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Old 05-06-2011, 06:57 AM   #11
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Re: Anyone ever wanted to wean just to....

DH just asked me about this the other day. My problem isn't really related to the breastfeeding - my hormones are screwed up anyway. So I have to take hormones to fix my sex drive, and I don't want to take that while nursing. And I've been nursing for 5 years, so... My younger DD just turned 2, so he asked if that was long enough for her. BF is such a big part of my parenting journey though, it is hard for me to think about giving that up before I have to. I think I would resent DH for "taking it away from me" so I don't think it would really be that helpful for our relationship either.

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Old 05-06-2011, 08:35 AM   #12
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Re: Anyone ever wanted to wean just to....

It could just be the way your hormones are changing this time around. I've always had a fluctuating sex drive, and this time around I definitely have more of a sex drive!! Maybe thats because I've never gone this long in my life though??? LOL (SO and I have been going through some tough times..)
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Old 05-06-2011, 12:04 PM   #13
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Re: Anyone ever wanted to wean just to....

I wouldn't wean for it. And I have no desire to be intimate. However I "help" DH out sometimes just because he gets irritable if he doesn't do that.

I'm only 5 1/2 weeks PP right now. So he hasn't been asking for it... yet. I think after the 1 yr mark I got into it last time and nursed my MDD to 34/35 months. Then he was deployed for a year, LOL. That is a great way to get your sex drive back.
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Old 05-06-2011, 12:56 PM   #14
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Re: Anyone ever wanted to wean just to....

Yep I feel like that all the time, I am always turning DH down. You're not alone!
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Old 05-06-2011, 06:19 PM   #15
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Re: Anyone ever wanted to wean just to....

Quote:
Originally Posted by DesertRat View Post
Really? No one gets frustrated by this? Wonton, I'm relieved to hear yours came back before you weaned. Maybe there's hope for me.
I don't have this problem. BUT, I can tell you that if I did, I would totally be tempted to wean or cut way back because of it. I would definitely wait it out a year before even considering it. But, I enjoy s3x and I think it's important in our marriage. The times I've had to abstain or one of us had a dip in drive have been hard on both of us. Even if I don't want it, I want to want it. So, while I can't fully relate because I have never had an issue with my drive because of BF'ing (or anything more than a couple of days ), I can say with 100% certainty, I would at the least be tempted to wean because of it. I'm not sure I would. It would depend on my frustration level, but I would definitely be tempted.
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Old 05-06-2011, 10:27 PM   #16
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Re: Anyone ever wanted to wean just to....

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Originally Posted by HeatherlovesCDs View Post
I don't have this problem. BUT, I can tell you that if I did, I would totally be tempted to wean or cut way back because of it. I would definitely wait it out a year before even considering it. But, I enjoy s3x and I think it's important in our marriage. The times I've had to abstain or one of us had a dip in drive have been hard on both of us. Even if I don't want it, I want to want it. So, while I can't fully relate because I have never had an issue with my drive because of BF'ing (or anything more than a couple of days ), I can say with 100% certainty, I would at the least be tempted to wean because of it. I'm not sure I would. It would depend on my frustration level, but I would definitely be tempted.
Bolding mine.

Thanks so much for this. This is exactly how I feel. I love the close, physical relationship we have. And it really bothers me that I've been so *blah* about intimacy lately. I'd like to nurse longer, but my relationship with DH is obviously very important, and I kind of feel like nursing past 12 months is "bonus." So it's a toss-up about which is important to me right now.

I'm hoping that in the next few months things get better. I definitely won't be weaning anytime too soon, since DS is 10 months and still is refusing solid foods. We'll be nursing for a while yet, I'm sure. But even though I started out with such high hopes to make it all the way to two years, I'm not sure we'll make it there this time.
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Old 05-06-2011, 11:08 PM   #17
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Re: Anyone ever wanted to wean just to....

I second the wanting to want it....

I weaned a year ago and I still don't like it when DH touches my breasts. I hate that I dislike it, but I can't help it. I already had a low sex drive, so having two kids in 15 months and switching to working nights so I can be home with the kids during the day, killed it even further. I wouldn't wean because of it, but my husband already said no more kids or breastfeeding....
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Old 05-07-2011, 09:59 AM   #18
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Re: Anyone ever wanted to wean just to....

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Originally Posted by DesertRat View Post
Bolding mine.

Thanks so much for this. This is exactly how I feel. I love the close, physical relationship we have. And it really bothers me that I've been so *blah* about intimacy lately. I'd like to nurse longer, but my relationship with DH is obviously very important, and I kind of feel like nursing past 12 months is "bonus." So it's a toss-up about which is important to me right now.

I'm hoping that in the next few months things get better. I definitely won't be weaning anytime too soon, since DS is 10 months and still is refusing solid foods. We'll be nursing for a while yet, I'm sure. But even though I started out with such high hopes to make it all the way to two years, I'm not sure we'll make it there this time.
To the bolded: I agree. IMO, our relationship is the foundation of our family. It is important. If lack of intimacy is hurting my marriage, which it can for us, and I could do something about it, I would. BF'ing past a year is wonderful and awesome and definitely beneficial. I'm doing it. My twins are 13 months. But, happy parents are very important to the entire family, including the kids. Like I said, I would definitely wait till at least a year and probably a little longer. I wouldn't wean to the detriment of my child. Like you said, your baby is not even taking solids yet. But, if it were 16 months in and baby was eating table foods and drinking from a sippy and I knew weaning would help my marriage, I would probably do it. It can be hard to balance your relationship with your children with the relationship with your husband. I just try to remember that everyone in the family is important. Sometimes our marriage needs to come first if it can. Is your cycle back yet? Maybe your drive will come back soon and it won't even be an issue. I pray that is what happens.
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Old 05-08-2011, 12:23 AM   #19
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Re: Anyone ever wanted to wean just to....

My DD is about 9 months now, and I'm with you... not really feelin' it. It's very odd, I have had a few times where I felt like my old self again, but it only lasted a few days and then I was back to where I really couldn't care less about sex. And still no AF yet, so I don't think it's the monthly hormone changes, but I could be wrong. I feel exactly as PP said, I really want to want it.... I just don't.

I was a single mommy when my first was born, so I never had to deal with this issue.... I guess it was a good thing that I wasn't interested because there was no man around!
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Old 05-08-2011, 05:28 PM   #20
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Re: Anyone ever wanted to wean just to....

I think sometimes doing all the things that generally surround the actual act of intimacy (i.e. the wining/dining, romantic-type relationship-y things couples do before they have children) helps encourage the act itself. Us mommies give of ourselves so fully and completely to our children we neglect making the time for things like a full night out with the DH on the town, a hotel room, a few too many beers etc (whatever floats your boat! LOL) I have never considered weaning in order to regain sex drive, because I think there are too many other things I can try first.
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