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Old 04-19-2017, 08:29 AM   #11
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Re: Babysitter during small group

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I wonder if the two women that found this girl are the ones who suggested the pay rate. Why not contact her directly and ask her if she would be willing to take less pay since there are now only 3 children to be watched?

Good point about adding more people. Are there any more young people that you know of that you could ask?

We don't have this person's contact information. And I assume it's her rate since its $1 more than the initial sitter. I don't think they'd intentionally suggest a higher rate for less kids. Haggling with someone I don't even know probably wouldn't come off too well.

And no, we only know a couple non-church people in the area. Like, literally 2 guys my husband befriended. Everyone else lives at least an hour away near where we used to live or further. We only moved to this area almost 3 years ago.


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Old 04-19-2017, 08:35 AM   #12
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Re: Babysitter during small group

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We don't have this person's contact information. And I assume it's her rate since its $1 more than the initial sitter. I don't think they'd intentionally suggest a higher rate for less kids. Haggling with someone I don't even know probably wouldn't come off too well.

And no, we only know a couple non-church people in the area. Like, literally 2 guys my husband befriended. Everyone else lives at least an hour away near where we used to live or further. We only moved to this area almost 3 years ago.


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I didn't mean they would intentionally suggest the rate to the girl. But I can see the woman with no kids throwing out a number to the girl and the sitter accepting it.

I would get it resolved in some manner or else you're going to resent the whole gathering. I would. And since it's your kids that the sitter is watching, you and the other mother can ask for the girl's number and speak directly to her.
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Old 04-19-2017, 09:01 AM   #13
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Babysitter during small group

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I didn't mean they would intentionally suggest the rate to the girl. But I can see the woman with no kids throwing out a number to the girl and the sitter accepting it.

I would get it resolved in some manner or else you're going to resent the whole gathering. I would. And since it's your kids that the sitter is watching, you and the other mother can ask for the girl's number and speak directly to her.

The rate just doesn't make sense either. For 5 kids, we were being charged $15/hr. But for 3 it will be $16/hr with this new person.

I did just text the other mom. Curious how she will reply.

And yeah, this absolutely needs to be resolved. As it is, I didn't want to go yesterday.
It's just kind of hard for me to not come off "too strong" or offend people as my husband puts it. I tend to not sugar coat things and just say what's on my mind & that doesn't sit well with everyone. (Part of why I don't talk much around people I don't know well... it's exhausting). My husband is one that can get along with anyone so he's been helping me not come off as so "abrasive" in the last few years lol. So it's kind of hard for me to deal with things like this in a socially acceptable manner where people get offended easily. Probably why I tend to get along with guys more easily & have few girl-friends.


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Old 04-19-2017, 09:06 AM   #14
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Re: Babysitter during small group

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The rate just doesn't make sense either. For 5 kids, we were being charged $15/hr. But for 3 it will be $16/hr with this new person.

I did just text the other mom. Curious how she will reply.

And yeah, this absolutely needs to be resolved. As it is, I didn't want to go yesterday.
It's just kind of hard for me to not come off "too strong" or offend people as my husband puts it. I tend to not sugar coat things and just say what's on my mind & that doesn't sit well with everyone. (Part of why I don't talk much around people I don't know well... it's exhausting). My husband is one that can get along with anyone so he's been helping me not come off as so "abrasive" in the last few years lol. So it's kind of hard for me to deal with things like this in a socially acceptable manner where people get offended easily.


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I completely understand. That's why I don't get along with groups, either. It's exhausting. And so I will really try hard not to be "too strong" and people get miffed anyway. "Grow a spine" is what I would like to say. People are such wimps. And yes, my DH can get along with anyone as well and it drives me nuts the absolute crap he will sit and listen to from others.

WHEW!!! Time for me to get up and get going before I get mad. LOL
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Old 04-19-2017, 09:17 AM   #15
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Re: Babysitter during small group

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I completely understand. That's why I don't get along with groups, either. It's exhausting. And so I will really try hard not to be "too strong" and people get miffed anyway. "Grow a spine" is what I would like to say. People are such wimps. And yes, my DH can get along with anyone as well and it drives me nuts the absolute crap he will sit and listen to from others.

