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Old 08-14-2007, 03:37 PM   #1
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Hopper Graphics
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 9,640
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Why is this so difficult?

We are still waiting for 3 tests results to determine 100% if we will be homebirthing or not, so I don't want to jinx myself. The midwives said to go ahead and order the birth kit/tub (which we did over the weekend), so I feel pretty confident about it. I'm just not saying we are homebirthing yet, kwim? I just want to KNOW for a FACT before I go telling people.


I made the mistake of telling my mom about the hospital's phone call (can't have baby here) the day it happened, and so she's been calling me daily for "updates." Since I'm not telling anyone yet about the HB, I've just been telling her I'm still looking, but that I think I've found someone in Little Rock (truth, just vague).

So, she said yesterday that it just doesn't make any sense to transfer this late in the game. You don't want to deliver somewhere where no one knows you, you don't know the person delivering the baby, etc. And the only reason the hospital has these standards is for safety, and "You don't want it hanging over your head if something happens to this baby and you could have avoided it." I seriously can't take it. I can't not answer the phone, because she IS my mom and she lives less than 10 minutes away. However, if I'm getting this crap from just saying I'm going to switch hospitals/OBs at 37 weeks...I'm seriously worried about the lecture/worry she's going to put over me when I tell her (hopefully tomorrow) about the possibility of a homebirth.

Again, it's not something I can keep from her and just tell her once the baby is here. My husband told his parents already (didn't talk to me first), and they're Ok with it...not thrilled, but they're not giving us hell about it. My parents would be really hurt if we told his parents and not them, kwim?

The absolute last thing I need right now is my mom telling my that the baby is going to die and it's going to be on my hands, which I know is the route she's going to take. One part of me just wants to call her this second and tell her on the phone and get it over with, and the other part wants to tell her in person. I really don't want to see the look on her face...do you think it would be bad to tell her something like this over the phone?

I'm just at a loss for words. Keeping it from my parents isn't an option. I've got to tell them...I just don't know what I can say so that I won't hear negative bull for the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy.

Any tips?
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