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Old 09-28-2012, 09:37 AM   #1
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Anyone you AREN'T looking forward to sharing the good news with?

For me, it's my mom. You'd think at 34 years old I wouldn't give a hoot what she thinks, but I know I'm going to hear judgement about 4 being too many kids, and me being too old to be a mom.

Yes, ridiculous.

I'm her only child and she had me very young (and then was in an unhappy marriage until I turned 18) so sometimes I think this plays into her opinion. We have plenty of money and time to support our wonderful kiddos, so the number of kids has nothing to do with our ability to care for them. Honestly, she's also just a judgemental person whose bitter at how her life turned out...

Still, I'm seriously thinking about never actually telling her and seeing when she's able to figure it out


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Old 09-28-2012, 09:59 AM   #2
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Re: Anyone you AREN'T looking forward to sharing the good news with?

LMBO- sorry but I would do the same thing if I was in a different situation. My father is SUPER judgemental about the amount of children HE THINKS I should have. I am positive that if this wasn't a rainbow baby he would've sat there, shrugged and said, "well its not the baby's fault".

AFM- I am DREADING telling my best friend! Her and her husband cannot conceive. To top it all off they had their LAST FET in august and it was their 4th and last egg. PLUS she is super mad at everyone else in the world that can get pregnant .
CJ wife to Dave, Mama to TT dd(4), Dawsy ds(3), & Jubilee born into heaven! OUR RAINBOW ARRIVED April 14th 2013!
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Old 09-28-2012, 10:39 AM   #3
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Re: Anyone you AREN'T looking forward to sharing the good news with?

I'm hoping one of my co-workers never finds out (if only that were possible). She had a lot of fertility issues and despite a lot of trying was only ever able to have one child. She's still super baby crazy (she's too old to have more of her own now) and wants to get super involved in every one's pregnancies and babies. That's just not my style. With the exception of message boards I'm pretty private except with a small group of close friends and family.

Not to mention our parenting philosophies are very at odds.
Wife to E 10-29-05.
Mom to tougHGirl L 5-4-10
tougHGuy B 5-1-13

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Old 09-28-2012, 11:20 AM   #4
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Re: Anyone you AREN'T looking forward to sharing the good news with?

I am actually not looking forward to telling my brother or SIL, she's just kind of nuts. They just had a baby and think we should plan our children around them. My SIL is all like, "wouldn't it be great if you guys had a baby next year and then we could have another the year after?!?!" (We were already pregnant at the time). Please don't try and plan my life for me or think you had any effect on when we decided to have another baby. We TTC for 4 months, and she would make these comments the whole time about when we were going to have another baby. We didn't share that we were TTC because that would have thrown her in a tizzy. She asked DH point blank a few weeks ago if were were (again, we were already pregnant), he just said basically we were NTNP (lie), and she just made a dumb/crude comment about our sex life and how we needed to have another baby.
-Melissa, Mama to Warren 4/10
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Old 09-28-2012, 11:45 AM   #5
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Re: Anyone you AREN'T looking forward to sharing the good news with?

My dad...he's REALLY judgmental about the # of kids we have. We're not well off at ALL. We make it on the day to day stuff but we've had to ask them for help when massive unexpected expenses come up (like the $1,200 I just dumped into my freaking mini-van). Plus my husband is 'sick' (type 1 diabetic, just had a kidney transplant 3 years ago, etc) he's always on the "You can't MAKE IT with so many kids." and he's also on the 2-and-done side of things. I maintain that my kids would prefer siblingS (plural) over a Lego Death Star.

Oh, and the fact that we're a family of 5, soon to be 6, in a 2 bedroom house. BUT this won't be forever, in Feb/March 2014 we'll have all the money we need to buy a doublewide or a repo house, that's the plan.
Renae. Helpmeet to my hottie hubby, Josh. Devoted Mama to my Wolf scout-bookworm-sports-a-holic James (7), my Daisy Scout Princess Aldria (5) and my 2 year old Tornado Emmett and [COLOR="Magenta"] and my tiny squish Cora Paige! (May 2013)
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Old 09-28-2012, 11:57 AM   #6
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Re: Anyone you AREN'T looking forward to sharing the good news with?

