Baby is here.

[newmommy13]

Thats an awesome way to approach it imo. I think you are right it probably would hae been more difficult for her to understand if you didn thave a relationship with her. A picture would be good but not the same.

[Umm_Ibraheem]

Originally Posted by sunnymommy Last year when i was pregnant with ds, dd2 started talking about "When I was in your tummy Mommy.." and I replied with, "Well, honey, you weren't in my tummy, you were in X's tummy. And then she went to the hospital and you came out and Mommy and Daddy came to get you." And she looked at me for a minute and said, "Oh, yeah." (like, yeah, that's how it was - but she'd never heard that before as it hadn't come up). And I just truly think that if she had no idea who X was, had never met her, that that would have been a much more difficult conversation / idea for her to grasp. But, maybe pictures would suffice?? I just don't know. I have always believed it's better for the kids to know who birthmom is and just grow up like that and it's not a big deal...

I really like your honesty. I don't have any experience whatsoever in fostering or adopting but this is how I envision myself doing it. The logistics of HOW it will get done are beyond me for now but the overall idea is there.

I told DH (I'm still buttering him up and bringing this topic up to test the waters) that if we adopted I would keep all the information known about the birth mom, her family etc and if its not possible or not healthy for her to be in touch with the child directly I would keep her updated via pics unless she asked not to. I would be upfront about their adoption story and reassure them that I love them and when they are ready to look for their bio or reconnect I would help out (if they wanted me to) and handover the info I know and he really liked it and AGREED that he would do something like that. Too optimistic and naive? yeah, probably. What do you think?

[Beth.]

.

[sunnymommy]

I never know whether to put updates in this thread or on the chat thread. Anyway, we are still waiting for relinquishment/consent signing. Hoping we are getting close. We Think named bio-Dad signed for his mailed legal notification the beginning of the week and then we wait five days and then BM can sign.

If she does... She's a little irked with me right now. Drama, drama.

[sunnymommy]

She signed today

The social worker will bring the official adoptive placement papers for us to sign tomorrow, and we will be legally adopting rather than babysitting! And we can put her on our insurance. And post a pic

Now we wait six months to set a court date for finalization...

[newmommy13]

can't wait for a pic!!!

[Msheidiann]

Originally Posted by sunnymommy She signed today The social worker will bring the official adoptive placement papers for us to sign tomorrow, and we will be legally adopting rather than babysitting! And we can put her on our insurance. And post a pic Now we wait six months to set a court date for finalization...

Yahoooooo!!!!! So happy for you!

[FindingMercy]

What wonderful news!!!

[iwiamandaiwi]

so happy for you! I am so glad that this child will be able to grown up in a safe and loving home. I feel aweful for her children that are still living with her. Have you decided what you are going to do about visiting with the bm and stuff? My instinct is screaming not to let your children be exposed to a person who lies and does drugs but the fact that your older daughter is used to seeing her bm complicates things. How do you think she would take it if you cut contact from her bm? if she would not take it very well then mabye seeing her a few times a year at a public park, as other people have suggested, would be a good solution. So happy for your adoption and so sorry for the situation. People like that are so toxic.

[NaplesMom]

Congrats!!