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Old 02-15-2013, 09:17 AM   #111
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

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Speaking of which, isn't march 14th "steak and Bj day"? Hubby heard that vday was for women and mar 14th was for men. I refused, however, to accept that Valentines day was one-sided. I always spend as much (if not more) time/money spoiling him on Valentines. So, we agreed that march 14th could be pizza (or other treat of my choice) and Bj day.
Oh that's right...never really done the whole s & bj day but I agree, it should be a celebration for all.

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Old 02-15-2013, 09:34 AM   #112
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

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I asked my (almost) 4 year old what Velentines Day meant to her. "It's all about big smooshy love, mama! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!"

I mean, really. Nothing subversive about that.
Aww, how sweet.

My little guy was a bit confused. He woke up early and took cards to each of his sleeping sisters and yelled "Happy Thanksgiving _______, I love you!"

The girls got a kick out of that and they all kept wishing eachother well for various holidays all day.
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Old 02-15-2013, 09:49 AM   #113
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

Stopped reading on page 3. We find ways to celebrate most holidays with our children: sweetest day, fat Tuesday, v- day, etc. My husband and I don't celebrate any holiday in a sexual way. Just use as an extra excuse to do something sweet. I gave my husband little gifts: book, socket set peanutbutter, hot sauce, pens, lotto cards, and pistachios ( nothing sexual there haha ah) the girls got mini box of chocolates, masquerade masks and stickers. eta:not all holidays involve gifts, some just involve traditional meals or desserts
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Old 02-15-2013, 10:10 AM   #114
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I grew up in Canada and we did the same thing then. It seems more over the top now... As in my mil sends the kids gifts, treats, clothes, etc. My FIL sends them cards....

When ds was in prek I was upset about the school spending so much money on a gift bags for each child full of sugar and crappy toys that got lost or broken within 5 minutes. It was a pricey private school and I hated thinking our money went to buy that stuff, for a over commercialized day that I really don't get...

But making up little valentines, or kids giving their friends treats, I think is sweet.

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Old 02-15-2013, 10:15 AM   #115
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

I can't think of a single holiday that started out (or ended up for that matter) " for the children." It seems to me that every holiday has evolved to include kids in some way and on their level as a testament to our need to show we are "putting kids first." It's all kiddiefied and put into a context where it makes sense in their lives.

Another thing to keep in mind is that teaching at that preschool and early elementary school age tends to revolve around the calendar-basically seasons and holidays. It's a way to connect what is going on in the classroom to the immediate world around them. Just about every month has a holiday or two that can be used as a stepping off point for teaching curriculum. DS2 is in 4k and spent a week doing "H is for heart" and then a week doing "V is for Valentine." (Gotta work that uncommon letter V in there!) Next week it's "P is for president." It's nice that they got a culminating activity to bring it all together. Actually, they had two- an age appropriate musical program (songs like "Thank you for loving me, Mommy" for vocal development and "Beat, Beat Heartbeat" for steady beat study) and a small party where Valentines were exchanged. January was a bit of a lull in comparison to most other months, and I always find it quite comical that the curriculum focuses on things like snow, ice, sleds and the like when we live in the south. Valentine's Day is at least something that really happens here!

OP, have you looked at the kiddie Valentine's Day cards? They aren't the least bit romantic. They are sweet and "I'm glad you're my friend/you're a swell pal" with puppies and kittens and superheroes on them. They also sell a lot of them with a little giftie type thing such as stickers, tatoos, erasors, or pencils so you can treat the little ones sans sugar. The candy is usually on a separate aisle even.

Perhaps when in Rome...You can manage to do it in a way that fits your personal values. Send simple cards or trinkets instead of candy. Decide how you want to handle the onslaught of candy (have one day to eat as much as wanted or put it away and dole it out as you see fit-we often do the latter and then it gets "old" so we throw it out) and then deal with it. Sit down with your child and go through her Valentines so you can read the messages and focus on that instead of the candy. "How nice of little Sally to pick out this card just for you! See it says....Let's put the M&Ms in the candy pile. And look! Jimmy gave you a card with his favorite superhero on it!"