I was not looking forward to telling hubby's aunt. She's like a mom to him, brought him home from the hospital and everything.

Anyway, when we told her about our second, it was, "Does she not know what birth control is?"

With the third, it was only 3 months after the second was born when I found out... so she didn't say much.

With the fourth (the loss in April), her response was "How are you going to feed this one?"

So, you can see why I didn't want to tell her this time around. Of course, we're not rich... we're not made of money... I can understand why some people think we shouldn't have more kids. We work HARD, both of us... and we definitely have what we need. No, we don't have thousands of dollars laying around... but we don't want that. We want a humble, gracious life. And how many kids we choose to have is up to US. I am tired of feeling ashamed for my decisions.

So, hubby told her two days ago. She basically skipped right over it. He said, "So, Ashley's pregnant!" And she basically said, "Do you guys still have company at your house?" So he just went with it. He told her, he got the response he expected, and now we can move on. I made the official "Facebook announcement" yesterday, since she was the last "important" person that we needed to tell, that we DIDN'T want to find out on Facebook.

I think from now on, IF for some reason we decide that this is NOT our last... we won't be telling her until we ABSOLUTELY have to, lol.
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Old 09-28-2012, 12:00 PM   #7
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Any of my family! My dad and sisters have told me I shouldn't have any more kids even though I just have one. We live with my in-laws and my family is all pretty well off and they feel we live in poverty (not that we do) and find it unacceptable. I can't find a full time teaching job and my dh works retail and so do I part time.
~Angela~ mommy to Audrey 12/8/06 wife to Adam 7/22/2005

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Old 09-28-2012, 12:05 PM   #8
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A friend. We have a mutual friend and mutual friend and I are both on pregnancy #2 at the moment and she is still "trying".

In one hand I feel bad for her because I know how hard fertility issues can be but while that may be part of the problem shear dumbness is the biggest issue. We have tried oh how we have tried but she just won't "try" for a never ending list if excuses. Yet calls crying all the time when she isn't pregnant. She had no idea how long her cycle was. Thinks she may be pregnant despite getting her period cuse that CAN happen don't you know. Didn't want to take her temperature because having to do it at the same time each day was too much work then when she did decide to just do it whenever she woke up even though we told her as little movement as possible she just decided it would be to warm under the covers so she should get out if bed to take it.

Sorry venting. Just hard to know how hurt she will be that I'm pregnant and she is not yet but just won't do anything to actually help herself get pregnant.
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Old 09-28-2012, 01:06 PM   #9
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Re: Anyone you AREN'T looking forward to sharing the good news with?

Not looking forward to telling my MIL. One of her responses to I'm pregnant was "oh, I was hoping you guys weren't gonna have any more kids." That pregnancy ended in a loss. Then we had another loss in May and she just wasn't supportive. If I could, I'd wait until after baby was born to say anything to her.
-Kate SAHM to John 12/31/07, Grace 10/15/09, Jack ^i^ 5/18/12 , and Jane 5/14/13
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Old 09-28-2012, 03:32 PM   #10
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I just don't get why everyone seems to have such a great idea of how big other people's families should be. I can still remember telling a cousin we were expecting # 3 back in 2005. She said, "Don't you think that's about enough?" It really hurt my feelings. My husband has always been a good provider, we are kind and loving people who are committed to each other, and we want God to be the one to decide how many children we should have. Sometimes it seems like people are bitter and jealous, and they want you to follow in their footsteps. I'm so thankful that the rest of our families are supportive and happy for us!
Sonja, Helpmeet to John, Mama to Joel(13), Kathry(11) Alaina(8), Ben (5), Joshua (2) and Elizabeth (1)
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