View Poll Results: Cohabiting before marriage: yay or nay?
Yes. 164 52.56%
No. 112 35.90%
Who cares? Marriage is an outdated institution anyway. 36 11.54%
Voters: 312. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-22-2013, 08:11 PM   #71
bonusround's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 79
Re: Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

Originally Posted by Samandy View Post
Yay. I think living together first is almost always a good idea.


bonusround is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 03:35 PM   #72
Registered Users
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 425
Re: Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

Have you let him know it is something that is important to you and something you expect in the future? I would be blunt and let him know how you feel and then decide. If he knows it is important to you he should honor that.
Jenn135 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-2013, 03:54 PM   #73
TrennaII's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,367
Re: Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

Statistics show that in America, couples who live together before getting married tend to break up, EXCEPT when they are engaged when they move in.

But at this point you're in a very tricky situation: If it's a tit for tat, he can easily agree to marry you so you'll move in, and then never follow through.

What about just telling him, "No thank you, I'm not ready", and leave it at that for now, and don't mention "if we were engaged". I realize it's difficult to face the idea of living on your own with a newborn, when you have the option of having more hands around (I was there once too, it's EXTREMELY difficult). Say, give him the month of February to see what happens if you say no thanks? You could still decide to move in with him in March?
No 2x4 Butt! A non-pad "Pad" fold to put flats in covers and pockets:
TrennaII is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2013, 07:00 PM   #74
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,661
Re: Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

If you don't want to, then don't.

For me, I wouldn't want to marry someone without having lived with them first. It's like a test drive.
JustSomeChickVee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2013, 08:32 AM   #75
mommajewels's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,371
Re: Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

Do what makes you comfortable. No one way is right for every couple, and what's meant to be... will be.

My Dh and I had the odds stacked against us, I guess you could say. Considering the fact I was only 15 when we got together, and I moved in with him (in our own home, he is a few years older than I am.) within a few months. We lived together for 2 years before we decided to get married and start a family. Almost 11 years and 6 children later, we're still going strong and neither of us have ever regretted our decisions.
I'm Julie. I'm a lucky wife to Micheal and a SUPER blessed mama of 5! Jordyn (12.21.04) Preston (4.10.06) Kyson (6.24.07) Gavin (12.18.08) and Londyn. (4.19.10)
Expecting Emersyn Jewel in March 2013!

Last edited by mommajewels; 02-03-2013 at 08:39 AM.
mommajewels is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2013, 02:46 PM   #76
Registered Users
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Dayton, OH
Posts: 41
Re: Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

Originally Posted by beccatown View Post
The statistics for divorce are higher amongst those who co-habitate before marriage compared to those who don't.
I would say that this has more to do with the fact that they aren't sleeping together before marriage, not just co-habitating vs. not co-habitating. I am a conservative Christian who waited until marriage (as did my husband) to sleep together. We didn't even kiss for the first time until we got engaged. He did live with my family for about half a year while sitting out of college for a semester, but he stayed in my brother's room, not mine.

So, basically, in my opinion, if you're already sleeping together, which is evidenced by the fact that you are expecting, then I see no difference with you moving in together. But, if you're having doubts, or doing it just for convenience, or because of the baby, and aren't sure about the long-term, and want some sort of commitment, I definitely agree with others that you shouldn't do it just yet, and that these are things that need to be discussed between the two of you.

Oh, and while it is true that the divorce rate in the church in just as high as those who aren't, I feel that this has more to do with letting distractions/circumstances affect the couple's relationship with Christ and each other. Divorce can sometimes seem like an easy way out compared to truly committing to a relationship with Christ, each other, and the family that you two have become.
As someone else said, sorry if I sound preachy, this is all my opinion.
Dancingham is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2013, 07:31 PM   #77
Registered Users
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Middle of Nowhere Central, IL
Posts: 3,829
My Mood:
I think that living together first is a good idea. I have been married & divorced twice. The first time I cohabitated & felt pressure from everyone b/c of DS. If I had it to do over again I would have just lived with him & never gotten married. The second time I didn't cohabitate & we couldn't be happy living together. SO & I bought a house together 5 yrs ago when I was preggo with DD1 & we are still happy. We have still not gotten married but I finally would. It's not a big deal to me as I know we'll be together either way.

My issues in the past were that I looked at marriage as a way to be with someone forever. That level of commitment can't magically fix problems so I've found for me knowing that someone is always going to be there means more than the piece of paper!
SAH Freelancer Blogging Momma to Andrew 7/30/03, Althea 7/15/08, Huxley 10/13/09, and Adeline 12/5/11. my blogs for lots of reviews and tons of giveaways!
mommyto3beautifulbabes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 01:38 PM   #78
Registered Users
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 140
My Mood:
Re: Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

I think living together is a great idea, you get to know that person better. I got to learn many things from my husband before we got married. But it took us 5 years to decide to get married, and for us since we been together for a while we just decided to get the piece of paper.
viluc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-24-2013, 09:38 AM   #79
zoekate12's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 109
My Mood:
My husband and I lived together for about 3 years before getting married. I think living together helped us to get to know each other. At first, the differences seemed catastrophic but after a while we learned to live abc compromise. We have been married nearly 3 years and it has been pure bliss.
zoekate12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-24-2013, 09:44 AM   #80
MamaNae's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 6,365
My Mood:
Re: Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

If you feel uncomfortable with it for whatever reason DON'T do it.
Renae. Helpmeet to my hottie hubby, Josh. Devoted Mama to my Wolf scout-bookworm-sports-a-holic James (7), my Daisy Scout Princess Aldria (5) and my 2 year old Tornado Emmett and [COLOR="Magenta"] and my tiny squish Cora Paige! (May 2013)

Last edited by MamaNae; 02-24-2013 at 09:47 AM.
MamaNae is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2018 VIX-WomensForum LLC. All Rights Reserved.