My child was left in bathroom during firedrill....

[pcjs]

Originally Posted by z2akids Well, if you don't want them there, then ask them to leave. But, we just had a new family move in next door. They have one little one who just recently turned 3. We have several families whose kids all play together and little Julia has been included in their play since she moved in. She has a great time with them. My kids are 11, 8 and 7 and the other children are 11, 9, 8 and 4. Then toss in a couple of 18 year olds who play with the kids now and again. Sure, Julia cannot keep up very well with the bigger kids, but they give her separate rules for their games and she just mostly runs around chasing after the other kids which they love. She just got a 2 wheel bike with training wheels. I was telling her mom last night that I bet that she has those training wheels off before long this summer because she wants to keep up with the big kids. Playing with older children can be encouraging to younger kids and help them reach their potential.

I would love it if these kids were like you described but they are not. Only one set of neighbors kids are and they come over (and inside as ever so often I'll watch them but mom will watch my son and I don't worry). I'd never let him outside without us and I'd only trust a few of the other parents who know him (and he will not go with them) but he'd rather "help" us than play with them. I guess power tools are more fun.

If we had older teenagers like that, I'd rather just pay them a little bit so we could get a few things done.

[wordbox]

The point of a drill is to learn. If it's supposed to perfect 100% of the time, why have them at all? They are to practice. Mistakes will be made, lessons will be learned, and then these things are less likely to happen in the event of a real emergency. People aren't perfect and that is why they have drills... to see what needs to be better next time. I bet this was a good thing in disguise, BECAUSE a child was left behind. People will remember THAT more than they would remember a perfectly run drill where everyone patted themselves on the back and checked another thing off their to-do list for the day. If no kid was in the bathroom it wouldn't have been an issue at all, and no one would have learned anything. If the drills go off perfectly every single time, it doesn't mean something like this couldn't happen if there was a real fire. What if the one time a student was in the bathroom was during an actual fire? And no one thought to do anything because they were so used to running perfect drills?

[z2akids]

Originally Posted by pcjs I would love it if these kids were like you described but they are not. Only one set of neighbors kids are and they come over (and inside as ever so often I'll watch them but mom will watch my son and I don't worry). I'd never let him outside without us and I'd only trust a few of the other parents who know him (and he will not go with them) but he'd rather "help" us than play with them. I guess power tools are more fun. If we had older teenagers like that, I'd rather just pay them a little bit so we could get a few things done.

You will never know what your LO is capable of if you don't give him a little bit of freedom. We all have fears that are both reasonable and unreasonable. It can be hard to stop yourself from standing right next to your LO when he is on the monkey bars, but they gain a world of confidence when they see you step back and let them try things. It may not be the kids in your neighborhood, but pick something and hold yourself back from helping him. Before his nap say Monday, talk to him about how sometimes mommy has to get the mail or water the garden, etc. Explain to him that he is safe even if you are not there immediately when he wakes up. Teach him what to do if he wakes up and you can't get to him right away. And then go for it. Go out and water your garden. You will learn too that things will be okay. Leave the stove off and make sure any candles are out. The chance of a spontaneous fire while you water the garden is so remote. I know it can be hard not to worry, but the reality is that your son is probably more likely to wake up and find that you've had a stroke or heart attack than he is to wake up to a fire with you in the garden.

When my oldest was 5 and started getting off of the bus by himself, we spent time going over an action plan in case I wasn't home when he got off the bus. We talked about what to do, how he was to go across the street to the neighbor's house and wait for me. Then, we put him to the test. I told the bus driver and my neighbor that DH and I wanted to make sure that DS#1 was comfortable. So, we didn't tell him and I parked my car around the corner, locked the door and went upstairs to watch from a window. It was scary for me to watch, but guess what - he managed just fine. And, I relaxed just a touch.

I'm not suggesting you leave your 2 year old entirely alone. But, he will be better for the responsibility and the confidence you show in letting him do things for himself and taking a couple of steps back - sit on a park bench instead of being on the playground with him. Recognize that the chances are that, even if you are standing on the playground, if he falls, you likely won't be in time to catch him. Let him out in your backyard with a coupld of the older kids and give him a little time to try to play with them. Maybe not the ones you think are the roughest, but give him and some of them a chance. Honestly, mine are pretty rough compared to a 3 year old. But, they adjust and they are careful of her. Sure, sometimes someone needs to remind them to play gently, but they all get riled up - including the 3 year old.

[pcjs]

He does plenty himself and has plenty of freedom, but trust me, he's a sweet and wonderful child but no one would let him loose on a playground alone. He's impressively good at some of the physical stuff and will take too many chances and keep trying even if it isn't safe. We had a fun trip to the ER Saturday as I was worried about a bruise on his gum above his front tooth (my neighbor didn't like how it looked either) and that was with him climbing with my husband right there. To us, taking him to the park and interacting is spending quality time with him. No way would he allow us to just sit there and not play. Besides, the swings and slides are fun... (though I am not a fan of the really high ones he loves). Even his gymnastics teacher will not allow him to do things alone that he would other kids as my kid pushes it to the limit. (his teacher wishes me luck as he was the same way as a kid... his poor mom had three boys). He doesn't have the vocabulary or comprehension to just explain things. I'll never leave him... he just comes with me or I do it later. No way would I water my garden with him just hanging out in the house. It would take to long as I have 8 garden boxes plus a few scattered fruit areas. Better solution is for my husband to set up an automatic sprinkler system once we redo the basement and get water running to the back yard. Its on his to-do list which is a mile long.

