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Old 07-18-2018, 07:39 PM   #1
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Stealing food & becoming obese

Ds is 10, and for the past few years, his food stealing has increased quite a bit. He's always been a pretty big dude, but just this last year he's put on almost 40lbs and is now in a 2x adult clothing.

Over 2 years ago, we quit buying any chips/ice cream/sodas/junk foods unless it was a special occasion, because I was under the care of a nutritionist and couldn't eat them anyway. Ds would still eat 3 meals a day, plus the snacks I gave him, then go and sneak a whole lb of cheese or 4 apples or basically whatever he could grab, and lie about it. It keeps getting worse. Today I discovered that he ate all but 2 of my $40 prenatal gummy vitamins.

I've spoken to his Dr about it, who has tried speaking with him privately and with me about his health and his choices and tried to figure out why he does it, and he just says "I can't help it." She said that she doesn't recommend any of the mental health centers nearby (or not nearby, since one was over an hour away) because every time she sends a kid to them, they come back over-drugged for conditions they don't exhibit signs for. (and honestly she's right, I worked with the mentally handicapped several years, and we had people who attended the various facilities. They were so over drugged that at one point we almost got shut down because the state thought we were pushing the psychologists to prescribe more)

Ds's dad (we aren't together) says I need to lock everything up. It seems really cruel to do that, if not illegal. I try to keep the kid active, but due to his weight gain, he no longer fits in his uniform for his dance classes (and he was already in the biggest size available) and they are considering kicking him out because he's not able to perform properly anymore. It's his favorite activity and that doesn't even seem to make a dent in his behavior.

He gets so angry when he gets caught, and since this month he's been told that the food we have is all we have because we're stretched so thin, now he's yelling about how terrible we are because all of our food is awful. Well no kidding, you ate everything good for the month within 2 weeks! We went and picked blueberries together last week, and picked a little over 10lbs of them. I had a couple of cups of them, dh didn't have any, and they're gone because of ds sneaking them either at night, before we get up in the morning or when I'm working outside in the yard.

This all has increased on par with lying about his activities (ie playing video games instead of doing his homework, lying about mowing the lawn, about having his homework done, etc). Could this be an age thing? I considered food insecurity too, but this is the first time he's experienced a shortage of food in his life that I know of.

I'm at my wit's end here. His health is suffering and I don't trust anything he says anymore. I've resorted to refusing to buy a food that he likes every time I discover something he's lied about. I haven't bought pasta in over a year, we don't eat frozen dinners, we make our own pizzas, don't buy any cookies or cakes or anything! I just don't understand.
Mamma to DS('07) and a happy steward of the Earth
Due 7/2018

Last edited by nothingtosee; 07-18-2018 at 07:43 PM.
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