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Old 09-13-2007, 03:30 PM   #41
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Re: Leave. Me. Alone!!!

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Oh, I plan on hoarding just a tiny bit. No one is allowed over until my midwife and doula have gone, as I don't want my parents saying ANYTHING to either of them. My mom firmly believes that OB's are god's gift to pregnancy, and a midwife is just a pot smoking lunatic with a stamp on a page saying she's certified to catch a baby.

My midwife and doula will be leaving about 3 hours after the birth, so my parents will be invited in then.

For those of you with large families...does EVERYONE expect to hold the baby when they first arrive? I've got no less than 75 people (all related) who want to be here within 24 hours of the birth... I don't want her passed around like a hot potato. I want to enjoy my babymoon. How do I get around that?
No advice on that one-as I've had hospital births and we just didn't call family until well after the birth Were they mad-heck yes....but I too didn't want a waiting room full of ppl waiting Usually it took several hours to get up there and by then I was ready to go potty by myself

Hugs honey.....tell the extended family that they can start visiting the next day as long as they come prepared to cook or help your hubbie clean up most will stay away when they realize that this will involve work

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Old 09-13-2007, 03:32 PM   #42
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Re: Leave. Me. Alone!!!

How about having a call list & tell them you'll call them to let them know when she comes and they can visit the following day, so you and baby have a chance to relax. Otherwise, its going to be really stressful on you and your baby girl.

I too waited until the next day to call family and let them know I'd had her (I had a hosp birth tho) and even then it was stressful
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Old 09-13-2007, 03:33 PM   #43
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Re: Leave. Me. Alone!!!

I was 10 days late with my girl. I decided to plant a tree the day before I had her. After I had enough felling bad I wasn't in labor and after being ticked at everyone for anoying me, she came out. BUT its only when you decide to not care anymore (wink)

DO NOT CALL anyone right after the birth or you wil get everyone over. I HATE THAT!!! a homebirth is for peace and the family learning each other.

call 3 hours later to say we had it...

enjoy your last days pregnant. and enjoy the first few hours you have alone w the new one, as precious.
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Old 09-13-2007, 03:37 PM   #44
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Re: Leave. Me. Alone!!!

I agree...def. wait a few hrs after you've given birth to call And get them to bring some food In the meantime, try not to let them stress you out (easier said than done) maybe get away from the house for a few hrs and take a nice scenic drive and take lotsa "last days" pg pictures

I certainly wouldn't want people around me right after giving birth...you have so many things going on with your body and your just plain exhausted....you DESERVE a break.
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Old 09-13-2007, 03:42 PM   #45
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Re: Leave. Me. Alone!!!

you need to have time to bond with that little girl before the overbearing family barges in, lol.


now you have me worried for what the heck im going to do when i have this one (hospital birth center) because I need time to get to know her just a bit before everyone starts pawing at her, ya know?
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Old 09-13-2007, 03:45 PM   #46
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Re: Leave. Me. Alone!!!

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you need to have time to bond with that little girl before the overbearing family barges in, lol.


now you have me worried for what the heck im going to do when i have this one (hospital birth center) because I need time to get to know her just a bit before everyone starts pawing at her, ya know?
I say, go ahead and have her then call your family when you get home instead of from the hospital-so that way you have a few days to relax and adjust. I called my fam the day after and while I loved having them there, it was stressful b/c I was bleeding, cramping, half asleep most of the time and doing my best to nurse....eek talk about stress Plus we had visitors as SOON as we got home....they brought food, which was super sweet but I was sooooo not ready for visitors yet.

Grrr and not to mention....my cousin and aunt came to visit less than a wk after I had DD and my cousin (whos around my age) asked why I still looked pg....omg I cried that night so hard Disaster...anyways sorry for hijacking.
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Old 09-13-2007, 03:48 PM   #47
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Re: Leave. Me. Alone!!!

Sounds like a huge ruckus.

Honestly, after having everyone come see me at the hospital-including some of dh's distant relatives that I had NEVER met before-for ds's birth, I vowed that if we ever had kids near relatives again, I wouldn't call for a few days. No, seriously. Its boundary time Momma. It'll hurt, I promise, but it will feel SO GOOD too. Here is exactly what I would do. Uninvite my sister, and tell her and my mom that unless they want to talk about non-baby things, the next time they will be getting a phone call from is AFTER baby is here...and not to call me. PERIOD. PERIOD. And you don't have to tell them when after the baby is here. Just after. Don't be afraid, there is NOTHING they can do to you. It took me a long to realize that there is NOTHING my family can do to me. My kids are the most precious things to me, and my (and dh's) bond to them is the most precious thing on earth. Everyone else's bond comes later. You and dh made this baby, and you and dh take as much time as you need with her! Seriously. You don't have to pass her around to 75 people. SCREW THAT! I did that with ds (and cried after everyone left because it hurt...I barely held him his first few days because so many other people did. The only time I got with him was while he was nursing). I felt obligated. But I shouldn't have. He was MY baby. MINE. Not anyone else's. Most everyone else in my case (and I'm guessing your's too) already had babies. If they wanted to pass them around to 75 people, GOOD FOR THEM. But NOT me. MY baby. Sling her. Don't take her out. Just pull it back for people to see. If they get upset, oh well. Don't stress about it. Just enjoy your baby.

And seriously, if I did have family camping on my front lawn, I WOULD call the cops. You can bet on that.

Be strong Momma. Set your boundaries now, and DON'T back down. Before she gets here is a great time to start!
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Old 09-13-2007, 05:14 PM   #48
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Re: Leave. Me. Alone!!!

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BTW - Next time I am lying to my family and friends about my EDD, so they will not bothering me when I am after my due date. That is the advice I give to all of my friends so they can gestate in peace (GIP).
I think this should be a sticky on the TTC/Pregnancy board!!!!!!!! I tell every first time momma I know that first time babies are 10 days overdue on average (this is what my midwife told me and that's how we told our due date to everyone). Tell everyone the adjusted due date or even later.
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Old 09-13-2007, 05:17 PM   #49
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Re: Leave. Me. Alone!!!

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Sorry mama! I know how you fee. I have been induced with all mine but I understand not wanting to. My only concern would be after about 2 weeks over due the placenta starts to die and it can harm your baby but you still have some time. So wait it out.
The placenta COULD start to get old so your midwife tells you what to pay attention for if you get to that point. I know lots of women who go past 42 weeks and don't have an old placenta so don't worry.
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Old 09-13-2007, 05:19 PM   #50
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Re: Leave. Me. Alone!!!

I would tape and answering machine message that says "We will call you when the baby gets here!"
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