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Old 01-23-2013, 10:31 PM   #11
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Re: My husband is getting a vasectomy in 2 weeks :/

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Yes I agree. And knowing how his parents may look at you.... Seems he is really more worried about their negative comments and is trying to prove something to them. That sucks since its you two who are married! I will pray for him and that he will open his eyes to your feelings. And poo on those in laws that think you have cheated!!! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I know it must really hurt to hear that kind of crud. ((((Hugs)))) mama.

Funny too because I am mixed- black and white and my dh is a dark skinned black man. All but 2 of our kids are as fair as I am. He has had many strangers ask him if they are his kids! I would be very hurt if it were my in laws saying that. Who would have thought that my moms Caucasian genes would come through but they sure did!!
Thanks mama! Prayers are always welcomed here
Yeah, I've never given them reason as to why I would cheat on him. But, even my mother in law thinks her own husband cheated on her, so she has some real trust issues anyway. But, they go so far as to try to get my husband to believe it. I told my husband if his kids aren't his, they aren't mine either! I told him he's welcome to pay for a paternity test. I'm not against it, and I have nothing to hide. My daughter may be bleach blond, but she sure as heck tans like an Italian! Bleach blond fair skinned kids can't usually do that. I can't tan without freckling. She didn't get her awesome tans from me!

I'm sorry you get that from other people (asking your dh if his kids are his). I get that as well. People are always saying, "your girls don't look like thier daddy). My boys look like him though, and they each look like clones of eachother which is so odd to me. Oh, and my other daughter is chubby....like his side of the family. My side of the family are all tall/thin. I'm the shortest at 5'8.5" LOL!

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Old 01-23-2013, 10:34 PM   #12
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Re: My husband is getting a vasectomy in 2 weeks :/

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I know they are reversable, but they are costly and not guarenteed. Plus, if I was to lose this pregnancy, I'd like to try within 3 months for another because lets face it, I'm getting old LOL! (I'll be 35 when baby is born). I really really wish he would wait. I know it's his body, but honestly, I think of a marriage as a unit, rather than 2 individuals. All decisions like this should be made together.

I understand he doesn't want more kids, but at least wait til a couple weeks after baby is born.....it's not like we'll be having sex during that month! LOL!
I couldn't agree more, it is a decision that should be made together. Especially a decision like that! It's not like deciding on dinner or something! Awe, hang in there, maybe he will change his mind. I hope so!
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:35 PM   #13
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Thanks mama! Prayers are always welcomed here
Yeah, I've never given them reason as to why I would cheat on him. But, even my mother in law thinks her own husband cheated on her, so she has some real trust issues anyway. But, they go so far as to try to get my husband to believe it. I told my husband if his kids aren't his, they aren't mine either! I told him he's welcome to pay for a paternity test. I'm not against it, and I have nothing to hide. My daughter may be bleach blond, but she sure as heck tans like an Italian! Bleach blond fair skinned kids can't usually do that. I can't tan without freckling. She didn't get her awesome tans from me!

I'm sorry you get that from other people (asking your dh if his kids are his). I get that as well. People are always saying, "your girls don't look like thier daddy). My boys look like him though, and they each look like clones of eachother which is so odd to me. Oh, and my other daughter is chubby....like his side of the family. My side of the family are all tall/thin. I'm the shortest at 5'8.5" LOL!
Thx girlie. And I forgot the most important prayer! For your little bean to be sticky!! Btw, have u had an appointment for u/s or heartbeat yet? I can't remember.
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:36 PM   #14
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Re: My husband is getting a vasectomy in 2 weeks :/

I'm glad to see I'm not being unreasonable for wanting him to wait. I wish he saw it that way as well.

Thank you all for being supportive, and I didn't realize other mamas were also going through the same thing! Just something more we each have in common, right?
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:38 PM   #15
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Re: My husband is getting a vasectomy in 2 weeks :/

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Thx girlie. And I forgot the most important prayer! For your little bean to be sticky!! Btw, have u had an appointment for u/s or heartbeat yet? I can't remember.
Thanks mama! Yes, I got to hear heartbeat last week. I have a history of miscarriages and pre-term births. Each of my babies have come earlier than the last, so I'm going to a high risk OB for my next visit with special u/s. It's Feb 1st (a few days before his surgery), so I'm really glad that I'll have this u/s before his surgery.
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:15 PM   #16
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I honestly think my husband is being very selfish right now chosing that time to get a vasectomy. I can't even go with him because I'll be in school that day, and to be honest, I don't even want to go with him for support!
I think he's being selfish too, mama. I'm sorry. I don't see the harm in waiting for a few months, it's not like he can you you pregnant again at the moment, lol.
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:42 PM   #17
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I hope I don't sound like I'm taking side, because I'm not, but maybe he is hurting from your last mc (condolences, momma ) and doesn't know an appropriate way to respond to the new pregnancy. If he is hurting than your concern about this pregnancy may have caused him more stress leading to even more irrational thinking.
I'm so sorry for your pain and stress. I hope everything works out!
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Old 01-24-2013, 12:07 AM   #18
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I have no advice. But I hope he will at least discuss it with you more before he goes through with it.

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Old 01-24-2013, 09:52 AM   #19
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Re: My husband is getting a vasectomy in 2 weeks :/

That is rough. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I hope you two can come to an understanding after more discussion. I've been talking to my DH about maybe a vasectomy after this baby is born. This 1st trimester has been really rough on me, and I DON'T want to go through it again. I used to think maybe I wanted 4 kids, but not anymore. Well, I still maybe want 4, but we will adopt the last one if we decide on another.

I can't believe that your inlaws would accuse you of cheating...do they not understand how genetics works?

My ODD looks just like my DH. She has blond hair, blue eyes...seriously, she looks NOTHING like me. my YDD on the other hand is the spitting image of me. Brown hair, dark eyes. They don't even look like they are related. It is what it is.
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Old 01-24-2013, 01:18 PM   #20
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Re: My husband is getting a vasectomy in 2 weeks :/

If he is set on getting his vasectomy in February, I would send out ultrasound pictures to his family before he gets it done. That's just me though.
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