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Old 10-01-2008, 01:11 AM   #1
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Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette Question

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Old 10-01-2008, 06:10 AM   #2
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Re: Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette Question

First I'm so sorry for you loss.

Second, I think you should tell people how and when YOU feel is best. I am currently 8+ wks pg with our 5th child and we've only told a handful of people because the news will not go over well with anyone. What they will say obviously didn't stop us from living our lives the way we feel is right, but the sting of their nastiness just isn't something I feel I want to deal with right away, kwim?

You can't control what others will say/think/do with your news, you can only prepare yourself and do what YOU feel is right. If I were you, I'd wait a little while, maybe once you're showing and they ask you. (that's my current plan ).

I hope this is your month mama!
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Old 10-01-2008, 06:55 AM   #3
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Re: Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette Question

Mama, I agree with PP, tell when you feel it's best. Maybe wait a little while as to not "steal SIL's thunder."

As for the m/c thing, we've had 5 and with this pregnancy I had really made up my mind that we weren't going to tell ANYONE until after the first trimester. Then around 5.5 weeks dh and I decided that we wanted to tell immediate family - we felt that we could use their direct prayers and support, it was definitely the right decision for us this time around. We've not really told anyone else, just a few friends locally, we'll be waiting until it's obvious to tell everyone else.

Just really go with how you feel.
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Old 10-01-2008, 07:04 AM   #4
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Re: Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette Question

If you're nervous about another m/c (I've been there), why not delay until you're around 12 weeks and past the most dangerous time? That way you won't have stolen your SIL's thunder, and you'll be feeling more confident about the viability of your little one.

When I got pregnant after my m/c (with our son who is NEARLY here), I DID tell my folks, my sister, my in-laws and a few select friends, but I kept from having the BIG family announcement until we had passed the 12 week mark. I was able to send out a bulk email announcement with a sonogram image, and for the family without internet I sent photocopies of the same. It went over really well.

I have a suggestion for YOUR peace of mind: consider asking your OB/GYN or midwife's office if they would be willing to do blood work and/or a viability ultrasound early for you. I had my blood work about a week earlier than normal with this pregnancy, and they found my progesterone levels were low. I was able to be on supplements (vaginal suppositories) until 12 weeks when my placenta started supplying enough progesterone on its own. That might have prevented another miscarriage. And they also, after prescribing the progesterone, scheduled an early u/s (around 7.5 weeks) and it was SUCH a relief to see a vigorous heartbeat! It gave us some much-needed peace of mind after the tragedy of losing the other baby (we had lost him or her in late October and found out I was preggo again in early February).
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Old 10-01-2008, 07:13 AM   #5
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Re: Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette Question

Sounds very similar to our situation. I had 3 mc's before conceiving... SIL conceived her fifth child, my god daughter, 1.5 mos before we conceived our dd...It is very tough. We waited until I had gone to the midwife and they did an early ultrasound and bloodwork to figure out the cause, etc.. We announced our pregnancy around 6 weeks about a month after SIL did. But anyway, I'd wait for the sake of an early MC, but I wouldn't worry about stealing anyone's thunder. It's just not necessary. Goodluck!
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Old 10-01-2008, 07:32 AM   #6
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Re: Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette Question

I'd wait until you're comfortable more than stealing anyone's thunder. Every baby is a precious gift so I don't worry about that.
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Old 10-01-2008, 09:18 AM   #7
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Re: Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette Question

I would announce when you are comfy and ready! I don't think it is stealing anyone's thunder....this is YOUR family, designed the way God intended it to happen
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Old 10-01-2008, 11:31 AM   #8
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Re: Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette Question

i'd wait until your at least 12 weeks- thats what i'm doing- i think i'll be telling them when we go to visit this month and i'll be right around 13/14 weeks.
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Old 10-01-2008, 11:38 AM   #9
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Re: Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette Question

Don't worry about making others upset or stealing anyone's thunder. Just tell when you feel that the time is right. Everyone will get over whatever "problem" they may or may not have with your timing.

I told my mom about a week after we found out, but I asked her not to tell anyone else in the family or among friends. I then told other close family members at 8 weeks after we saw a heartbeat and knew baby was currently alive and well. Then we waited to tell everyone else until we hit 12 weeks and had our u/s showing us that baby was still doing great and developing right on target. That is what I felt comfortable with and I'm glad that I waited the way I did. I know others who have told right away and I think that's fine too - it all depends on how you feel about other people knowing.
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Old 10-01-2008, 07:49 PM   #10
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Re: Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette Question

I would tell when you are comfortable. I've had 4 miscarriages and with this latest pregnancy we decided to wait until 12 weeks to tell people except for our parents (and my siblings who still live at home)

Don't worry about stealing thunder. Every baby is special - if you think she'll react funny maybe call her and tell her separately instead of at a family event? But she is in a happy place and so are you so IMO it shouldn't be an issue.

Waiting until 12 weeks is perfectly acceptable - if someone has a problem with it, too bad! Waiting until you are 7 months pregnant before telling...well you can ask my husband's sister how well that went over - dh and I were the only ones who didn't know she was pregnant. Her excuse? She was waiting until I got pregnant to tell us. Whatever.

Anyway.

Congrats on your pregnancy!!!!! Sending you TONS and TONS of sticky baby dust!!!!!!!!
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