Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-06-2013, 08:34 AM   #11
kaydove's Avatar
kaydove
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Guadalajara, Mexico
Posts: 1,321
My Mood:
Re: Window into an Aspie's thought process

I worked at Microsoft for several years and some of the best engineers have Aspergers. It surprisingly common in the tech industry and employees are generally understanding. There's also regular training and people are pretty much aware. There's basically two promotion tracks - one where you move up to managing more and more people and the other track where you become an Architect where you specialise in a certain area and are generally regarded as highly skilled and the go to person for solving complex code problems. We used to joke that Architects work best when they can lock themselves in their office for 8 hours.

All that to say that there are great jobs available! Especially in computer engineering or other sciences, which often Asperger people excel in! As society becomes more and more aware of Aspergers, they are more accepted in the workplace. I'm not sure where you're located but Seattle and the West Coast are Aspie friendly.

Advertisement

__________________
Pagan mama to her little Witchling Seraphina, born 2/21/2012 at home.

ISO: free or cheap shipping to or within Mexico.
kaydove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2013, 03:16 PM   #12
Silver)O(Moon's Avatar
Silver)O(Moon
formerly 4boysMomma
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,343
My Mood:
Re: Window into an Aspie's thought process

Quote:
Originally Posted by MunkyCrazy View Post
Hmmm my DH thinks exactly like that (at almost 32). That's interesting that the Dr said they would lose the diagnosis. DH was diagnosed and medicated for ADHD as a child but I have always believed there was something more. Especially seeing it in DS1 and having his whole family comment about "little DH" acting just like him.
Well the way she explained it was this: in NT people we get from point A to point B by going a certain direction. With Aspergers, they get stuck between point A and B and they need a new "map" to get there because the map we instinctively use as NT doesn't work for them. So as they practice social skills, eye contact, breaking things down into steps, it becomes automatic eventually to the point that at age 25-30 or so it looks automatic to everyone else too and they don't really look or act much different than anyone else.

Now my XH definitely had undiagnosed Aspergers and he acted much like my Aspie teens as a 35 year old man. But the thing for him is he'd never been identified and wasn't aware and conscious of his deficits and working on them. I think that is a big difference. Obviously someone untreated is not going to overcome them the same way a person identified in childhood and being actively coached and taught throughout childhood and adolescence would.

Quote:
Originally Posted by qsefthuko View Post
I am sorry it is so hard. That is scary to think about. Can you get them into a program that helps adults with disabilities? Twice I have worked with people with issues. Both times another adult came along to supervise and make sure they did alright. The first time it was a teen. You couldn't tell just by looking he had any issues. In fact even talking to him you couldn't tell. He just seemed a bit immature. But then so did many other 16 year olds.
That is how both my Aspie teens come off. Only people who know them intimately have any idea they are disabled. My ODS is working with some voc rehab people because he is 17 and doing transition service but he has a more severe diagnosis and its all part of his IEP, SSI stuff. DS2, the 15 yr old doesn't even have an IEP because he hasn't needed it. His diagnostic profile is less "secure" than DS1 just because we haven't sought it as much. I would probably need to get him in for a full neuro-behav eval and then go from there. We haven't actually had him in to the psych since his initial diagnosis around 11.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kaydove View Post
I worked at Microsoft for several years and some of the best engineers have Aspergers. It surprisingly common in the tech industry and employees are generally understanding. There's also regular training and people are pretty much aware. There's basically two promotion tracks - one where you move up to managing more and more people and the other track where you become an Architect where you specialise in a certain area and are generally regarded as highly skilled and the go to person for solving complex code problems. We used to joke that Architects work best when they can lock themselves in their office for 8 hours.

All that to say that there are great jobs available! Especially in computer engineering or other sciences, which often Asperger people excel in! As society becomes more and more aware of Aspergers, they are more accepted in the workplace. I'm not sure where you're located but Seattle and the West Coast are Aspie friendly.
Well he wants to be an engineer in environmental science so that is good. He wants to create green energy solutions to stop global warming. We live in the PNW and hopefully he could find an understanding company to work for!

