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Old 01-24-2011, 10:47 AM   #1
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I'm losing my support system

Through my whole pregnancy I was letting people know I was determined to make breastfeeding work. After explaining everything to everyone, taking my mom with to my prenatal classes to help back me up, and laying out all the benefits for DH, everyone was on board and real supportive of my decision. The first week or so everyone was so happy to see everything going so well, and that I was able to pump as well and start freezing milk. The past 4 or 5 days now Gabe has been wanting to nurse almost constantly. My nurse explained that it's just a feeding frenzy, that he's growing and is trying to get my body to produce more milk. Also, since he refuses to take a pacifier, my nurse says he may not be wanting to nurse all that time, he may just be using me as a pacifier. DH has noticed that he wants "me" all the time now and apparently has been discussing it with my family, and everyone is against me nursing Gabe now. I was told this morning by DH and my mom that I'm allows to pump if I want to, but he should only be having bottles from now on because they feel he obviously isn't getting enough from me, and since you can't gauge what he eats when nursing, the only solution to this so-called "problem" is only feeding him with bottles.
What do I do? I'm now doubting my abilities, and am starting to feel like a failure to my newborn son. I sat in bed nursing him after DH gave him a bottle this morning (that he kept spitting out) and just crying because everyone is against me, and I don't know what's right anymore.

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Old 01-24-2011, 10:52 AM   #2
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Re: I'm losing my support system

Just keep nursing! Its definitely a growth spurt! My little man nursed all day, seriously like every hour, during his growth spurts. And if he is happily nursing, and peeing and pooping, then he is getting enough. My DH was concerned he wasn't getting enough as well, and when ds kept spitting out the bottle he didn't really have a choice but to let me nurse him. And I totally felt like a human pacifier. And you might be his pacifier at this point, but at 3 weeks old, now is not the time to worry about that.

Keep at it mama! The more you nurse, the more you will make, and will have enough for him!
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Old 01-24-2011, 10:56 AM   #3
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Re: I'm losing my support system

I am sooo sorry you are going through this
Do not give baby ANY bottles this early. As long as he is having wet dipes and poos he is fine. Newborns nurse non stop in the beginning. It is TOTALLY normal. You need to stand up to your DH and mom and try to educate them on normal nursing behavior. When babies have growth spurts they nurse more so you make more milk. You are doing the BEST for you babe! Keep it up
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Old 01-24-2011, 10:56 AM   #4
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Re: I'm losing my support system

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMama13 View Post
Through my whole pregnancy I was letting people know I was determined to make breastfeeding work. After explaining everything to everyone, taking my mom with to my prenatal classes to help back me up, and laying out all the benefits for DH, everyone was on board and real supportive of my decision. The first week or so everyone was so happy to see everything going so well, and that I was able to pump as well and start freezing milk. The past 4 or 5 days now Gabe has been wanting to nurse almost constantly. My nurse explained that it's just a feeding frenzy, that he's growing and is trying to get my body to produce more milk. Also, since he refuses to take a pacifier, my nurse says he may not be wanting to nurse all that time, he may just be using me as a pacifier. DH has noticed that he wants "me" all the time now and apparently has been discussing it with my family, and everyone is against me nursing Gabe now. I was told this morning by DH and my mom that I'm allows to pump if I want to, but he should only be having bottles from now on because they feel he obviously isn't getting enough from me, and since you can't gauge what he eats when nursing, the only solution to this so-called "problem" is only feeding him with bottles.
What do I do? I'm now doubting my abilities, and am starting to feel like a failure to my newborn son. I sat in bed nursing him after DH gave him a bottle
this morning (that he kept spitting out) and just crying because everyone is against me, and I don't know what's right anymore.

None of this would fly at my house....They cannot tell you how to feed you baby. That is your decision as his mom. The first 4-6 weeks are tough, but it gets better. My DS is almost 9 months old. I nursed him constantly that first 4-6 weeks. He wasn't gaining as "they" said he should and I was told to supplement. I refused b/c his wet and poopie diapers were fine. How are your lo's wet and poopies? At least 6 wet and 1 poopie a day is normal (I think). My DS caught up at around 7 weeks and has been fine since. And my 9 month old is a mamas boy. He doesn't want daddy, grandma or anyone but me when we are together. I work out of the home and still pump for him, but when we are together he still eats ever 1.5-2 hours for about 5 mins at a time.

