Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-20-2010, 06:46 PM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 8,155
People's Reactions to the big news

We were going to keep it to ourselves for a while but I caved and told a few people. Now I wish I hadn't.

SIL and a 2 friends of mine were happy.

MIL and Dad's first words were "Oh no." I mean...really? I know we have been through heck and you don't understand our desire for more children, but it is what we want.

I'm too scared to tell my Mom. I already know what she will say. She has made her opinions of my having a second child very clear. I just mentioned to another friend that we want another one and she said "but not right now, right?" because she is worried about our financial circumstances. We are just fine, tyvm. Juts because I don't run out to the movies or to go shopping or go out and eat whenever... At least Mom, Dad and MIL have my health and happiness in mind. I understand their concerns. But doctors say it'll be fine. I believe them. So can people please just be happy for us?

Anyone else get negative reactions?


Angel89411 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2010, 07:45 PM   #2
meganne79's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,178
Re: People's Reactions to the big news

It really stinks when people are not happy for your joyous news! I was fine this time but with YDD, we definitely got some strong reactions. My parents and sister were very concerned because I almost did not survive ODD's birth. They did not understand why on earth I would want to do it again. BIL and SIL who are our best friends were completely unsupportive, even going so far as to say "we just can support you in this right now." YDD was a complete surprise and they were struggling with 5 years of infertility. I understood where my parents and sister were coming from (concern for health and wellbeing like it sounds like yours are) but still have really upset feelings about BIL and SIL's reaction if I think about it.

I'm so sorry you did not get the support you wanted. The good news is I bet they will come around, at least your family, and you two are happy which is what matters the most!

RN/CNM Student/SAHM to Maggie 03-23-06,
Nora 04-06-09, and Ben 05-03-11
meganne79 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2010, 07:59 PM   #3
greek4's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 3,408
My Mood:
Re: People's Reactions to the big news

My Dad has a habit of opening his mouth before thinking.

DS1: We were not married nor living in the same state at the time. My Dad just got silent on the phone and said 'Here talk to your Stepmother'.

DS2: We had finally gotten married a couple weeks before and DH had just started a new job and we were both finally living in the same place. My Dad said 'Can you guys afford that?' Um, Dad it's a little too late now but yes we are both working adults.

This one: I sent him a text telling him that I was pregnant and to call me when he had thought of something appropriate to say. He called a couple minutes later laughing and said 'Congratulations, how does Drew (DS) feel about that?'

My poor Dad is the nicest person you will ever meet and a great Christian but he has no filter on his mouth.
Emily....Proud wife of Drew, mother to Kole (8/07), Chase (7/09), Ansley (4/11), and Avery and Camden (10/13)
greek4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2010, 08:03 PM   #4
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 7,297
My Mood:
Re: People's Reactions to the big news

I just don't understand people being so negative and sometimes downright MEAN about it

I mean, if I had a friend that was on crack and didn't give a crap about the 5 kids she already had, I would probably not be happy for her. But what is so wrong with happily married (or otherwise committed) couples having a baby if they want one and can support it?

And what the heck is the big deal about you having #2? I know a lot of the moms who have 4...5...6 kids get some interesting responses But #2? Seriously?
USMCgirl_05 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2010, 08:20 PM   #5
hikergal73's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 1,007
My Mood:
Re: People's Reactions to the big news

My dad's reaction with DD and with this one was the same... he just said "oh dear". I think it was more of reflective of his little girl (his 37 year old little girl - lol) growing up than a negative reaction.
Mary, wife to the Big Z (11/08/08)
Mom to the little girl Z (9/30/09) and little boy Z (6/24/11)
hikergal73 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2010, 09:55 PM   #6
arihillfarm's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern Ohio
Posts: 513
My Mood:
Re: People's Reactions to the big news

My mother is very much an open mouth, insert foot type of person. With #2 she said a hesitant congratulations (#1 and #2 are 7 1/2 years apart) and when we announced #3 (planned of course and planned to be about 3 years younger than #2), we got "I hope you all are finished now. There are enough people on this planet already using up all of the resources. How will you ever afford college for 3 kids?" all the way down to suggesting DH get a vasectomy, which we had talked about, but it's really none of her business. We're late 30's/early 40's, have been married 10+ years with a good stable income; we're certainly not irresponsible kids.

The kicker to all of this? My mother is the THIRD child. She was unplanned but still... I was so blown away by her comments that even I, with my normally quick, sharp wit couldn't come up with anything at the time as a rebuttal. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor, the irony was so overwhelming.

