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Old 12-16-2016, 09:47 AM   #11
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Re: Not minimalist, but trying

Thanks! I just dread when one of my kids opens a gift and I have to immediately take it away. It happened at my daughters bday and is bound to happen again. She brought my 3yo a creepy windup collectible doll and insisted that it was to play with. It was in a cute wooden trunk. My son tried to talk my daughter into hiding in it so that he could sit on it. It also has hinges that may take off tiny fingers . I tried really hard to not have to take it from them until she left but they made that impossible. Kids tend to do some pretty dumb things and I did not feel like an ER visit. And the doll ended up in the garage bc it was falling apart from being played with while Nannie was here. Oh well. Can't win them all I suppose.


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Old 12-16-2016, 10:44 AM   #12
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Re: Not minimalist, but trying

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Thanks! I just dread when one of my kids opens a gift and I have to immediately take it away. It happened at my daughters bday and is bound to happen again. She brought my 3yo a creepy windup collectible doll and insisted that it was to play with. It was in a cute wooden trunk. My son tried to talk my daughter into hiding in it so that he could sit on it. It also has hinges that may take off tiny fingers . I tried really hard to not have to take it from them until she left but they made that impossible. Kids tend to do some pretty dumb things and I did not feel like an ER visit. And the doll ended up in the garage bc it was falling apart from being played with while Nannie was here. Oh well. Can't win them all I suppose.


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I had on a thread back in the summer that my MIL brought two giant packs of permanent Sharpie markers to my house. I put them to the side, (out of line of sight) unopened. Then later I went next door. When I came back less than 15 minutes later, MIL had found them, opened them and the kids were all coloring with them. I held my tongue for a couple minutes until my DD colored on my white dining room chair. I snatched them all out of their hands and hid them in my bedroom.

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Old 12-16-2016, 10:52 AM   #13
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Re: Not minimalist, but trying

My mom loves loves loves to shop and give my children gifts. Awesome. I'm so thankful. But she does the big bag of new clothes when we have way too many. I just had the kids pick their favorite and send the rest on. Soo... Long history here. Last year she decided to give the family money for Christmas and one small gift per child. It was wonderful. Wins all around. This year she planned to do the same. We talked about the gifts, she picked very reasonable things. Last night she calls... "Well, papa and I decided to get the kids one more present. It's kind of big." Oh no. Yes. It's four feet wide. And there are two of them. I'm really not sure they will even fit in my car to bring home (and we have a suburban), not to mention our house is full. I do not have floor space anywhere, except the garage. And she knows this. She knows how I feel. I just do.not.understand. I guess I'm just a little sad... I'm starting to think she really has a problem.
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Old 12-16-2016, 10:54 AM   #14
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Re: Not minimalist, but trying

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My mom loves loves loved to do and give my children gifts. Awesome. I'm so thankful. But she does the big bag of new clothes when we have way too many. I just had the kids pick their favorite and send the rest on. Soo... Long history here. Last year she decided to give the family money for Christmas and one small gift per child. It was wonderful. Wins all around. This year she planned to do the same. We talked about the gifts, she picked very reasonable things. Last night she calls... "Well, paid and I decided to get the kids one more present. It's kind of big." Oh no. Yes. It's four feet wide. And there are two of them. I'm really not sure they will even for in my car to bring home (and we have a suburban), not to mention our house of full. I do not have floor space anywhere, except the garage. And she knows this. She knows how I feel. I just do.not.understand. I guess I'm just a little sad... I'm starting to think she really has a problem.

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What is the gift? How often do you go to her house? How often does she come to yours?
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Old 12-16-2016, 11:00 AM   #15
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Re: Not minimalist, but trying

I have no idea what the gift is. She wants me to be surprised along with the kids, aka she knows it is not something I want and she thinks we won't come if she tells me in advance. We live two hours away and she visits about once a month. We used to visit her about add much, but in the past year, have really cut back. her home is in terrible disarray... she may be a hoarder, to the point is hard for us to visit, despite its size (5 bed/5 bath.) I have a strong suspicion these gifts may be staying at her house.
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Old 12-16-2016, 11:34 AM   #16
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Re: Not minimalist, but trying

It helps to know that I'm not the only one with this problem. Im pretty sure that she is addicted to online shopping. Unfortunately, letting her take the kids for the day is not an option. She has shown to make some pretty poor decisions in the past as well as recently. Neither my husband nor I are comfortable letting her care for the kids. The kids do enjoy when she comes here and plays with them.


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Old 12-16-2016, 06:22 PM   #17
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Re: Not minimalist, but trying

Sometimes you have to just say in the nicest way possible to stop. Thank you so much but we are really trying to get rid of all the extra stuff. For some reason we keep accumulating more and more and it's very overwhelming. If you really don't want these I'll take them and donate them because although I really appreciate them, I have too much already.
I had to put my foot down (in a friendly way) to my mil too. They Cant throw anything away. But if you don't get rid of things, it can really get out of hand and overwhelming. Clutter gives me anxiety!
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Old 12-29-2016, 08:21 PM   #18
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Re: Not minimalist, but trying

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No need to stuff it everywhere. Donate, donate, donate! Or sell, if it is valuable and you feel like messing with it.

I'm pretty honest so I just tell people that we really don't need anything but would love a membership to the zoo (or whatever). IME this only semi works. Like if you ask for savings you will probably get some savings + toys. Or if you suggest a day out with grandma she will probably do that....but kid will probably come back with gifts. It's better than it was but it didn't really 'fix' it for us. That and my mom just gives us tons of random stuff when she finds a good deal and those are really hard to reduce! So I feel your pain.
I second every word of the above.

I donate without guilt, especially when I've asked repeatedly that they give experiences or charitable donations but we still end up with a boatload of unneeded clothes etc.
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Old 12-30-2016, 01:49 PM   #19
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Re: Not minimalist, but trying

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I second every word of the above.

I donate without guilt, especially when I've asked repeatedly that they give experiences or charitable donations but we still end up with a boatload of unneeded clothes etc.
I just learned to work with it. As soon as we get home we separate things into keep, return, donate. I get a gift card for returns and hold on to it until there is something they really need/want.
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