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Old 07-05-2017, 07:14 AM   #1
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Child spacing opinions/experiences?

We have a 8.5 month old and would like 2-3 more children eventually. Those with multiples, what have been your experience with child spacing? Would you have done it differently? I would like to space them at least 3 years to let my body fully recover from pregnancy and breastfeeding. I've heard that either 1 year apart or 4 years apart is best, that 2-3 years apart is hardest on the older child because it's harder to explain to them that new baby needs more attention sometimes. Has this been anyones experience? Also, I am not getting any younger and don't want to get too far into my 30s that there may be complications. We planned this baby and I'm pretty confident in being able to plan the next one. At this point I am thinking of TTC starting when my son is 3.5 years old. Thoughts? Experiences? Thanks

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Old 07-05-2017, 08:19 AM   #2
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

IMO whatever spacing you like is the perfect spacing for you. Our biggest gap is 4 years which is longer than I prefer, it was harder getting back into 'baby' mode for me. Our closest (biological) gap is 19 months and that one is probably my favorite. I know people with children years apart and people with children super close together who LOVE the spacing of their children....whatever you happen to pick is bound to work out so I wouldn't worry too much about getting it 'right'.
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Old 07-05-2017, 08:38 AM   #3
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

I agree. Don't stress about the perfect spacing. You will know when you're ready again and that may end up being sooner or later then you thought you'd be ready.

My brother and SIL have 4 kids all about 2 years apart give or take a couple months. I am really close with them and in my mind I couldn't imagine having my own kids any other way although that doesn't mean my body and mind will feel ready when that time comes around. I currently am 41.5 weeks pregnant with #2 and they will be 17.5 months apart. I am excited and we know we want more kids if we are blessed with more after this one (if he ever makes an appearance!) But part of me doesn't think my body will be ready to try again as soon as I was after my first.

Anywho, I don't know if any of that rambling was helpful.
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Old 07-05-2017, 09:19 AM   #4
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

All my (5 going on 6) kids have been 2-3 years apart, and it has been fine. My 2nd had the hardest time with the new baby, and I felt bad about that, but they're actually really close now, and I think it worked out for the best. If it had been up to me, I probably would have had them closer together, but I feel like the timing has worked out just right anyway, that I would probably be slightly nuts if I had them closer. I agree with kmrotski, rather than trying to plan it out way in advance I would just leave it open for now and trust that you will know when the time is right.
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Old 07-05-2017, 09:41 AM   #5
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jen_batten View Post
IMO whatever spacing you like is the perfect spacing for you. Our biggest gap is 4 years which is longer than I prefer, it was harder getting back into 'baby' mode for me. Our closest (biological) gap is 19 months and that one is probably my favorite. I know people with children years apart and people with children super close together who LOVE the spacing of their children....whatever you happen to pick is bound to work out so I wouldn't worry too much about getting it 'right'.


Very true, you can't change it once it happens anyway! Lol. And you wouldn't want to.(: I have a 2 year 10 month gap between my oldest and middle and a 16 month difference between middle and youngest. For my next I would like to space them about 3 years. Both gaps worked out perfectly fine.(: But the 2yr10mo gap was a little easier in the aspect of my daughter understood what was going on, with my middle son he was more of like what's going on I'm not the baby anymore? But they're all doing great!(:


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Old 07-05-2017, 10:15 AM   #6
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

As the others have said, there isn't a perfect gap. I prefer closer rather than further apart. My older two are just under 2.5 years apart, and are much closer to each other than they are with the youngest, who is 4 years younger than the middle. Growing up, I was always closer to my sister, who is not much older than me, than my brother, who is several years younger than I am.
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Old 07-05-2017, 09:57 PM   #7
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

My gaps are 21 months, then 25 months, then 2 years 8 months. 21 months is my favorite, and they are so close now. But, I don't think I could do that close again other than between 1 and 2. Having three kids under four was pretty hard. But, I'm not loving almost three years for the last two either because we were out of diapers, etc. and it was hard to go back. For what it's worth, my sister and I are four years apart and I intentionally had mine closer because we were too far apart growing up to be friends. We weren't close until she was almost 20. Everyone has a different story though... some will tell you the exact opposite .
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Old 07-06-2017, 08:32 AM   #8
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

I have a 15 month gap and then a 2.4 year gap. Then we are probably going to have a 11-12 year gap. LOL we are crazy.

My mom had us girls with a 5 and 6 year gap. My wife's younger brother is 21 years younger than her.

All the gaps work.
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Old 07-06-2017, 10:00 AM   #9
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

Our first 2 were 4 years apart. That worked well. One in school one at home. The gap between our oldest and youngest is 15 years
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Old 07-06-2017, 11:23 AM   #10
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Re: Child spacing opinions/experiences?

Thank you everyone! So much to consider. I have two friends right now pregnant with their second baby that have 1 year olds and it just seems like they're having a hard time being pregnant and keeping up with a 1yr old. I know you make every situation work, but getting more input is always good.
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