Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-07-2008, 12:31 PM   #1
myfrugalfunlife
Banned- member requested
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: West Michigan
Posts: 16,918
Red face Going back and forth on my dh getting a V.

We have a 3 yr old dd (will be 4 in September), a 24 month old dd (will be 2 on the 22nd) and a 7 week old boy. We've always talked about having 4 or 5 kids but during my last pregnancy, we talked about being done-reasons being, no money and I really am a biotch while pregnant (very grumpy, horrible vericose veins everywhere etc). So my dh went to his Dr. last week to get a rash treated and came home and told me he'd made an appointment to get a vasectomy At first I was really happy (had most of these happy thoughts while pacing my house at 2am with my son who won't sleep at night ), but now that the date is approaching for the procedure (the 25th), I'm starting to get cold feet, and so is my dh-I'm 99% sure I'm done having kids and want to enjoy the three I have.......but.......there's that tiny little voice in the back of my head saying one more- Anyone else go back and forth on this? Its such a huge decision-I really want to get my vericose veins taken care of and I can't do that until we're done with kids but that sounds so selfish to not want more children so I can get my legs fixed kwim sara

Advertisement

myfrugalfunlife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2008, 12:46 PM   #2
GraceDancer's Avatar
GraceDancer
when Grace dances, I should dance
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 875
My Mood:
Re: Going back and forth on my dh getting a V.

Well... my DH had a reversal after 10yrs because we decided we shouldn't have made a permanent decision. I know this is a toughie. Be very sure - that little voice may be an important voice. Our lives would be so different without our 3 little boys - luv 'em to death!!!

__________________
RONNIE
Soft wool for your Wee One Here at DS or at
GraceDancer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2008, 01:25 PM   #3
myfrugalfunlife
Banned- member requested
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: West Michigan
Posts: 16,918
Re: Going back and forth on my dh getting a V.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceDancer View Post
Well... my DH had a reversal after 10yrs because we decided we shouldn't have made a permanent decision. I know this is a toughie. Be very sure - that little voice may be an important voice. Our lives would be so different without our 3 little boys - luv 'em to death!!!

thanks-right now I'm sooo done with the baby thing (having 3 ages three and under is kicking my butt!) but, I wonder if 2-3 years down the road I'll want another one.....sara
myfrugalfunlife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2008, 02:17 PM   #4
GraceDancer's Avatar
GraceDancer
when Grace dances, I should dance
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 875
My Mood:
Re: Going back and forth on my dh getting a V.

I understand - my older 4 are 2 sets of 13monthers with a year in between the sets.

Looking back, there are some things that I would recommend... 1. wait until you don't have a baby (diapers and bottles) to decide - that really does take a lot of energy while in the middle of it, but isn't a concern in a short amount of time - feels like an eternity, but really isn't. 2. See if you can find a "mother's helper" for a few hours each week - a young girl who can help with household cleaning or babysitting for some relief. It is a whole different world with my older kiddos now helping! If you don't know of anyone, you could call the local high school to see if there's someone they'd recommend.

I think that's why years ago it was common to have extended relatives around all the time - great help.

It can be so hard in the middle of busy babies to think that it will ever end - now that my oldest is 20!! I can't believe where the time went - I know we've all heard that before - now I can actually see it.

Praying that you find answers and contentment wherever you go!
__________________
RONNIE
Soft wool for your Wee One Here at DS or at
GraceDancer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2008, 03:14 PM   #5
myfrugalfunlife
Banned- member requested
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: West Michigan
Posts: 16,918
Re: Going back and forth on my dh getting a V.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceDancer View Post
I understand - my older 4 are 2 sets of 13monthers with a year in between the sets.

Looking back, there are some things that I would recommend... 1. wait until you don't have a baby (diapers and bottles) to decide - that really does take a lot of energy while in the middle of it, but isn't a concern in a short amount of time - feels like an eternity, but really isn't. 2. See if you can find a "mother's helper" for a few hours each week - a young girl who can help with household cleaning or babysitting for some relief. It is a whole different world with my older kiddos now helping! If you don't know of anyone, you could call the local high school to see if there's someone they'd recommend.

I think that's why years ago it was common to have extended relatives around all the time - great help.

It can be so hard in the middle of busy babies to think that it will ever end - now that my oldest is 20!! I can't believe where the time went - I know we've all heard that before - now I can actually see it.

Praying that you find answers and contentment wherever you go!
thanks for the input, i think that I'm torn right now because in my head I am so done but in my heart, there's room for more-I will have to talk to my dh again-I know he would like more but finances are a big concern for him. sara
myfrugalfunlife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2008, 05:06 PM   #6
Psychomom's Avatar
Psychomom
Formerly: Boomer
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 8,760
My Mood:
Re: Going back and forth on my dh getting a V.

My thought is----if you have even just a tiny, inkling of a doubt, don't do the procedure. My dh had it done (while I was pregnant with #4) and we were both very serious and had ZERO doubts ever.

I will say, though, that he was supposed to have this done after #3 was born but didn't. If he hadn't, we wouldn't have been blessed with our Asher and we are incredibly happy he's in our lives. We wouldn't change that for the world. I know we would feel the same had we had a baby #5 and a baby #6. We would have always felt that way, but we knew it was time for us to stop. We do adore babies but we are so looking forward to the next stage.
__________________
A real woman always has a clean house, an empty laundry basket, smells good, is well made-up, slim, healthy, eloquent, and perfectly well behaved...I suspect I am a man.
Psychomom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2008, 05:09 PM   #7
~sarah~
Banned
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Mid-Willamette Valley, Oregon
Posts: 5,414
My Mood:
Re: Going back and forth on my dh getting a V.

I'm against it. My DH had a vasectomy before we got married since he didn't want more kids with his ex-wife. He had a reversal when we decided to have a baby, but it didn't work. We TTC for over 3 yrs before finally conceiving using donor sperm. So, I'm not a vasectomy advocate! But that's just my personal experience.
~sarah~ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2008, 06:51 PM   #8
LuAnn
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Southern IL-near STL
Posts: 5,408
My Mood:
Re: Going back and forth on my dh getting a V.

IMO if theres any doubt, dont get it done
__________________
mom to 2 boys 2005 and 2007
LuAnn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2008, 06:56 PM   #9
amphibology29's Avatar
amphibology29
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 4,662
Re: Going back and forth on my dh getting a V.

I'd wait. Some have good success with reversal, but some don't. It's not worth the risk of not being successful, in my opinion, if you're both not 100% sure. Would an IUD work for you? That's another long-term option that would be easy to undo if you change your minds.
__________________
Nani + Levi = Nikko 5/14/04, Sakura 8/20/08 & Verran 9/21/10
amphibology29 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2008, 07:14 PM   #10
myfrugalfunlife
Banned- member requested
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: West Michigan
Posts: 16,918
Re: Going back and forth on my dh getting a V.

thanks for all the input-we talked about it tonight and my dh said if I had any doubt at all, we'd wait on the procedure so I think he's going to cancel the appointment-I definately need a baby break so if we do decide to have another one, I want my nb to be at least 3 yrs old so I think we'll wait till then then decide, right now I'm still leaning towards being finished but since I'm questioning it even a little bit, its probably a good thing to just take a break from babies and then in a few years reevaluate our family situation sara
myfrugalfunlife is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2018 VIX-WomensForum LLC. All Rights Reserved.