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Old 08-25-2010, 01:08 PM   #1
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Help! Toddler is driving me NUTS!

I'm going to go crazy here! My son - whom I love dearly, and think is way too smart for his own good - is driving me and my mom to our wit's end! We watch the next-door neighbor's little girl who is the same age and they are totally feeding off each other. I have been trying in my very scarce free time to find new ideas for how to handle them, but I am just not having much luck. I try to be positive, give them plenty of attention, praise when they are being good, etc. Yet inevitably it seems to fall back to telling them "No!" putting them in time-out or the like. It is not working. I don't think they are taking us seriously anymore!

This drives me crazy because I always follow through with things it's just what can I do when they purposefully spill milk and then splash it after getting something they want (like a couple chocolate chips for finishing their lunch without a mess). My son is a terror for putting down for his nap. Again, I've tried turning to the books and The No-cry Sleep Solution has some good ideas but they just aren't working with him. He's in a toddler bed because he was climbing everything and we didn't want him to possibly get hurt climbing out of his crib.

My poor mom, who typically watches them while I go to school, is also going crazy. Her patience with them is shot. It's just not any fun with them anymore. It's not supposed to be like this!!!!

I understand toddlers will push limits and all that but this is just getting ridiculous. It is like they feed off each other. One will do something, be told not to, and then the other will start. Most of it is just little stuff that isn't time-out worthy, but it could still get someone hurt, sick, break something, etc. When they aren't bouncing misbehavior off one another they are very competitive and always want the other kid's toy, to be held by the same person, etc. Oh, and they are both almost 2 years old. My son does seem to behave better when she isn't around. However, I'm pregnant with my second child, so we really need to get this nipped in the bud. I don't want to have to face it again with a newborn!

I need some good ideas for how to handle this. I read The Happiest Toddler on the Block, but they aren't really throwing tantrums. It is more just disobeying: throwing things, not listening, climbing, purposefully dumping beverages, not staying in bed for nap (even if I stay in to sing, read, etc. to calm them down), etc. Please throw out whatever good ideas you have. I'm just tired of being mad at my son for his choices which seem designed to make me and my mom (the primary daycare watcher) mad.

Thanks for any help and for letting me vent!


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Old 08-25-2010, 01:23 PM   #2
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Re: Help! Toddler is driving me NUTS!

I feel you. DS2 is almost 3yrs old, and I deal with this stuff too.. and you're right.. it's worse when there is another one around because they DO feed off of each other.

For the milk spilling.... I would stop giving them open-topped cups, and switch to a cup that has a pop up straw. It has the seal like a sippy cup, but it's a straw instead of a nub, and the lid screws on so there's no mess if it's dropped.

There are times when DS2 starts a temper tantrum, and I just ignore it. I figure if he's doing it for attention, or to try to get his way, the best thing I can do is ignore it, and he then calms down when he figures out it's not working.

I know it's tough now, but it will pass. I have a 5 yr old who used to do the same things, and he did grow out of that phase.

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Old 08-25-2010, 01:53 PM   #3
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Re: Help! Toddler is driving me NUTS!

My ODS (who is going to be 2 on Friday) behaves the SAME way! Have you tried seperating them in timeouts?! Don't be nice, don't give warnings just do it! Generally I would say give 1 warning, but sometimes they need to know you mean it! So then when they have the hang of what time out means you can say "do it again and you get timeout!"

If it's too much have you considered not watching the little girl for awhile at all until after the babies born and you have a less chaotic lifestyle?! KWIM? That's going to be a big change for him and he MIGHT only act out more so.
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Last edited by Crew&West; 08-25-2010 at 01:55 PM.
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