, which was fine for me.
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Old 12-29-2012, 10:32 AM   #205
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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Actually they're reviewing that stance due to latest research and are believed to go with the same recommendation as the U.S. There was a whole thing on the CBC about it a couple weeks ago. What was really interesting is there is a doctor in B.C. who has a new way to circumcise older children and adults which doesn't require anesthesia, or stitches and is a faster recovery. So that actually, might make more people not feel pressured to make a decision when their son is a baby.
However, I have no problem with parents going either way with proper information. My husband is not circumcised and had no problems but we will circumcise for religious reasons.
Where did you see that it is believed to go with the same recommendation as the US? I've read a few articles on it and I haven't deen that. Usually it's just reported as still hotly debated. Around here the only hospital that will do it is the Jewish General. If you want it done you have to find somewhere else to do it (I don't know who/where/how - I never looked into it).
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Old 12-29-2012, 11:29 AM   #206
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I am in a local multiples group and all the ladies are always talking about their baby boy circumcision experiences, and sometimes I feel like if I were to tell them mine weren't I would be looked at like a freak. Now on one hand I really don't care what other people think, on the other I kinda do . I guess the other thing that scares me is; are my boys going to be the odd ones out? What happens in JH and HS when they have to shower after gym?

I really feel like I made the right decision for my boys...I just hope they feel that way too!
The good news is - IF your boys feel left out bc they are intact - they can choose to be circumcise then. :-)
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Old 12-29-2012, 02:05 PM   #207
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

It's only ever come up for me once, seeing as I have girls, and it was a conversation with my midwife about what my preferences were with regard to neo-natal care before we found out that DD2 was a girl. It was the second time she breathed a sigh of relief, the first being when I said the only way I would consent to a c-section was if me or the baby or both were in danger. I told her that we weren't planning on circumcising, as my research showed there was little medical value to it.

As to the mommy wars, we all judge, let's not pretend that we don't. We may not start screaming at people who make different choices than we do, but there's something we judge about. I don't judge formula feeding moms as a whole - I was one, I know how difficult breastfeeding can be and how little support there is for it sometimes, but when I know that a mom has decided to breastfeed for what feels like a frivolous reason, I can't help it. I'm not going to get on her about it, but I feel it. When I see a baby or a young toddler forward facing or worse, in a booster, I generally assume they're uneducated on the subject, but if I know they know better, I judge. And yes, I judge on circumcision. I don't freak out on people, I don't even say anything unless they seem receptive or ask my opinion, but yes I judge. Can't really help it. I have strong opinions and can forgive a lot of sins, but that doesn't mean that I don't judge.
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Old 12-30-2012, 04:41 PM   #208
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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Where did you see that it is believed to go with the same recommendation as the US? I've read a few articles on it and I haven't deen that. Usually it's just reported as still hotly debated. Around here the only hospital that will do it is the Jewish General. If you want it done you have to find somewhere else to do it (I don't know who/where/how - I never looked into it).
They had a whole program about it on the CBC a couple weeks ago (the beginning of Dec I think). You might be able to find the podcast. They specifically said that it is believed that they will change their stance and go with the same recommendation as the states. I was surprised because of all the current anti-circumcision debates in the news. According to the program the latest research shows the benefits outweigh the risks. However, it could be that the reporter was biased. It was heavily pro-circumcision. I was very interested in the program and was paying close attention to it.
I believe my friends who have circumcised their boys had it done by a urologist here in Ontario.

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Old 12-30-2012, 05:14 PM   #209
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

I can't say that I have ever been asked, nor have I asked anyone else, and it's not something that's talked about. I really don't think it's anyone's business, even extended family, but your own and your husband and son's.

Our one son is circumcised as he had to have it done at 3 years old because of his foreskin not retracting. Our youngest is intact as he was a micro preemie and honestly he has enough going on I don't see the reason to add one more operation and procedure to his repertoire.
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Old 12-31-2012, 07:30 AM   #210
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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Originally Posted by momgoddesswife View Post
I can't say that I have ever been asked, nor have I asked anyone else, and it's not something that's talked about. I really don't think it's anyone's business, even extended family, but your own and your husband and son's.

Our one son is circumcised as he had to have it done at 3 years old because of his foreskin not retracting. Our youngest is intact as he was a micro preemie and honestly he has enough going on I don't see the reason to add one more operation and procedure to his repertoire.
3 years of age is too early for a diagnosis of phimosis. Boys are born with naturally occurring phimosis that gradually occurs over time, and there is no right age for a boy to be retactable, and generally occurs before age 18, often by puberty.


"Almost all boys are born with narrow non-retractile foreskin which are fused with the glans beneath. This is a normal developmental physiological condition and is not a cause for concern. Some parents needlessly worry that the opening is not large enough.

Retraction of the foreskin should never be forced. It will retract when it is ready. There is no "right" age for retraction to occur.

A narrow non-retractable prepuce in boys is within the normal range of development and usually causes no problems. The prepuce usually will spontaneously widen until complete retractability is obtained. About 50-60 percent of boys at age ten do not have fully retractable foreskins.17 This is normal.17 After puberty, the percentage of boys with full retractability rapidly increases spontaneously.17

If a narrow or non-retractile prepuce becomes a problem, a wide variety of conservative alternative treatments to circumcision are are now available."

http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/
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