I am thinking that part of DS's issues may be related to undiagnosed ADHD and Auditory Processing. I think I will have to give myself a swift kick in the bum and get him in to see a specialist. Something about the hormones of puberty have made him wickedly distracted and that really gets in his way of being able to do household chores and follow directions (in addition to the difficulties of black and white literal thinking associated with Aspergers). I was reading some studies recently where over 50% of kids with ASD have co-morbid ADHD but only about 10% are receiving treatment for the ADHD! These kids are suffering unnecessarily and could really improve their executive function and daily living abilities if they were getting meds and therapy for ADHD.

Thanks mamas for the support and feedback. Its tough because he's out of school and home 24/7 and I love his help (he really is quite helpful!) but its such a yo-yo between having a helpful 15 yr old around and then without warning (at least in my mind!) he's in 10 yr old mode. The inconsistency is hard to take esp when I really need his help (I am pregnant and DH works long hours and there is lots to do in our big family!).

I do try to be patient with him! But it can be challenging. Just now he made the 4 yr old cry because he took away his ball. Apparently he was trying to play but when 4 yr old cried he thinks he told him he was going to give it back but I was watching and he seriously said nothing. He just stood there while his little brother screamed. I told him that I think what he's thinking in his head needs to come out his lips or in his body actions. We don't know what his intentions are unless he shows us in actions or words. Limited theory of mind related to autism is what its called but call it what you like - it just makes things chaotic out of nowhere. He isn't always like that, but sometimes he is and suddenly a kid who I feel is mature enough to watch the little kiddos for few minutes while I grab a shower appears to be a little kid himself who needs watching. Sigh.
__________________
Mom of six boys
DS(18)DS(15) DS(13) DS(5) DS(2) and Baby DS
who are the love of my life and the bane of my existence all wrapped up in one wonderful wacky package.
And wife to my amazing DH who supports me in all I do!
Silver)O(Moon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2013, 03:29 AM   #13
mommy2kaitlyn's Avatar
mommy2kaitlyn
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Western South Dakota
Posts: 16,111
My Mood:
Yup! DD is the same! Cleaning the bathroom consisted of cleaning the sink...that really wasn't what needed the most cleaning!

Alisha sent using my "Smartphone".
__________________
Proud Single Mommy of: 1 & 9 angels in heaven. Swags
I will not change my belief's, actions, parenting style, etc just because it offends you! I won't be offended by your belief's, actions, parenting style, etc either. ISO Goodnites Coupons
mommy2kaitlyn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2013, 11:30 AM   #14
mg5g
Self Ban
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,604
My Mood:
Re: Window into an Aspie's thought process

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver)O(Moon View Post
Exactly. And that fact that he is so high functioning and so capable and then suddenly I see the gaps in his thinking vs neurotypical thinking and get scared for him. He's technically an adult in 3 years. He can get job next year (and he wants to!). People are going to expect him to read between the lines and fill in the blanks and I am not sure he can. I think that is the root of my frustration, it comes down to fear that he will fail at independent living skills. That he will experience rejection, get fired, etc. I mean picture charts are fine (and we've used them before) and I can do it again but I wonder when if ever will he be past that and able to figure it out. I don't think his boss will use picture cues, yk? It worries me.

It always helps me to do the "adjust for age" thing for Aspergers - doctors told us at our sons' diagnosis and subsequent family therapy that kids with Aspergers are socially/emotionally about 2/3 their actual age. So kind of like you'd do with a preemie, you adjust their age to help you be reasonable about the developmental milestones. So really he *is* like a 10 year old, and for a 10 year old not to get how to clean the kitchen would be pretty normal. Still I feel sad because he has big plans for college etc and I don't think either of us are adequately prepared for the amount of support he will need and the effort it will take for him to do that at just 18.

