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Old 01-20-2013, 06:04 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,938
Just not sure!

My DH and I had an interesting convo last night. We have 1 child- DD who is almost 13 months. I am not on BC, he does not use condoms. DD is still BFing. So I guess you could say we are NTNP. It took nearly 6-7 months after my DD was born for sex to actually be comfortable/pain free and even now at times it's painful- I also have chronic back issues that contribute to that.

DH was talking and saying he is 80 percent sure he wants a 2nd baby and that he would rather have them closer in age. He is actually all for starting to try now. I highly doubt we would get a bfp that fast (took 6 wks with dd) as dd is a high needs baby (getting better with age) but we rarely get time to dtd while dd is with us! She isn't a great sleeper yet and we co-sleep. We try after we have put her into bed but she tends to sense we are not there and wakes up! So dtd is reserved for date nights and perhaps quickies before we pick her up from my moms the 1 day a week she watches her while I work.

I get where he is coming from and some of me would love to have them closer in age while another part of me says wait. I can't imagine being able to give dd all she needs with a 2nd baby, just because of how high needs she is. Some of me feels like I'd be depriving her by having a 2nd baby too soon. And waiting till she's at least 2-2.5 years to start trying makes more sense. But I don't know! I see both sides, dh sees both sides. DH did say he felt if we waited 4-5 years he may not feel so strongly about having a 2nd baby. (That is age gap between his sisters 4 and 8 yrs and they weren't great together when younger) i have similar age gap with my sister and brother but also had very close cousins we were around at all times that were closer in age gaps.

I got my first ppaf when dd was 10 months, had 2nd 5 weeks later and have yet to have 3rd. Did take a preg test about 10 days ago- was negative. I have not been tracking ovulation nor when we dtd. I don't feel pregnant currently, but it's possible. I think my period is just wonky still.

So any btdt words of advice/thoughts mamas? Also I stay at home with dd 5 days a week, she goes to my mom 1 day and is either with dh the 2nd day or my grandma if dh is working OT. So no daycare and almost always with me. Same would be said for 2nd baby. I am a licensed vet tech and like to work 2 days a week to keep my license valid and also give me a little break out of house.



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Old 01-20-2013, 06:16 PM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: usa
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Re: Just not sure!

My sil had hers close to have playmTes so 8 kids..... my oldest is 8 & second is 21 months. They p0lay well together most times & have their own way to play. I have help with having older but have seen potty train in action go well with close in age kids. My bro & I were 15 months apart & we were really close.....
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