WHEW!!! Time for me to get up and get going before I get mad. LOL


EXACTLY!!!!
And hah, sorry for getting you worked up too! This is just really bothering me, so I figured I'll get some input from some seemingly normal (to my standards) people.


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Old 04-19-2017, 09:19 AM   #16
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Re: Babysitter during small group

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EXACTLY!!!!
And hah, sorry for getting you worked up too! This is just really bothering me, so I figured I'll get some input from some seemingly normal (to my standards) people.


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Oh. Then I better back out then. Most people don't classify me as "normal."

LOL!
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Old 04-19-2017, 10:02 AM   #17
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Re: Babysitter during small group

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Oh. Then I better back out then. Most people don't classify me as "normal."

LOL!


Keyword is "seemingly" normal *to me*. Bahahaha.




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Old 04-19-2017, 11:10 AM   #18
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Re: Babysitter during small group

The woman does sound quite controlling (and a bit crazy, but I'm in chirpy's group so not sure my opinion would be 'normal'). However, some things are better addressed as they happen.....
Crazy--I am taking the group's babysitter. I will find a new one for the group, and our day will need to be changed to accommodate this.
Me--Since this is something that effects the whole group, we need to discuss it together before any changes are made.
It isn't a direct insult to her or anything, non confrontational, but it does get the point across that she is not in charge and cannot decide whatever she wants on a whim. With responses like this she should get the point pretty quick that you will not be pushed around, and start treating you with more respect. Or she will leave. Either way works, really.

I didn't realize there were five families already, I agree that adding more is probably too much.

I also agree that that's way too much for a babysitter when everyone's parents are right there! But babysitting rates can vary widely. Here you can get all day care for like $12, which is unreasonably cheap.

You can (and should, IMO) talk to other mom about the babysitter situation, but at this point it might be wise to call a group meeting. You can ask everyone's opinions about how the group is going, what they would like to see moving forward, if the new day is a time that works for them, if there are any changes they would like to see made, etc. This way no one is directly blamed for anything, everything is out in the open, and EVERYONE in the group gets a chance to have a say in what happens. Take caution not to let crazy mom run the show if you go this route though.
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Old 04-19-2017, 11:22 AM   #19
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Re: Babysitter during small group

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The woman does sound quite controlling (and a bit crazy, but I'm in chirpy's group so not sure my opinion would be 'normal'). However, some things are better addressed as they happen.....

Crazy--I am taking the group's babysitter. I will find a new one for the group, and our day will need to be changed to accommodate this.

Me--Since this is something that effects the whole group, we need to discuss it together before any changes are made.

It isn't a direct insult to her or anything, non confrontational, but it does get the point across that she is not in charge and cannot decide whatever she wants on a whim. With responses like this she should get the point pretty quick that you will not be pushed around, and start treating you with more respect. Or she will leave. Either way works, really.



I didn't realize there were five families already, I agree that adding more is probably too much.



I also agree that that's way too much for a babysitter when everyone's parents are right there! But babysitting rates can vary widely. Here you can get all day care for like $12, which is unreasonably cheap.



You can (and should, IMO) talk to other mom about the babysitter situation, but at this point it might be wise to call a group meeting. You can ask everyone's opinions about how the group is going, what they would like to see moving forward, if the new day is a time that works for them, if there are any changes they would like to see made, etc. This way no one is directly blamed for anything, everything is out in the open, and EVERYONE in the group gets a chance to have a say in what happens. Take caution not to let crazy mom run the show if you go this route though.


Ooh maybe she will get mad and leave!
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Old 04-19-2017, 11:39 AM   #20
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Re: Babysitter during small group

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Ooh maybe she will get mad and leave!
That's not the goal!! The goal is for everyone to be happy and growing in the group. We can get along even though we are different. *If* she decides she can't, then that's on her and she has the option to go. Sort of like the unyoked marriage. Ideally though they would learn to work together and worship together despite the differences.
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