FWIW, the candy seems to dwindle the older they get. DD is in public 5K and the rule was no candy-just cards. DS1 is in 5th grade (different school) and his candy was minimal.
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Old 02-15-2013, 10:37 AM   #116
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Old 02-15-2013, 10:50 AM   #117
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

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I can't think of a single holiday that started out (or ended up for that matter) " for the children." It seems to me that every holiday has evolved to include kids in some way and on their level as a testament to our need to show we are "putting kids first." It's all kiddiefied and put into a context where it makes sense in their lives.

Another thing to keep in mind is that teaching at that preschool and early elementary school age tends to revolve around the calendar-basically seasons and holidays. It's a way to connect what is going on in the classroom to the immediate world around them. Just about every month has a holiday or two that can be used as a stepping off point for teaching curriculum. DS2 is in 4k and spent a week doing "H is for heart" and then a week doing "V is for Valentine." (Gotta work that uncommon letter V in there!) Next week it's "P is for president." It's nice that they got a culminating activity to bring it all together. Actually, they had two- an age appropriate musical program (songs like "Thank you for loving me, Mommy" for vocal development and "Beat, Beat Heartbeat" for steady beat study) and a small party where Valentines were exchanged. January was a bit of a lull in comparison to most other months, and I always find it quite comical that the curriculum focuses on things like snow, ice, sleds and the like when we live in the south. Valentine's Day is at least something that really happens here!

OP, have you looked at the kiddie Valentine's Day cards? They aren't the least bit romantic. They are sweet and "I'm glad you're my friend/you're a swell pal" with puppies and kittens and superheroes on them. They also sell a lot of them with a little giftie type thing such as stickers, tatoos, erasors, or pencils so you can treat the little ones sans sugar. The candy is usually on a separate aisle even.

Perhaps when in Rome...You can manage to do it in a way that fits your personal values. Send simple cards or trinkets instead of candy. Decide how you want to handle the onslaught of candy (have one day to eat as much as wanted or put it away and dole it out as you see fit-we often do the latter and then it gets "old" so we throw it out) and then deal with it. Sit down with your child and go through her Valentines so you can read the messages and focus on that instead of the candy. "How nice of little Sally to pick out this card just for you! See it says....Let's put the M&Ms in the candy pile. And look! Jimmy gave you a card with his favorite superhero on it!"

FWIW, the candy seems to dwindle the older they get. DD is in public 5K and the rule was no candy-just cards. DS1 is in 5th grade (different school) and his candy was minimal.
I only sent cards for my oldest and juice boxes for her party. Her school sends home a letter that says, " please send...." to help eliminate the junk food. Things like cheese pretzel sticks, muffins is usually the " sweetest" item on the list.

My preschoolers class goes big for their parties. They had pizza served with fruit and asked for valentines and a little treat. I went to the party favor aisle for something: Mickey mouse sweat bands.

And we do similar with the candy put it all away and give it to them here and there. Throw out when they're not around what we don't want them to have. We didn't get an absurd amount of candy lots of cute cards thanks to pinterest.
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Old 02-15-2013, 01:57 PM   #118
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

I think you're looking into it way more than it needs to be. I'm failing to see how a $2 box of cards is being absurd or conveying inappropriate messages about the holiday. Let children enjoy the days for what they are. My oldest came home with 3 roses from a little boy. I didn't freak because it was so sweet and completely innocent with pure intention.
My other daughter is 3, her class did a heart healthy party. No junk. They learned about eating well and exercising.
A day of poor eating every once in a while isn't gonna ruin a child. Life has way to many other things and issues to be serious/concerned about.
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Old 02-15-2013, 02:11 PM   #119
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

i'm 30, and I passed out cards in school. my parents usually gave us a little something too... heck, my dad bought me a box of candy a couple of weeks ago when he was here visiting. i buy little gifts for my son as well, and help may daycare kids make cards for their families as well... its fun
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Old 02-15-2013, 02:25 PM   #120
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I am truly confused by this thread. I am in my 30's and this was pretty typical when I was a kid to pass out little Valentine's cards and have treats. Yes, it means something different for children vs adults (especially those who are not married), but I really don't think it is a big deal. My kids don't eat candy or sugar on a regular basis and if they were in public school I probably wouldn't care if they got some sugary treats yesterday. Frankly I've never celebrated Valentine's day in the way you are suggesting most adults do.

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