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Old 08-31-2011, 02:18 PM   #1
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Guess i'll be the first...

...to whine.

I'm not doing so hot with being a single mom today. I work at Wal-Mart and while we were doing price changes I thought I was going to cry. Eggs went up $0.50, milk went up $0.20 and while it's not much...my budget is already stretched as far as I think I can get it. I use coupons, shop sales...etc. I just kept thinking about everything going up, except my paycheck.

My daughter is 3 1/2. I've been single since she was 11 months old. All I want to do is go home and have someone rub my back and cuddle me and tell me "it'll be okay, we got this" instead I get to go home and figure out how I'm going to afford groceries next week. I get paid tomorrow and after I pay all my bills, I'm still short $6. I have food, but it's not like anything that matches, so meals lately have been interesting.

It's just not at all how I thought my life would be and I'm throwing myself a pity party. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that my periods due today and it makes me a little emotional. Usually I handle things well, but I'm so tired of always handling it and having no one to fall back on. Being a single parent can be extremely lonely at times and it sucks.

My ex is....my ex. He's not emotionally or financially supportive. I'm footing the entire bill for my daughters pre-school. His idea of "helping" was to have his girlfriend buy her a pack of undershirts. While I'm thankful he bought her those, he acts like that makes him dad of the year...while I got everything else for her.

I'm sorry for anyone who read all of my whining. I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow...tonight I just want to go home and cuddle up with another adult who gets it...you know?

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Old 08-31-2011, 03:29 PM   #2
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Re: Guess i'll be the first...

I do know! I just split from my ex three months ago (divorce has been final a month) and it does definitly suck to have to take on everything. I mean, he was never really supportive in any way shape or form, but he did give good footrubs :-) I normally coupon, but have been out of it with the stress of the divorce. I'm hoping to start back up next week actually.

It is lonely. I don't really have any advice for that part, but I do understand.
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Old 08-31-2011, 08:55 PM   #3
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I'm already feeling a little better. Got my kid, cooked dinner and we cuddled some. Had our arts & crafts...I think I would do better if her dad was mire supportive...we went to Headstart orientation last night and he refused to sign any of the papers as he's not "legally responsible" for our DD because I have sole custody of her (he didn't fight me on it...his GF at the time wanted him to have nothing to do with me and so he had nothing to do with our daughter). He has her one overnight a week, court ordered, and won't give her a bath when he has her unless I specifically tell him to. She came home today, filthy, wearing the same clothes as yesterday. It's not going to kill her, but she deserves to be clean you know? He does the absolute bare minimum with her (he's worse with his other kids) and I'm just frustrated.

I'm tired..that helps nothing...as I'm sure you know. I just needed to have my pity party. Thanks for reading
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Old 08-31-2011, 09:28 PM   #4
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Re: Guess i'll be the first...

I know that feeling! Hugs to you mama!
I have those days too, and like you I get no help from my EX. Sometimes I wish there was someone to cuddle and all with but then I think about all the drama I left behind when I left my EX and I'd rather be single.
Hope you have a better day tomorrow!
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Old 09-01-2011, 03:21 PM   #5
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I totally get it. I graduated with my BSW in May and had a temp 8 week job that ended at the end of July. I just found a job after a month of stressing out about where the next months bill money was going to come from. During my temp job I felt like everything was a mess because I wasn't able to figure out how to balance work, DD and manage the house. It seems like it shouldn't be that hard but it is. Now I am about to work again and I am wondering if it will go any better this time. I am not even sure this job will cover my bills but it is better than nothing.

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Old 09-02-2011, 08:57 AM   #6
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I totally understand. Ex has been Mia for over a year now but when he was around he bought DS shoes. 2 pairs in 3 years. And acted like it made him father of the year. I sent him the link to whatever shoes, told him the size, and he bought them.

I'm sorry things are so rough I thought that Head Start preschool was free, is there any way to get a scholarship or anything to help with costs?
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Old 09-02-2011, 09:25 AM   #7
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Headstart is free, I pay for her to go a couple of times a week to "school" so she has some kids to play with. I don't have a car and where I lived Headstart won't provide transportation. I'd have to drive her to the local center and pick her up (without a car that's pretty much impossible...and it's about a 30-45 minute drive each way). So once a week they come in the home for 90 minutes and teach her. Twice a week she goes to the church down the street for school (2 1/2 hours each time) and she'll get to see kids her age.

I'm going down today to talk to the school because they are planning on, eventually, offering wrap-around care. My ex is not doing what he's suppose to do with our DD and I feel like all the time she does spend with him she isn't benefitting from it. If her brother & sisters aren't there, she doesn't want to go. She begs me to come to work with me because she tells me he doesn't pay no attention to her. Yesterday she fell down and cut her knee (she had tights on). When I got out of work she was crying, like red face and tears streaming down her face. I asked him what happened and he said she was being "dramatic" about it. I took her tights off and she had a pretty decent cut that was bleeding down her leg. All I had to do was clean it, put a band-aid on it & give it a mommy kiss. He couldn't be bothered to do that.

I'm going to apply for food stamps today. I really don't care about the backlash from it anymore. I have $6 to feed my kid for a week. My ex is unemployed and has been since August of 2010. He isn't looking for a job and claims he's "disabled" because his back hurts. Seriously. His unemployment runs out in January (he's gotten every extension he can possibly get) and I'm worried about the child support I do receive going away. When I put my daughter on Medicaid (I can't afford Wal-Marts insurance OOP) they told me I would receive close to $300 a month if I applied for foodstamps. I'm not sure if anything will have changed, but we are going to try. If my ex stops paying support & I'm receiving food stamps, we'll be okay. If I don't qualify, then I'll figure something out...

I just had to get it all out the other day. Thanks for listening to me.
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Old 09-02-2011, 09:31 AM   #8
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Also look into WIC
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Old 09-03-2011, 07:23 AM   #9
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Yeah she gets WIC and it's extremely helpful. I qualify for $52 a month in food stamps. The lady looked like she felt bad when she told me that, but that's better than nothing! That certainly helps out, especially with winter coming.
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Old 09-03-2011, 08:41 AM   #10
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Re: Guess i'll be the first...

I'm so sorry Jessica. I get like that sometimes too. Frequently actually. I'm very lucky because I do have an ex who's pretty supportive and both the dads of my 3 pay their child support religiously(well it's garnished but you know, they aren't skipping out on it) and my ex picks up all 3 girls and spends time with them 3 days per week(2 evenings before bed and one overnight per week). I know how lucky I am. But even with that, I get overwhelmed. Money is always strangling me and just preparing for 3 to go to school this year financially is going to set me back another month or two in paying off the huge heating bill from last year. And that sucks 'cause we are gonna need heat again in about a month where we live and I've still got $400 left on the bill from last year. And I want to work desperately and I can't afford it. The daycare bill for 3 kids is more than I would even take in at a job I could get around here. Someting is better than nothing until you are in the red just to bring your kids to daycare. So it is overwhelming. And I wanted a better life for my kids than this. I didn't want them to know the phrase "we don't have money for that." I understand even priviledged kids don't get everything they want but there's other reasons for that, not just that mama can't afford it unless they want to starve for a week. I think it would really really help to have a partner to share that stress with and be able to share the burden. And I do miss it.
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