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Old 09-30-2013, 09:59 AM   #11
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Re: Children Before Marriage

I got pregnant with DS1 when I was 21. I broke up with sperm donor when I was 7 months along. Got sick of his crap and drugs. I married DH when DS was 7. We started TTCing before marriage and had losses during that time. We were married before our 3 sons came along.

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Old 09-30-2013, 06:30 PM   #12
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I didn't marry my oldest's dad. My youngest's dad, who I often refer to as my ex husband, and I never actually got married, either, but we live in a common law state and claimed our status as married for several years. Our split was less complicated than a full blown divorce, but more complicated than just a break up. I am getting married, for the first time for real, in 27 days! This one will last a lifetime; I have made the wrong decision often enough to know that this one is exactly right.
Congrats! Wishing you the best.
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:38 PM   #13
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Thanks everyone. I'm really curious. So many people have insinuated "the odds are against us" kind of things. My boyfriend and I will have only been together 2 years this December and our son was one month old yesterday. Before him I was with someone for 6 years and it was an absolute mess compared to my relationship now. My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful and completely makes me want to be a better person and that's what I love most about him. Our son was a compete "oops" and while we both love him I just hope having a child so soon doesn't tear us apart. But in the end I keep telling myself if myself and him can't get through hard times then we shouldn't be together anyways. I'd like to get married someday. He asked if I wanted to when I found out I was pregnant but I don't want to be married because of our son. I would like to be asked without considering our son in the sense that he should marry me kind of thing. He talks about getting married when our son is one or two years old. And it is just a piece of paper but I'd love to have the same last name as my son and by my SO's wife someday, it'd be an honor.

Thanks for all your stories! Love them.

Also here's my DS yesterday!

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Old 09-30-2013, 06:55 PM   #14
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Re: Children Before Marriage

He is beautiful, Mama! Best Wishes to you and your partner .
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Old 09-30-2013, 07:01 PM   #15
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He is beautiful, Mama! Best Wishes to you and your partner .
Thank you thank you!!!
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Old 09-30-2013, 07:02 PM   #16
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Re: Children Before Marriage

Odds were against dh and I but we have been married for 6 yrs and have 4 kids. He is my soul mate and wouldn't want life without him. We knew we wanted to be married but started trying for children before getting married. We went to court and got married one random Thursday. I highly highly recommend the no frills approach!

And just adding we were together a very very short time before ttc

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Old 09-30-2013, 07:16 PM   #17
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Not sure if you are young or not but I have a few friends that all got pregnant in their late teens/early twenties and ended marrying the father years later. Odds are just odds they don't mean anything to an individual.
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Old 09-30-2013, 08:09 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by dagmomma
Odds were against dh and I but we have been married for 6 yrs and have 4 kids. He is my soul mate and wouldn't want life without him. We knew we wanted to be married but started trying for children before getting married. We went to court and got married one random Thursday. I highly highly recommend the no frills approach!

And just adding we were together a very very short time before ttc
Thanks for sharing! If we did get married I would love a super, and I mean SUPER small ceremony or party with very few people. Love your story though.
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Old 09-30-2013, 08:14 PM   #19
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Ex and I were married when ds1 was conceived and born, but I left him right after. I was a single mom when I met DH, and then we got pg with ds2. We got engaged when I was about 6m pregnant and married the following summer
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Old 09-30-2013, 08:18 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by umphreysmommy
Not sure if you are young or not but I have a few friends that all got pregnant in their late teens/early twenties and ended marrying the father years later. Odds are just odds they don't mean anything to an individual.
Thanks, that makes me feel better (even though you're right- every one is an individual so "odds" shouldn't really matter). I'm 22 and my SO is 26.
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