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Old 08-27-2012, 04:53 PM   #111
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I've realized its a self confidence thing. They apparently have mistaken my humility for ignorance when I am asking how they would like me to do things. If baby gets a rash its not my fault, babies get rashes. Its not due to my ineptitude its just a fact of life. I'm busting my butt not for my own benefit but for theirs and their child. I've been very accomodating. So whatever! Jen has been such a great mentor for me I would really be a mess without her! I really feel bad for people who get into this and dont know any other foster parents.

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Old 08-27-2012, 05:34 PM   #112
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Oh man I can't stand when they critique your parenting. It's a new adjustment for me. I'm learning to brush it off. But it's like really dude? Really? You're the ones who had your kids taken away and you want to question MY parenting?? Go for it! I hear it through the grape vine, but caseworker has never even wasted her breath bringing it up. lol
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:12 PM   #113
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Re: AUGUST 2012 Chat Thread!!!

We haven't had a placement call in over a month, I think. But we finally got a call last night and we said no again. Ugh. I hate this. It was for a 3yo girl and 1 yo boy. She's just a little older then we would like as our youngest just turned 3 and we feel like it would be best for the protection of our own kids. At least that is what they told us in trainings but when they call us it feels like a different story-they're not upset but wondering why we couldn't take them since one was young. We don't necessarily want young children just because we like that age, but only because of our own children being able to protect themselves if need be. At the same time, I'm wondering if I'm just being too paranoid. Hope they found them a good home last night. I want a call that I can say yes to confidently. We actually have said yes twice already but they both ended up going to a different agency. This is teaching me to be patient for sure. I have such a planner personality and the waiting makes it hard for me to plan what my days are going to look like in the near future especially with homeschooling and activities that have put my other kids in. Silly, I know.
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Old 08-28-2012, 01:34 PM   #114
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Re: AUGUST 2012 Chat Thread!!!

I know what you mean about planning. My "plan" was to take a break after our previous dfd left in June and focus on our new curriculum for the fall. After my baby turned more tod around the holidays, I thought that would be a good time to reevaluate what ages we wanted (probably baby) Only respite in the mean time.

Yah my plan worked out real well. I got roped into taking dfd 5 on July 12th (while I still had a toddler for respite). Sooooo NOT part of my PLAN, but certainly God's. It's worked out beautifully. She is in Kindergarten all day, so I'm still able to focus on homeschooling. My baby is turning tod before my eyes so I'm beginning to think I might even STILL be open to a placement of a baby if the need is great. God knew better then I did and we are so hopelessly in love with dfd 5. Pray for God's will!
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:05 PM   #115
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I know what you mean about planning. My "plan" was to take a break after our previous dfd left in June and focus on our new curriculum for the fall. After my baby turned more tod around the holidays, I thought that would be a good time to reevaluate what ages we wanted (probably baby) Only respite in the mean time.

Yah my plan worked out real well. I got roped into taking dfd 5 on July 12th (while I still had a toddler for respite). Sooooo NOT part of my PLAN, but certainly God's. It's worked out beautifully. She is in Kindergarten all day, so I'm still able to focus on homeschooling. My baby is turning tod before my eyes so I'm beginning to think I might even STILL be open to a placement of a baby if the need is great. God knew better then I did and we are so hopelessly in love with dfd 5. Pray for God's will!
I'm glad things are working well with your dfd. God does know better then us, that's for sure. We did pray about it before saying no, and just weren't sure. So, you took in a child older then your youngest and things have worked fine. That is what is so hard because I hear stories of it not being an issue and then I hear of times that it is. Part of me thinks it would be great for my little girl to have a dfd that is the same age as her. Almost like twins. Another thing that seems difficult in knowing if a placement is for us, is that in our county 80% of foster children are up for adoption. We would want to adopt so in our eyes its not necessarily having to care for a child with agressive tendencies or whatever for a year or so but for a lifetime. They told us that the older the child, the more likely the transition would be difficult. I need to hear good stories and not all the bad ones. I feel like our agency scared us more then anything. I know the director and mentioned it to her and I heard from somebody else that she is going to change some of the things they do and say in orientation to help new foster parents hear the positive stories as well as the negative from the feedback I gave her.
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:37 PM   #116
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Re: AUGUST 2012 Chat Thread!!!

I think it's a gamble honestly. I've had and seen some kids that would have been beyond my capabilities. We got lucky with dfd. She has a tender heart and a love for everyone, regardless of what she's been through. It could have easily gone the other way. I gotta run for now, but I have to say I did not necessarily have a peace about saying yes to any of the kids I took. Really. It's just too much of a snap decision. I think God gives you the grace to handle what comes your way. I did have to ask that they find a more permanent home for a placement once. I dunno. You make the best decision you can with the information you have. But I can say that what I thought would not work, did.
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:49 PM   #117
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Re: AUGUST 2012 Chat Thread!!!

Oh and I have to add, there is something to be said about first time jitters. You are so excited you just want to say YES but then you start to over think it. This went on for months, maybe a year for me. Finally I decided I needed to just jump in. With that said, I accepted a placement that I knew looked like it was headed to return home and it did three months later. But she was 8, totally out of our age range, and it worked out. Praying for your perfect placement........
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Old 08-29-2012, 12:49 PM   #118
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What happens with the foster kiddos on holidays? Just curious.
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Old 08-29-2012, 02:11 PM   #119
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Re: AUGUST 2012 Chat Thread!!!

The staph appears to be coming back, we may be back in the hospital tomorrow. They are giving him another 24 hours on a new antibiotic to see if that makes a difference. If not, then they want him back on an IV with more monitoring.
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Old 08-29-2012, 02:22 PM   #120
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Oh no! I really hope the new new antibiotics help you guys need a break!
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