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Old 01-08-2012, 04:15 PM   #1
angelarose's Avatar
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Southeast Texas
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How to tell midwife I want UAC?

I feel really disempowered as a consumer, not just in this instance but in other ones. For some reason, even though I am paying for a service, I feel like the service provider is doing me a favor and get anxiety about attempting to negotiate and walking if my needs aren't met. I am hoping someone can offer up some advice on how to approach this situation or at least offer a different perspective on what I should do.

So with my first childbirth I had unassisted prenatal and childbirth. This time I feel that I would like prenatal care from a professional. I went to an OB/GYN I was familiar with and didn't feel totally comfortable with the first check-up because I didn't have the courage to tell him I preferred not to have a vaginal exam and I also got the feeling he would not be on the same page with other issues because he and the nurse both emphatically stated it was time to stop nursing my 2 year old, when that wasn't even a question or topic up for discussion in my opinion. I feel it is a personal choice, not medical.

Anyway, I was also familiar with a local mid-wife who I felt seemed a lot more personal and also in support of most of my choices. I had a first pre-natal with her and everything went well, but I asked her at our initial meeting how she felt about providing ONLY pre-natal and post-natal care and she didn't explicitly say no, but steered the conversation to one about her being there but being very hands off during the labor, like staying in the other room. At first this was a thought that was worth considering but now after thinking about it, I really do feel that without any high risk factors, I would prefer only myself and husband present during labor and delivery.

I guess I feel awkward about having the conversation with her. I don't know what her cost breakdown is for each component of her services but I looked at a paper from her to be submitted to insurance which stated labor and delivery at $2000. The total cost for her services is $4000 oop for us, and I asked her if somehow she didn't attend the labor and delivery would we get a refund and she said no. I want to ask her if we can arrange prenatal and postnatal care and agree that she won't be called for labor and delivery, but feel that she might be offended or strongly disapprove. I already paid a $500 retainer fee and honestly don't want to change midwives.

freebirthing, , , , , babywearing, mama to Manny (01/12/09); due 06/04/2012
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