View Poll Results: Is it okay for a teacher to yell at a child?
Yes 8 10.00%
No 68 85.00%
Other (please explain) 4 5.00%
Voters: 80. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-28-2009, 08:10 PM   #31
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Re: Am I wrong to be angry about dd's teacher yelling at her?

My oldest son has one of those teachers this year. We went above her to the principal and got things straightened out.

It's not okay for a teacher to yell at your daughter.

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Old 01-28-2009, 08:16 PM   #32
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Re: Am I wrong to be angry about dd's teacher yelling at her?

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Originally Posted by Tweedledum View Post
I am one of the ones who voted yes. Keep in mind that the poll question is, "Is it okay for a teacher to yell at a child?" That is what I was answering yes to, not in the context of the OP's situation with her DD, where I agree detention or a parent phone call would be more appropriate.

The reason I said yes is because I have been in some very very tough inner city schools, where a few of the students were violent (think, kneeing each other in the crotch in 3rd grade, a kindergartner poking another in the eye with a crayon ON PURPOSE and then laughing when that kindergartner started to cry), headbutting and biting teachers, throwing rocks at cars in the school parking lot. Then, yeah, in those situations, raising your voice to a child who is not in the least responsive to a polite request to stop, is totally appropriate. In fact, in some of those situations, you just can't help yourself (such as the teacher who was bitten HARD by a kindergartner, yelling in at him to STOP, because he had his jaws clamped down so hard and he would NOT let go). If you didn't raise your voice, many of these kids would not understand that you disapproved of what they were doing.

These are exceptional cases, and this situation that the OP described is not a situation where yelling seems like the best solution to the problem. However, if you generally don't think anyone but you or your partner should "yell at" your child, where you haven't even witnessed aforementioned yelling or the context under which it took place, then yeah, you should probably home school.
Personally I would have voted OTHER in terms of your view. Meaning in most cases that no it isn't appropriate but there ARE SOME places/cases that it is needed. But that is just my
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Old 01-28-2009, 08:27 PM   #33
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Re: Am I wrong to be angry about dd's teacher yelling at her?

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Why are you assuming that I haven't done anything discipline wise with her?

We are working on it with ALL of her classes, as well as at home. We've been in contact (face to face as well as weekly emails) with ALL of her teachers, this one included (she has 6-8 since she's in middle school). Transitioning from homeschool back to public school has been hard for her, and I've been working closely with all of her teachers.

The first time he yelled was last week. She said he apologized on his own afterwards, and asked me not to contact him because she knew she had done wrong, and that they had worked things out after class. The second time he yelled was yesterday.

So please forgive me, but what more do you think we should be doing?
You simply stated in your OP that this teacher "yells at her" to the point where "she cries". Sorry if you didn't mean it this way, but I took it to mean that it has been something that has happened often and consistently. You later clarified to say that it had only happened twice. You also didn't mention anything about having a plan in place for her with her teachers. Some important details that readers need to get more of the whole story, don't you think?
I never assumed that you don't discipline her at home, but it's not uncommon for children who are good at home to act out at school and vice versa. And if these are behaviours that you've been dealing with for 6+ years, then maybe you need to look into a new form of discipline?
This is all being said without knowing any details about your specific situation. It's very hard to make suggestions based on the limited info you provided.
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Old 01-28-2009, 08:34 PM   #34
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Re: Am I wrong to be angry about dd's teacher yelling at her?

Not appropriate at all. I'd be having a meet w/ the teacher, principle, and school consular asap.

to your dd. A teacher should never make a child cry.
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Old 01-28-2009, 08:44 PM   #35
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Re: Am I wrong to be angry about dd's teacher yelling at her?

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Originally Posted by MarineGurl020412 View Post
Personally I would have voted OTHER in terms of your view. Meaning in most cases that no it isn't appropriate but there ARE SOME places/cases that it is needed. But that is just my

Okay. I guess it's just a matter of how you interpret the question. From my point of view, as a teacher who works in challenging school settings "MOST situations" is working with behaviorally-disordered/challenged kids. From your point of view, as a parent of a highly functioning kid, then I guess "most situations" would be... your own kid.

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Old 01-30-2009, 10:26 PM   #36
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Re: Am I wrong to be angry about dd's teacher yelling at her?

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Originally Posted by eljube112 View Post
You simply stated in your OP that this teacher "yells at her" to the point where "she cries". Sorry if you didn't mean it this way, but I took it to mean that it has been something that has happened often and consistently. You later clarified to say that it had only happened twice. You also didn't mention anything about having a plan in place for her with her teachers. Some important details that readers need to get more of the whole story, don't you think?
I never assumed that you don't discipline her at home, but it's not uncommon for children who are good at home to act out at school and vice versa. And if these are behaviours that you've been dealing with for 6+ years, then maybe you need to look into a new form of discipline?
This is all being said without knowing any details about your specific situation. It's very hard to make suggestions based on the limited info you provided.
With all due respect, do you have a school aged child? It's very normal for children to do things like this (talk at inappropriate times, etc), especially at the age that she is.

I thought I would have the perfect child too-one that would love school, listen to her teacher, always pay attention, get her homework done without me bugging her about it etc, until I had one that age It's a whole different story when you're giving advice for something you've never dealt with before though (and I'm not trying to be mean saying that or anything).
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Old 01-30-2009, 10:43 PM   #37
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Re: Am I wrong to be angry about dd's teacher yelling at her?

I went through this two years ago with my dd. You need to have a meeting with the principal, the teacher and if possible your DH and you. The reason I think your DH should be there is that you need another person that is there for YOU. They ultimately try to cover themselves. you need to ask the teacher what it is that is frustrating him. Then, I would ask the principal what he/she suggests is the proper protocol for when a child does that... such as what he would recommend other than yelling. you let them know that it is NOT ok with you for your child to be yelled at. I think that should get the point to them.

ETA: my dd is still not recovered from that whole ordeal. She has become overly perfectionistic and concerned about whether or not she is dumb. People like that should NOT teach children
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