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Old 08-20-2007, 08:24 AM   #11
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

I haven't, but all my family is nearby. This time I probably will though!


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Old 08-20-2007, 08:41 AM   #12
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

With ds my mom stayed with me overnights in the hospital and dh had paternity leave so he stayed with me at home the first 2 weeks. (I was severly anemic)
With dd my best friend stayed at the hospital with me overnights and my grandmother stayed a few days once we were home.
I recovered much more quickly from my natural birth than my medicated one!
Denise, wife to Mike since 6-15-2002, PTWOHM and College Student Mommy to Samuel Wyatt (8-24-04) (who has a blue belt in Shaolin Kung-Fu) and cding, co-sleeping Andrea Rachelle (10-11-06) (Our Celiac Disease, Seizure having beauty queen).
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:47 AM   #13
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

Originally Posted by Namaste View Post
Hire somebody like me, a postpartum doula. Yes, it can be expensive, but you could always have somebody come part time, something like 4-5 hours a day, to help. if you want more information.
this sounds heavenly.

we had a birthing doula with our last baby and she was great. we'll have a birthing doula with this one as well, and i believe you can have them (at least certain ones) come to your house to check on you and stuff. i'll have to look into it. the dona website says that there there are no postpartum doulas in my area.

thanks for the info susan.
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:47 AM   #14
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

With my first my MIL came a month before he was due, and stayed until he was 6 mo old...... Okay, I didn't need nor did I want the help that she provided, it was like babysitting a teenager!!!

With My Second I told her she was not to come until she was invited! I lasted 2 weeks with a colicy baby, not being able to move due to being hit by a truck as a pedestrian the day before he was born and having a 2.5 yr old. She came out... STILL NO HELP!!!

So with our third because I figured I was being rude not letting her come out for 2 wks with our 2nd She came out right after he was born..... She sat there on her butt while I was bfing a newborn, and trying to get a 18mo old and a 4 yr old dressed to get the 4yo to preschool before 8am (over 35 min drive to the school) and all she did to "help" was say, "its amazing what you can do with 1 hand!!!" UGHHHHH

So she asked me this time if she could come out.... Thank GOODNESS I have 6 different due dates that none of them match up to eachother and so I told her I wouldn't be able to give her a good time frame for baby to be here.
and what is she going to help with this time? I'll have all 3 in school and I usually cook and freeze at least 2 weeks worth of meals before baby gets here.

I would LOVE it if someone would come out and actually HELP me, with cooking, cleaning etc, but when this tornado leaves, the kitchen needs repainted (because she will leave things boiling on the stove and it will melt the pain on the walls near the stove, if it doesn't ruin them from splatter) and all my pans are usually ruined (nonstick, she chooses to go out and buy brillow pads for them every time) it has cost me over 300.00 to redo the messes she makes every time she has visited me (and its not just for births that she visits). --- She finally quit cooking at my house about 2 years ago when I threw the biggest fit after trying to tell her nicely about 20 times that I would do all the cooking so she could relax. . . it took a complete blow up for her to understand I didn't want her taking over my kitchen (including moving all the things around)
So my experiences have been NIGHTMARES. I am praying however that a few friends stop by and lend a hand this time around. - which I am sure they will, I have really good friends now, and all of them need a baby fix, so even if they take the baby for a few minutes for me to cook dinner it would be awesome.

I don't mean to sound ungreatful, but this woman makes it very hard to appreciate having "help" around. Now my mother on the other hand, we moved in 4 days before DS 3 was born, she put my entire kitchen together, steam cleaned the bedrooms, I could not thank her enough, but I think the difference between it being YOUR mom and HIS Mom is huge, Your mom knows your limits and when you are getting irritated, HIS mom may not be that observant.
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:56 AM   #15
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

With my dd I had no one stay. Dh is helpful, but I felt great after I had her and was able to do anything I needed. I wasn't tired because I napped when she napped. (the joy of having 1 dc!)

With my ds, I didn't have anyone at first. However when he was 1 week old, I hemmoraged and had to have 2 d&c's. I lost nearly all blood. So, after being in surgery 2 times and having 4 blood transfusions in under 24 hours, my mom came and stayed overnight so dh and I could get some much needed sleep. I felt okay the next day, but dh took a few days off to make sure the 2 kids weren't too much for me.
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Old 08-20-2007, 09:25 AM   #16
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

With DD1 My MIL came out for 3 weeks after we came home from the hospital. She was the BIGGEST help. She would get up with Brooke in the night occasionally so i could sleep. (She was preemie, so I was pumping still), she cooked us all our meals, helped clean, laundry, etc! It was really nice! Although 3 weeks was a little too long! 2 would've been nicer!

I'm hoping she offers to do the same this time, although this time DH will be taking parental leave and won't have to go back to work right away.
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Mama to 3! Brooke (4), Katie (3) and our newest addition, Ryan born 3/5/2011!
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Old 08-20-2007, 09:34 AM   #17
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

My mom stayed with me for 2 weeks. I thought it might be difficult, but she was a real blessing. Usually we tussle after 3 days, but I was so tired and she was so helpful! She cooked and did dishes and every afternoon rocked the baby for a few hours so I could sleep.

My MIL on the other hand, cannot cook a thing (a trait she passed to my DH!) but at least she was an extra pair of hands. She held the baby while I cooked. That was something at least. We only had her here for 5 days when the baby was 5 weeks old so we were already at least in a routine.
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Old 08-20-2007, 09:36 AM   #18
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

We lived with the IL's when I was preggo with #1, so after he was born...they were there (FIL/MIL). MIL was a lot of help...either holding the baby so I could go pee or just whatever. Then with ds2, we were living on our own and my mom came to visit afterward. I don't remember how long my mom stayed after ds2 was born...but she just helped out in general...with laundry, meals, playing with ds1 or bathing him while I was trying to bf the new baby, etc. My dh wasn't/isn't a lot of help, so it was really nice.
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Old 08-20-2007, 09:41 AM   #19
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?


For me, I absolutely positively did not want anyone NEAR my home after the birth of either child. I am very much inclined to overdo things and be cranky and tired but I also want things done MY WAY. I'd stress myself out over someone being in my house doing things their way or trying to do it my way and messing up. I'm too much of a control freak to let someone help like that. However, the hardest things for me during the first month is cooking and housework. I enjoy the laundry and I enjoy the errand-running(though I might not with 3 kids this time!). But the hardest things are cooking and housework because the littlest needs to be held so much and nursed so much. And help with the older kids would be nice. Getting them out at least once a week to burn energy at the playground or doing a fun activity would be REALLY helpful. I'm counting on my in-laws to do that after the baby is born because I can't stand having them in my home messing things up but they are great for hanging out with my kids and giving me a break. That will give me the freedom to wrap the baby or sling the baby and get things done. Sounds like I'm saying they aren't good enough to be in my home. I dont' mean tthat at all, in fact I just mean that I don't want anyone in my home while I'm bleeding like crazy, learning to nurse a newborn all over again, dealing with engorgement and leaks, and the baby blues. I just want to be alone to figure things out by myself.
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Old 08-20-2007, 10:23 AM   #20
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

my MIL is coming Dec 2nd and staying for about a week after the baby is born...that way it will give me some help but i won't feel smothered. She lives 10 hours away though, so i am really looking forward to her visit!
Rachael...wife to Mike 10/22/05, furmom to Swiffer 12/31/05,
and SAHM to Loralei 12/12/07 & Michael HB 10/4/10
Kathleen HB 3/2/13

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