Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-06-2013, 11:50 PM   #21
LadyR28's Avatar
LadyR28
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 627
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by alyxmegan
She said I can stay as long as I need. So stressful. I'm just happy I have my baby in my arms
I'm happy that your baby is with you. I'm sure you are a strong woman to be able to handle things you have been doing - working two jobs, taking care of your LO and dealing with SO. But like all the previous posts suggested - leave and make a better life for you & LO without him. He'll just make your life more difficult. The thought of being a single mom is scary but I'd rather be one than to expose my children to a situation your having with your SO. I'm sorry to hear that you feel misjudged but I'm sure that it wasn't intentional. I find it difficult sometimes to understand what people are saying especially if I'm only reading it and not able to hear the other person's tone of voice. I will send prayers your way for you & your child's safety and courage to do the best for both of you. Goodluck!

Advertisement

__________________
"Never regret something that made you smile" - Unknown
LadyR28 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2013, 11:53 PM   #22
Silver)O(Moon's Avatar
Silver)O(Moon
formerly 4boysMomma
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,343
My Mood:
Re: afraid to be a single mom

Call the police and make a report about the incident tonight, if you have not done so already. A police report will help you later when you are determining custody and visitation. He attacked you while you were holding your baby. In many states domestic violence in front of a child is considered child abuse. You want that on record because the scariest thing by far in leaving an abusive man, once you are away and safe, is having your children be with him unsupervised. You want to have all the documentation you need to prevent this. My personal documentation meant nothing to the court. He committed a crime tonight. He needs to be charged.

Also, you should file a protective order. Call your local domestic violence hotline or shelter and they can walk you through the steps. They are also a great resource for helping you get the assistance you need to not go back.

You can do it! I was afraid too. One of the worst things abusive men do is whittle away a woman's self-esteem to the point that she feels like she can't leave, she can't make it on her own. I think its intentional, a way of controlling us. It will take work, but you can break free of his control and begin to build your own life with your child. There are many great things about being a single mom! I actually made a whole list once called "When I am Finally Free". It was all the things I knew I could do once he was gone. It gave me hope and strength to leave, like a silver lining to look forward to.

Make sure you have support. Glad you have your mom, but also look at maybe going to some domestic violence classes or recovery groups. I did a 12 week recovery from abuse class and it was really healing. I followed our group leaders advice and didn't date for 2 years. Once I started, I soon found an amazing man. We are about to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. The security and love and peace I have in my relationship is beyond anything I ever dreamed. Life has wonderful things in store for you. Never doubt it!
__________________
Mom of six boys
DS(18)DS(15) DS(13) DS(5) DS(2) and Baby DS
who are the love of my life and the bane of my existence all wrapped up in one wonderful wacky package.
And wife to my amazing DH who supports me in all I do!
Silver)O(Moon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2013, 10:27 AM   #23
c&w's mama
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,984
Re: afraid to be a single mom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver)O(Moon View Post
Call the police and make a report about the incident tonight, if you have not done so already. A police report will help you later when you are determining custody and visitation. He attacked you while you were holding your baby. In many states domestic violence in front of a child is considered child abuse. You want that on record because the scariest thing by far in leaving an abusive man, once you are away and safe, is having your children be with him unsupervised. You want to have all the documentation you need to prevent this. My personal documentation meant nothing to the court. He committed a crime tonight. He needs to be charged.

Also, you should file a protective order. Call your local domestic violence hotline or shelter and they can walk you through the steps. They are also a great resource for helping you get the assistance you need to not go back.

You can do it! I was afraid too. One of the worst things abusive men do is whittle away a woman's self-esteem to the point that she feels like she can't leave, she can't make it on her own. I think its intentional, a way of controlling us. It will take work, but you can break free of his control and begin to build your own life with your child. There are many great things about being a single mom! I actually made a whole list once called "When I am Finally Free". It was all the things I knew I could do once he was gone. It gave me hope and strength to leave, like a silver lining to look forward to.

Make sure you have support. Glad you have your mom, but also look at maybe going to some domestic violence classes or recovery groups. I did a 12 week recovery from abuse class and it was really healing. I followed our group leaders advice and didn't date for 2 years. Once I started, I soon found an amazing man. We are about to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. The security and love and peace I have in my relationship is beyond anything I ever dreamed. Life has wonderful things in store for you. Never doubt it!
GREAT POST! just had to say.

alyxmegan, hugs and hang in there! You know what's right- trust your instincts.
__________________
a happy mama with
thanks DH
Will almost always trade for yarn (vanilla. peppermint.)
c&w's mama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2013, 08:16 AM   #24
GreyMum's Avatar
GreyMum
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,077
My Mood:
Re: afraid to be a single mom

Quote:
Originally Posted by alyxmegan View Post
She said I can stay as long as I need. So stressful. I'm just happy I have my baby in my arms
How are you doing today?
GreyMum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2013, 04:32 PM   #25
TypeAMom's Avatar
TypeAMom
Registered Users
Formerly: Di**ae
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,394
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver)O(Moon
Call the police and make a report about the incident tonight, if you have not done so already. A police report will help you later when you are determining custody and visitation. He attacked you while you were holding your baby. In many states domestic violence in front of a child is considered child abuse. You want that on record because the scariest thing by far in leaving an abusive man, once you are away and safe, is having your children be with him unsupervised.

Also, you should file a protective order. Call your local domestic violence hotline or shelter and they can walk you through the steps. They are also a great resource for helping you get the assistance you need to not go back.
I also agree this is a great post. Please don't go back to him. Safety isn't something you should have most of the time, it's something you need all of the time. BTW, I'd be scared to leave, too. The unknown can be terrifying, but it's got to be better than the current situation, right? Going to a new daycare (please look into assistance if you need to) and living elsewhere will be better than your LO being with your SO while you are at work.
__________________
Wife to my
Mom to my
Stepmom to my
Slave to my

Last edited by TypeAMom; 08-08-2013 at 04:35 PM.
TypeAMom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2013, 08:48 AM   #26
Alesmom's Avatar
Alesmom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 260
Re: afraid to be a single mom

Lots of great advice here it seems. i have never been in your situation so I will not pretend to know what you are going through or give you advice that might be easier said than done.

But here's a general life quote from a woman wiser than i!

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Alesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2013, 09:04 AM   #27
MDever
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,873
My Mood:
Re: afraid to be a single mom

Just checking in to see how you are doing? Hoping you and your sweet baby are happy and safe.
__________________
Just in case.
MDever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2013, 02:22 PM   #28
alyxmegan's Avatar
alyxmegan
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: new mexico
Posts: 1,205
My Mood:
Im doing ok. I feel like i lost my independence and its really eating at me. But im ok. Thanks for caring
alyxmegan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2013, 02:27 PM   #29
qsefthuko's Avatar
qsefthuko
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 18,668
Re: afraid to be a single mom

It takes time and as I am sure you are well aware a lot of hard work but eventually you will be happier than if you had stayed in the abusive situation. Your baby will be happier as well.
qsefthuko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2013, 02:34 PM   #30
EmmaGM's Avatar
EmmaGM
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 7,895
My Mood:
stay strong mama! I agree with pp, you've already been a single mother and now you're just shedding dead weight.
__________________
Emma H&T Mama to Faolan 6/7/12 & Malachy 1/29/14
Mary born into heaven at 14 weeks
Cautiously expecting #4 10/6/16
EmmaGM is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright © 2005 - 2018 VIX-WomensForum LLC. All Rights Reserved.