If we go by the 2/3 rule he'll have the abilities of a typical 18 yr old by around age 27! The doctors told us for both the boys that they would likely lose their diagnosis by their mid-twenties, early 30's. We were happy, but I don't think we really understood what that meant. Because now I am understanding that those gaps are going to continue to be there for a long time to come. There is a lot less info out there for supporting kids with Aspergers in the teen and young adult years. Or at least I haven't found it!
Mama I'm sorry that you are struggling right now. I think we all have those days were we really worry how well our kids will do! Is your DS legally disabled? Here there is a process of having them declared disabled legally. If so then work should be no problem - companies actually get incentives to hire someone with a disability so there is always that track - being hired as a minority with slight adjustments. Then for college there is usally a disability program and/or office to help transition or adapt courses.

As for employers not wanting to "story board" work I have to say you are DEAD wrong. MANY companies use detailed story boards for ALL employees. I used to work in a hospital call centre where part of what I did was call the "Codes" like on ER "code blue". When a code came in we had to follow WORD for WORD the script of what to do and what to say exactly. It was a high paid, high stress, life or death job and came with a story board But I've also see similar boards when I worked in a consession stand making nachos and we had step by step written instructions when I worked at the city too. Those had pictures and text and were in our manual. It covered everything from turning on computer programs to closing the building for the night.....
anyway the whole point is there are lots of jobs that have things like this and if he wants to work somewhere that doesn't then he CAN create his own too!
mg5g is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2013, 05:05 PM   #15
Chasing Zen's Avatar
Chasing Zen
Registered Users
Formerly: ccsmom11
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,169
My Mood:
Re: Window into an Aspie's thought process

Big Hugs Mama! I feel you on sooooo many levels as our Aspie teen is 16, nearly 17. He's about to get his permit to drive, though I think it was mostly me wanting him to get it as he's expressed that he doesn't feel he'd be a very competent driver. We have so very long to go to help him be capable and confident, and graduation is getting closer. He'd like to become a Biomechanical/Biomedical Engineer, and while his grades and intellect support this, I find big gaps in his common sense and ability to work well with others. He does have an IEP in place, and they will be creating a story board for him to work through that will provide step by step instructions on how to get where he wants to go, that he'll work through until graduation.
__________________
Jeanie, proud WAHM behind ChasingZen on Etsy. Your place for Wool Interlock Longies, Shorties, Soakers, Bloomers and Skirties
Chasing Zen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2013, 06:49 PM   #16
Silver)O(Moon's Avatar
Silver)O(Moon
formerly 4boysMomma
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,343
My Mood:
Re: Window into an Aspie's thought process

Chasing Zen, its so funny, my DS is eligible for his drivers permit and he says the same thing! He's really scared of driving. Or more like intimidated by the idea. Not at all like most kids his ages chompin' at the bit! I want him to get it so he can practice for a long time and get that confidence. Its such a complex task coordinating some skills that are probably not the strongest...I know he can do it but I think it will take time. I do know adults with Aspergers that don't drive and many who say its hard for them. It takes longer for it to be reflexive the way it does for NT people, which makes sense since that is the case with other things in their lives too. They have to be conscious of their actions in a way that is hard for us to comprehend.
__________________
Mom of six boys
DS(18)DS(15) DS(13) DS(5) DS(2) and Baby DS
who are the love of my life and the bane of my existence all wrapped up in one wonderful wacky package.
And wife to my amazing DH who supports me in all I do!
Silver)O(Moon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2013, 09:23 PM   #17
Chasing Zen's Avatar
Chasing Zen
Registered Users
Formerly: ccsmom11
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,169
My Mood:
Re: Window into an Aspie's thought process

Yep, we're already planning on double the amount of professional lessons, and probably twice the amount of behind the wheel with parent practice. I have faith he'll get there though...babysteps Realistically closer to 18 is what I'm aiming for.
__________________
Jeanie, proud WAHM behind ChasingZen on Etsy. Your place for Wool Interlock Longies, Shorties, Soakers, Bloomers and Skirties
Chasing Zen is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.