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Old 10-15-2011, 02:01 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by quicksilverNHS
Thank you all. I just can't quit thinking about how beautiful he was and how if he'd made it just a few more weeks he might have made it because he was 100% healthy---my body was the one that couldn't keep him in.
My heart breaks for you. I am so so sorry mama. He was beautiful.

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Old 10-15-2011, 08:30 AM   #22
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Re: TTC while Breastfeeding Grads! ~Month of October~

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My heart breaks for you. I am so so sorry mama. He was beautiful.
thank you.

Last night my son woke up in the middle of the night crying for his brother.

I wish my 2 year old could understand fully what is going on. Poor guy just doesn't know anything other than that brother came out of mommy's tummy and went to sleep and then went away and he wants to play with him SO much.

He carries around a stuffed angel and calls it brother and asks me to swaddle it and shares food/toys/drinks/etc with him and plays dinosaurs or cars or blocks with him and tucks him into bed, etc. He even sleeps with "Bubber" tucked against his chest. Its absolutely heartbreaking



Also---the thing that keeps amusing me about Deagan is the size of his feet. Those things were huge for such a little guy

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Old 10-15-2011, 09:02 AM   #23
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Re: TTC while Breastfeeding Grads! ~Month of October~

Marie, I just can't stop thinking about you and your family. Like many other mamas, my heart breaks for you. Somehow you are going through a mother's worst fear and doing it with so much love for your children. Even through all the sadness there is such beauty and love in your experience and time with Deagan and your lo's desire to be "brothering" his baby brother. You are an awesome, beautiful woman for not looking away and taking it all in. Thank you for sharing with us.
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Old 10-15-2011, 09:26 AM   #24
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Steph said it so beautifully. The strength and love you're showing is inspirational. I'll be lighting a candle just for him tonight.

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Old 10-15-2011, 08:19 PM   #25
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I forgot to subscribe to this thread, and just got caught up tonight.

Marie, my heart is breaking for you. The way your DS is handling it is so very sweet. I am keeping your whole family in my prayers as the healing process continues.
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Old 10-16-2011, 02:41 AM   #26
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Re: TTC while Breastfeeding Grads! ~Month of October~

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Originally Posted by CheapskateKate View Post
I forgot to subscribe to this thread, and just got caught up tonight.

Marie, my heart is breaking for you. The way your DS is handling it is so very sweet. I am keeping your whole family in my prayers as the healing process continues.
Thank you, my son's sweetness is heartbreaking, even as it makes me so proud of him for being such a good big brother.
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Old 10-16-2011, 03:10 AM   #27
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Re: TTC while Breastfeeding Grads! ~Month of October~

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Originally Posted by preemiemama View Post
Marie, I just can't stop thinking about you and your family. Like many other mamas, my heart breaks for you. Somehow you are going through a mother's worst fear and doing it with so much love for your children. Even through all the sadness there is such beauty and love in your experience and time with Deagan and your lo's desire to be "brothering" his baby brother. You are an awesome, beautiful woman for not looking away and taking it all in. Thank you for sharing with us.
"Brother" went to the zoo with us today. He got a front-and-center view of the cheetahs. And during the drive there, DS held him and kissed him and hugged him for the entire 1 hour drive there. He did nap without holding him today...out of sheer exhaustion.

I am absolutely amazed at how much my 2 boys look alike. My DS is asleep beside me right now and his little peaceful sleeping face looks SO much like Deagans that I can hardly stand to let him lay there without smothering him with kisses and squeezing him. I'll always wonder how much they would have looked alike as they grew :/
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Old 10-16-2011, 05:48 AM   #28
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Re: TTC while Breastfeeding Grads! ~Month of October~

Marie, I added Deagan to the header at the bottom.
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Old 10-16-2011, 03:27 PM   #29
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Re: TTC while Breastfeeding Grads! ~Month of October~

Marie I dont have any words to express the sadness I feel for your family. I know you will cherish those precious moments and pictures of your beautiful baby for the rest of your life, though nothing can actually replace him. I have been thinking of you and your family all weekend, and will keep you in my thoughts.
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Old 10-16-2011, 03:33 PM   #30
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Re: TTC while Breastfeeding Grads! ~Month of October~

I too continue to be at a loss for words, but with a heart full of love and sadness for you and your family Marie. I had a dream about you and your little Deagan the other night. I know you and your ds and your DH are all coping and grieving together and are doing so with so much grace. You are in my thoughts. May a peace be with you. I wish I could do more. ..
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