WAHM to DD 13, DS 6 and DS 3 and I'm a Magic Maker with Off to Neverland Travel, specializing in Disney! Ask me about how to get the vacation of your dreams (Disney or elsewhere) for the best price and service possible at no extra cost to you. "Like" my agency page on Facebook for the latest travel specials!
arihillfarm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2010, 10:44 PM   #7
My Sweet Blessings's Avatar
My Sweet Blessings
Registered Users
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Southern Louisiana
Posts: 10,045
Re: People's Reactions to the big news

I completely understand, unfortunately. We are expecting #3 and I was downright terrified with telling DH's side of the family. I dreaded and just wished we could have shown up with a baby one day. With my mom, I KNEW she would be thrilled. She sees every baby as a blessing as I do even if the timing isn't right or we aren't rich or what have you. She couldn't be more thrilled to have another grandbaby. SO, we told her right away. We didn't tell everyone else til I was 12 weeks along and couldn't hide it anymore. While I know they wouldn't be thrilled and there was sure to be negative comments, I think this baby is a blessing and wanted to announce it in a special way. We did it at DS2's birthday party and we had Grandma reading the cards while DH and I took pictures. We signed our card "Love, Dad, Mom, A, and Baby" There were plenty of "what?!" looks and a couple of comments that I didn't quite catch as so many people were talking. I know my FIL said something not so nice, but again I didn't quite catch it. I was expecting that from him. My MIL just didn't say anything and the other Grandma (the REALLY negative one) just kinda said "well..." or something like that and left it at that. I know that noone was exactly thrilled about it. THe negative grandma had just heard that my SIL was pregnant not 5 minutes before. She was like "Oh, congratulations!" and so forth. I got nothing but "well... " and a look. It was pretty much the same reaction from all of his side "hip hip horay for my SIL and "oh" for me". I know the reason and it's because we are on #3 and live with a tight budget to allow me to be a SAHM and SIL is on #2 and both her and her DH work full time out of the home to afford the finer things in life. They think 2 kids is more than enough and don't get WHY we prefer to have me be a SAHM as opposed to put the kids in daycare so I can work full time. I think with people who have a negative view are just closed minded and can't grip that what works for them may not work for others. They don't know how to just step back and realize it's not THEIR life and they have no say so in. You just have to let the negative comments roll off your back and chalk it up as to them being ignorant to the way others do things.
Join Citrus Lane for a surprise box every month, cancel any time. First month $15
Join Swagbucks and earn free gift cards!
Check out 10DollarMall where everything is under $10 .. clothes, shoes, handbags, etc!
My Sweet Blessings is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2010, 07:36 AM   #8
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 8,155
Re: People's Reactions to the big news

Oh, I forgot. One friend who was happy asked if we were done now. At 2?! Really??? I could see if this was 5 or 6, though it'd still be no one's business.

Glad to know I am not alone. I was just on the baby high and they totally put a damper on it!
Angel89411 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2010, 08:10 AM   #9
angelbabybailey's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 1,163
My Mood:
Re: People's Reactions to the big news

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have 5 little girls and I am a full time student. This #6 pregnancy was a shock to Dh and me as we were using BC, however we know that every baby is a blessing and we were accepting of it.

However thinking of telling everyone was scary. I knew we would hear endless remarks from everyone. I decidied I would just post it on facebook for everyone so they could say whatever and not to my face and then if I didnt like their response I could delete there comments. I got a few rude remarks since then from friends and family but nothing that made me blow my top.

We got:
are you guys done yet?
still trying for that boy?
So are you going to drop college now?
You guys got to do something about this! (Vasectomy or me getting fixed)
You guys are just plain nuts!
Is there a alternative? (abortion/adoption) When I found out I cried but that didnt mean I wasnt going to keep the child.

People open their mouths and say the stupidest things..
Rachael Mommy to: Savannah 10. Brooke 9 Ava 7.
Taylor 5, Kira 3 , Zoey July 2011
and Bailey (in my heart but god's arms)
angelbabybailey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2010, 10:20 AM   #10
miraclebaby's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,030
Re: People's Reactions to the big news

People should mind their own business.
My MIL said "how could you do this to me"....
oh, right
my pregnancy must be very uncomfortable for you.
Stephanie (28) Joseph (26)
DD Isabella Grace (8) DSS Zander William (6)
Jacob William (1) March 2013

Join me swagging
miraclebaby is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2018 VIX-WomensForum LLC. All Rights Reserved.