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Old 07-19-2017, 08:55 AM   #11
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

DH and I are starting to get the baby fever too (DS will be 1 in 2 weeks) so we've been reading up on it. Have you seen the studies that show that medically speaking you should wait 18 mos? I'm not saying I entirely believe them - I'm a scientist by trade, so I've read some of the studies and I think they've built some buffer into the "18 months" timeline, but there ARE studies that show your risk of low birth weight, premature birth, and small for gestational age increase with closer pregnancies and also with pregnancies more than 5 yrs apart. There are also some newer studies being done that seem to show the risk of autism may increase in pregnancies closer than 12 mos, but I would say these are still not definitive, and the risk of autism is still quite low. Anyway, ultimately it's up to you and how close you want your kids, but you could also weigh the above risks into your decision.

DH and I are both over 30 and DH wants a lot of kids (I may hold him back a bit, but 5 is not unreasonable to me and may be good enough for him), so we can't really afford to wait the recommended 18 mos between pregnancies or I'll be having babies well into my 40s. Based on our research, I'm comfortable with the risks of 12 months (personal opinion here, NOT real medical advice!!!) instead of 18, and I think that will allow us to be finished with kids by my early 40s at the latest. If I were you I would factor in how many kids you may want and how old you are/will be.


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Old 08-19-2018, 06:40 PM   #12
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

I think you pay now or you pay later. Close spacing is really hard in the beginning but easier later when they can do age-appropriate activities together. Far spacing is much easier initially but gets inconvenient later.

I have 2y 4mo between #1 and #2 and 3y 8mo between #2 and #3.

Personally I don't think I could have handled 2 under 2. It's horrible to be pregnant with a young toddler needing you all the time, and it's really really hard to have an even needier newborn when your older child is not old enough to understand the need for space, time, quiet, etc. The 2y 4 mo spacing was bad enough. The 3 y 8mo spacing was way easier.

As far as the relationships between the kids go, IMO that's all about personality and very little about spacing. I always got along better with the sibling who was 10 y apart from me than the one that was 7 y apart from me, and now my 9 y/o and 3 y/o get along better than either of them do with the 6 y/o.

Last edited by mambera; 08-19-2018 at 06:44 PM.
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