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Old 01-12-2010, 06:56 PM   #1
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Rooming-in

E-mom had a drs appt today, she's 32w5d. I went with her to the dr, as I have all the other appts. Today they did this really long questionaire that asked all sorts of questions. One of the questions was about after the birth and whether she wanted to room-in with the baby. She said that yes, she would like to room-in with the baby. She does want me and DH in the delivery room and wants us to stay with the baby and her in the hosptial. I'm just a little surprised is all, I didn't expect her to want to room-in but I can understand wanting to get to know her daughter. Any support would be great right now.

Jill

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Old 01-12-2010, 09:09 PM   #2
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Our daughter's birthmom did the whole room-in experience when DD was born. She changed all the diapers, did the feedings, etc. It was a great time for A to say hello/goodbye to her little girl. We visited like other family/friends did. We would stay for an hour or so and then leave because we had "lots to get ready for" or some other lame excuse. Bmom wanted us there, but wanted her time too. KWIM?

It's tough ... it's mom's time, but it's soooo hard for because you want to be there too. Sorry, no great advice. The hospital experience was very stressing for us even though everything went as planned. Driving away from the hospital with another woman's baby is the absolute most difficult thing I have ever experienced.

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Old 01-13-2010, 05:22 PM   #3
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Congrats for the baby on the way-I am sure its going to be tough- I have a biological daughter and am wanting to adopt-Im sure as pp stated that bmom will want some time to say hello and good bye to her baby and its great that she wants you and your husband to be so involved! I really don't have any advice for you,as I've never been in the situation, but I will be sending some prayers your way-I hope it all goes smoothly and as planned!
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:54 PM   #4
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Re: Rooming-in

Thank you both for the support. I just feel like the whole process has gone too smoothly so far, it's time for the other shoe to drop, kwim?

I'm afraid I will be blinded by my longing for the baby that I will miss any red flags. In WV, where we are from, the mom has 72 hours before she can sign the papers and I know that will be the longest 72hrs of my life. She also says she is only planning to stay in the hospital for 24hrs after the birth and then she's leaving with our without medical approval. No one seems to be able to tell us what will happen with the baby then--if baby can come home with us or will have to stay in hosp til the papers are signed.

Anyway, anyone else care to share their experience with the hospital, delivery, etc during adoption?

Jill
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Old 01-13-2010, 08:06 PM   #5
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NJ is 72 hours also. My son's birthmom first contacted the agency the morning he was born. She left the hospital within 24 hours leaving the baby behind. I was able to bring him home at 48 hours with the understanding that until she signed the papers after 72 hours I was only "babysitting" him as the agency said she did sign the papers just after the 72 hours though. Not sure if you are going thru an agency or private... perhaps try to contact the hospital social worker and see what her thoughts or views on this are.
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:46 AM   #6
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Re: Rooming-in

I know this will be hard, but you can do it!!! I don't see it as a red flag, but an emom who needs it for closure. Good luck!!!!!!
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:46 AM   #7
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Re: Rooming-in

Well, my son not only roomed-in with his mother, he also went home with his birthfamily and we picked him up on the 5th day! It was hard for me to know he wasn't with me, but it was an amazing time for him to share with his birthfamily. There were very special bonds created during that time.

Mama, I know it is hard - you just want to hold that little one tight and never let go! I really feel for you. But you will get all the time in the world to do that when your baby comes home with you. It is so wonderful that this child's mother wants to spend that time getting to know them. As a PP said - she needs to say hello before she can say see ya later - I don't like using good-bye here. You will be able to tell your child of the time their birthmother spent caring for them and showing them all their love. That is a beautiful gift for your child.

If you are a praying mama... spend that hospital time praying and putting it in His hands. He will take care of all and you will feel much more peace to enjoy the beauty of this child's arrivial!
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:22 PM   #8
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Re: Rooming-in

Thank you all so much.

A special thank you to ALovelyStart--your post made me cry. I never thought of it quite that way--I'm sure she will love to know that her mom was able to hold her and care for her during her first day(s). And I am sure that during those days I will be talking to God quite a bit, and probably bending the ear of anyone on here that will listen, lol!
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