Some kids are very active & curious and some are very mellow and don't test boundaries. I got a wonderful little character who loves to figure it out, explore, jump and climb so I have to change who I am and make my parenting style fit his needs - not how someone else parents (though some suggestions are very helpful) their children best, but look at his specific needs and work within that.

But, back to the topic, with a kid like mine...there is no way I'd be ok with them leaving him and a few day cares around here have had serious consequences for leaving kids at parks and other places (and most of the parents pulled the kids). Maybe where other people live, its taken lightly, but not around here for the prices we are paying. So, if its ok at a fire drill, is it ok on a field trip, trip to the park (it has happened here), etc. The teacher should have done a bathroom check, but she should have know a child was in there too. All jobs have consequences for poor performance and anything with kids safety should not be taken lightly.

[mcpforever]

Field trips are completely different.

During a fire drill, the class leaves on foot and then returns moments later. A child could conceivably just hide in the bathroom and rejoin the class once they return. The same child could also independently walk to the safe zone, as I've never seen a school that required students to cross busy streets during a fire evacuation. There are also other adults who are responsible for any stragglers.

During a field trip, the child is stuck in unfamiliar territory and they don't have any accountable adult with them. As well, there is always a time when the students board their vehicles (or line up on foot) that the teacher has to check his/her list BEFORE departing. There is no speed component to prohibit this.

FWIW, when my DS1 was in 4K, we allowed him to attend stay and play at his preschool during his second semester. One day he came to the car teary eyed and the director apologized up one side and down the other because he had gotten left on the playground. (fenced in but door to inside was locked) Heads had been counted, but someone noticed he was missing a few minutes later. I spent a good deal of time reminding him to pay attention and line up when it was time to go in. You would think that he would be the very first in line after that. A few days later, the director comes to tell me that he looked right at her as she was lining the kids up and kept playing instead of lining up. He caught heck for that from me. Sure he was only 4.5, but he needed to obey and behave himself so that HE could grow up and become a responsible adult who would always remember to check the bathroom for kids during a fire drill.

[ajane]

Originally Posted by wordbox The point of a drill is to learn. If it's supposed to perfect 100% of the time, why have them at all? They are to practice. Mistakes will be made, lessons will be learned, and then these things are less likely to happen in the event of a real emergency. People aren't perfect and that is why they have drills... to see what needs to be better next time. I bet this was a good thing in disguise, BECAUSE a child was left behind. People will remember THAT more than they would remember a perfectly run drill where everyone patted themselves on the back and checked another thing off their to-do list for the day. If no kid was in the bathroom it wouldn't have been an issue at all, and no one would have learned anything. If the drills go off perfectly every single time, it doesn't mean something like this couldn't happen if there was a real fire. What if the one time a student was in the bathroom was during an actual fire? And no one thought to do anything because they were so used to running perfect drills?

[ajane]

Originally Posted by pcjs He does plenty himself and has plenty of freedom, but trust me, he's a sweet and wonderful child but no one would let him loose on a playground alone. He's impressively good at some of the physical stuff and will take too many chances and keep trying even if it isn't safe. We had a fun trip to the ER Saturday as I was worried about a bruise on his gum above his front tooth (my neighbor didn't like how it looked either) and that was with him climbing with my husband right there. To us, taking him to the park and interacting is spending quality time with him. No way would he allow us to just sit there and not play. Besides, the swings and slides are fun... (though I am not a fan of the really high ones he loves). Even his gymnastics teacher will not allow him to do things alone that he would other kids as my kid pushes it to the limit. (his teacher wishes me luck as he was the same way as a kid... his poor mom had three boys). He doesn't have the vocabulary or comprehension to just explain things. I'll never leave him... he just comes with me or I do it later. No way would I water my garden with him just hanging out in the house. It would take to long as I have 8 garden boxes plus a few scattered fruit areas. Better solution is for my husband to set up an automatic sprinkler system once we redo the basement and get water running to the back yard. Its on his to-do list which is a mile long. Some kids are very active & curious and some are very mellow and don't test boundaries. I got a wonderful little character who loves to figure it out, explore, jump and climb so I have to change who I am and make my parenting style fit his needs - not how someone else parents (though some suggestions are very helpful) their children best, but look at his specific needs and work within that. But, back to the topic, with a kid like mine...there is no way I'd be ok with them leaving him and a few day cares around here have had serious consequences for leaving kids at parks and other places (and most of the parents pulled the kids). Maybe where other people live, its taken lightly, but not around here for the prices we are paying. So, if its ok at a fire drill, is it ok on a field trip, trip to the park (it has happened here), etc. The teacher should have done a bathroom check, but she should have know a child was in there too. All jobs have consequences for poor performance and anything with kids safety should not be taken lightly.

Meh. My son is absolutely crazy. A complete 180 of my girls. The kid has climbed into the fridge before. We have a side by side door fridge with the freezer on the bottom. He opened both doors of the fridge and climbed up onto the handle of the freezer and into the fridge. He can even climb up onto our counters. He is a boy and a kid and will learn his limits. I can't and won't be by his side 24/7. He has already had a broken arm and I'm sure it won't be his only broken bone.