My advice to you is tell everyone to be supportive of your decision or shut up and no one is allowed to give your baby a bottle again until it is deemed necessary by a medical professional (meaning baby is losing too much weight or doesn't have enough wet and poopie diapers.

I'm sorry if this came off harsh. I'm wanting to support you but it really bothers me when people who did not birth a baby and aren't lactating try to tell a mama how to feed her child.
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Old 01-24-2011, 10:57 AM   #5
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Re: I'm losing my support system

he's only 2 weeks old, he's growing at a phenominal rate, trying to help your body know how much to produce and still wants his mommy because after spending 9 months INSIDE you, he wants to be as close as possible. It's not fair of them to be doing this to you. When DD was that little she was nursing for only 10 minutes, every hour, slowly as my milk adjusted to her the time between got longer.
You should be going in for a weight check soon, no? That will be a good way to know he's getting enough. if he's not loosing, or gaining it means he's getting enough and trying to boost your supply. I totally agree with your nurse about using you as a paci, but that also helps your supply in the end as well.
Have you talked to your DH about how important this is to you, esp now since Gabe is here? I've never delt with this subject with my DH really. I said I'm breastfeeding, and he said okay and supported me when I felt low or about to quit.
I'm sorry you're loosing support, but I would talk to your DH or maybe even your mom about how you feel and what you feel is best for your baby. I can sense that they're a bit jealous that you're still the main person Gabe wants, but from my expereince (myself and friends) that realtionship doesn't fade easy, bottles or not
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Old 01-24-2011, 11:03 AM   #6
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Re: I'm losing my support system

keep nurse, don't give any bottles. Your family cannot make this decision for you. DO what you know is right.
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Old 01-24-2011, 11:12 AM   #7
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Re: I'm losing my support system

stop pumping. there is NO need in the newborn stage unless you are returning to work. cut the bottles.your baby was with YOU for 9 months, its only natural he still only wants you. you have everything he needs. dont give up. while he is 'using you as a pacifier' he is signaling your breasts to make more milk. newborns nurse all. the. time. it will get better i promise. is he having enough wet/poops? and gaining? then rest assured he IS getting enough. gl and hugs mama
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Old 01-24-2011, 11:13 AM   #8
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Re: I'm losing my support system

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMama13 View Post
was told this morning by DH and my mom that I'm allows to pump if I want to, but he should only be having bottles from now on
OP, you are the boss of you! How dare anyone suggest that they can "allow" you to pump or nurse at the breast.

The fact that they don't know how to gauge how much a breastfed baby is eating means that they have some reading to do - not that you need to give bottles. If there is some kind of weight gain concern you can also make an appointment with an IBCLC who does pre and post-feed weights.
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Old 01-24-2011, 11:52 AM   #9
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Re: I'm losing my support system

As I'm sure you've gathered from the other replies posted, you baby wanting to nurse all the time at this young of an age is completely normal. Your baby should want you and the comfort of mama milk. He's just left the only environment he's ever known (your womb) & is thrust into a whole new world. He needs comfort and lots of attention. It's all normal. Keep pressing on, it'll be worth it in the long haul. You could try to use a pacifer when he cries at first but if he keeps spitting it out and isn't interested, then nurse him. You certainly don't have to use a paci - some people are completely against them - but they can help sometimes if the baby will take them. It's obviously up to you & whether you do or don't is not a reflection on whether you are a good enough mom or not. Sounds like you are doing well in wanting the best for baby.
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Old 01-24-2011, 11:52 AM   #10
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Re: I'm losing my support system

i have had similar issues with dh and the inlaws....all of my children were born rather large and then gained *really* slow or in the case of my youngest 2 lost a bit of weight at first. with ds1 and dd1 i just put my foot down and said only bf. with the second 2 i was working with the drs and they both didn't get back up to there birth weight until about 2 months(but they weren't losing other than the initial loss).

Especially if he isn't loosing weight, I would just tell them to buzz off...

And yes, they do nurse *all*the*time* as a newborn.

BTW, ds1 was either *always* nursing or screaming until he was well over a year. He was not hungry but had sensory issues that we found out about later. They(the inlaws) assumed I was starving him...
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