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Old 05-19-2017, 12:58 PM   #31
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Re: One sibling in a wedding but not the other sibling

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No, they were still a part of it. Just not as bridesmaids. One was a photographer, one did a reading for us, one managed the guestbook. They were in a ton of family pictures that were taken.
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I was referring to several others posts that were in response to your original OP.

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Old 05-19-2017, 01:02 PM   #32
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Re: One sibling in a wedding but not the other sibling

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I was referring to several others posts that were in response to your original OP.

Ok, sorry. The "you" threw me off.


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Old 05-19-2017, 01:13 PM   #33
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Re: One sibling in a wedding but not the other sibling

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And unless someone volunteers a more concrete reason, I'm just going to tell DD that her cousin already had a flower girl picked out and there wasn't room for another one, but she can help me get DS ready during rehearsal and the wedding day.
I think that sounds perfect.

In my experience, kids take their cues from us...so if you don't make it a big deal, she won't.

I hope everything else works out!

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Old 05-20-2017, 04:15 AM   #34
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Re: One sibling in a wedding but not the other sibling

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Nope, I disagree. Brides don't get to do whatever they want just because it's their wedding. Life will go on after the wedding and the wedding will not be immediately forgotten. Yes, weddings are special, but they're also common. Plenty of people have pulled them off without hurting too many feelings. This bride's little cousin is not going to forget. Brides can get a little carried away and selfish, especially young brides, and if MIL remembers to talk to the bride about your DD, excellent. Even if DD gets a part in the wedding because her grandma made it happen, that's OK. DD doesn't have to know that part. But if the girls are close and want to remain close, DD deserves to have a good reason for not being asked to help. I think it's rude to ask one child and not another. For my wedding, we specifically had no children at all so that we wouldn't have to choose between nieces and nephews.

That said, I would leave it to your MIL or DH to ask the bride about it. These things tend to go better with immediate family. And then, if the answer is no, hopefully you can come up with a satisfactory explanation for DD.


You said this way better than I could. I know the issue is resolved, but just wanted to say, the above was my opinion as well.
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Old 05-20-2017, 06:38 PM   #35
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And unless someone volunteers a more concrete reason, I'm just going to tell DD that her cousin already had a flower girl picked out and there wasn't room for another one, but she can help me get DS ready during rehearsal and the wedding day. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
This is a great answer.
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Old 06-24-2017, 01:43 PM   #36
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Re: One sibling in a wedding but not the other sibling

Finally have an update to post. Family get-together kept getting delayed.

My DH texted our niece a couple of weeks ago asking what the kids would need to wear for the wedding and if DD was going to have a role in the wedding. She said she'd get back to him about clothing but yes, DD was going to have a role.

Today we finally got to see our niece. DH asked her again about the clothing. She said what she was thinking about for the ringbearers but also said what her colors would be. I asked her if I needed to get DD something in particular. She explained that she wanted to make DD a flower girl but that she didn't have a little boy for her to walk with. She already has two flower girls and two ringbearers. She said that she's leaning towards making DD a guest-book or program attendant along with another little girl since she's a little older than the flower girls and more capable of handling a responsibility like that. I told this privately to DD, and while she was briefly a little sad, she didn't dwell on it. I did tell DD that we'd have to find her a dress to match one of the accent colors (per our niece's request; she even said she could wear white or the same color as the bridesmaids but I'm not sure I want her doing that) and she was OK with that. There will be a wedding shower soon that I'm helping to plan and I told her I'd need help with that.

So, that's that. I'm fine with it. I just knew there had to be more to the story and now I'm glad I know so I know how to handle my two.


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Old 06-24-2017, 02:02 PM   #37
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Re: One sibling in a wedding but not the other sibling

I'm so glad it worked out!
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Old 06-24-2017, 02:07 PM   #38
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Re: One sibling in a wedding but not the other sibling

As a side note, I pointed out to DD that the flower girls more than likely would have to walk back up the aisle with a boy, possibly holding their arm. She looked a bit horrified. So I think she's OK with her role!


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