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Old 08-24-2012, 04:00 PM   #31
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Re: I don't think anything is wrong, but...

I don't think there is a "normal" for kids sleep. My older girls both gave up regular naps just before they were 2. They would still each occasionally take a mid afternoon nap after they gave up regular naps but it was sort of hit or miss. I didn't do anything different and I certainly encouraged napping later but it just never happened. For the first year or two after they gave up naps they still had quiet time in their beds but never fell asleep. Once I realized they were just done napping I didn't even push the quiet time. But they also regularly sleep 14 hours a night.

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Old 08-24-2012, 04:23 PM   #32
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Re: I don't think anything is wrong, but...

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Originally Posted by doodah View Post
oh boy....huge pet peeve of mine....I could post numerous articles about sleep deprivation in the US and changes in parents views regarding napping in the last 10 to 20 years. Not napping is a very current trend and not at all the norm in previous generations. Adults as a whole are sleep deprived with poor sleep habits, its not a surprise that they then teach their kids the same things.

I am not saying that every kid, every where needs a nap.....just that what this person commented to you about is the norm. Your kid does what most kids did in generations past (a full nights rest with a mid day nap for younger ones) and people gasp like you are crazy or something. I cant tell you how many kids (even under one!!) whose parents assured me that they dont nap and then they come to my daycare, get on a routine and start napping here and sleeping better at home.

Anyhow, everyone in this house naps till they go to kindergarten. My daughters private school naps kids even up to 1st grade, just like in the old days I love it. She needs the down time. And yes, people gasp when I tell them I have 3 and 4 year olds still taking a 3 hour nap daily at my daycare. Do they sleep every second of it? usually. but sometimes they just sit quietly till nap time is over. Its okay to get a break. Healthy in fact for kids! and adults too for that matter.


I'm not a daycare provider. I only have experience with my own children. But, I've researched children's sleep a lot because of my oldest not being a good sleeper. Actually, my 4 year olds no longer nap and they don't take a quiet time anymore. But, it annoys me, because I think they still need it. It goes against my beliefs on childhood sleep. Though, I feel this way less and less as they are getting closer to 5 (Dec b-days). I know I'm the mom and I could have kept it. The reason we gave it up is because they are twins and started giving me issues with going to sleep (both naps and bedtimes) around 18 months. And, when I say issues, I mean, it was HORRIBLE and often ended with me crying in hall outside their room. I KNEW They needed the sleep, but they just would not behave and let each other sleep. When my 6 year old gave his up, it was harder and harder to have them go up. After struggling with them for 3.5 years, I gave up because it was too stressful. I stopped making them go up for naptime when they were a few months over 4. But, my older son took a nap where he fell asleep most of the time till he was 5 and then had a quiet time when the others napped till he was over 6.

Even though I let my 4 year old out of napping early, I have ever intention of having my younger children continue to nap and/or take a quiet time till at least 5. In fact, we just gave my 2 year old separate rooms to facilitate this and make it easier on me. They were giving me issues like my older twins were. I am NOT letting them get out of their naps early and definitely not at 2.

And, for the record, my kids do all sleep 11/12 hrs at night even while taking 2 hr naps during the day. And, they sleep better and go to sleep easier when they are consistently napping. (which is one reason I work so hard on naps.)

OP - Your kids sound totally normal to me. It's the ones who give them up really early that seem abnormal to me....not judging, but it doesn't seem normal to me. A while back, I was getting advice from another mom of many on getting my children to behave at night for bedtime. Her biggest piece of advice to was to drop naps because she had hers give up naps at 18 months. Honestly, my jaw just about hit the floor. I just smiled and nodded and ignored that piece of advice.
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Old 08-24-2012, 04:24 PM   #33
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Re: I don't think anything is wrong, but...

Each child is different and has different needs.

DS1 napped until he was almost 4yrs old, went to bed at 8pm and got up around 7am at that time.

DS2 and DS3 both stopped taking naps around 2yrs old (much to MY dismay, lol).

Right now my kids are 7yrs old, 4 1/2 yrs old and 2 1/2 yrs old. None of them nap anymore unless they woke up REALLY early and then just crash while playing quietly.. Bedtime is at 8pm, they are typically asleep by 9pm or earlier, and they get up between 6:00am and 8:00am (USUAL time is between 6:30 and 7:30am). Some mornings one or more will get up earlier, and some mornings one or more will sleep later.. and some nights I just KNOW they need an earlier bed time so I will put them to bed early.

I would just let her comment roll off your shoulder. You're letting your children sleep when they need to sleep, and that's (in my opinion) what SHOULD be done at this age. They KNOW when they need to sleep and it would be cruel and doing them an injustice to try to force them OUT of a schedule that is working for YOUR family. Who cares what someone else thinks?!?!



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Old 08-24-2012, 09:57 PM   #34
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Re: I don't think anything is wrong, but...

Ds will be 4 next month and he naps from 3:30-5 and then sleeps 10:30-8 or so
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Old 08-24-2012, 10:57 PM   #35
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Re: I don't think anything is wrong, but...

I think your kids are right on the norm. My DS is 6 almost 7 and stopped napping at 4. However he goes to bed at 7 and sleeps until 6. My DD is 4.5 and stopped napping at 2.5 but goes to bed ar 7 and sleeps until 7:30. They both have quiet time after DS gets home from schooland if they are tired they will still occasionally nap. They both are good solid through thenight sleepers too.
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Old 08-25-2012, 12:06 AM   #36
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My kids do not sleep that well but I do enforce a quiet time in hopes they will sleep. My nephew does sleep like that though. I think personality and or sleep needs are different with every child. I wish mine slept more. They are not grumpy at night or anything so I think they really don't need it.
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Old 08-25-2012, 06:16 AM   #37
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Re: I don't think anything is wrong, but...

I don't think that's wrong. It's great if your kids will still nap at 4! My 4.5 year old started giving up her nap at 3. She would some days still need it, but when she did nap she was terrible to get to bed at night. She just wasn't tired at night. By 4 she had totally dropped her nap and now will never nap unless she is sick. And now she manages easily to get to 8:30pm still being in a good mood. She wakes up around 7:30. I think 11 hours is a good amount of sleep for a 4 year old, they all vary. My 2 year old still needs her nap. But as she inches closer to 3 she is slowly needing it less and less, like if i let her nap more than 1.5 hours now she is harder to get to bed at night and she wakes up too early.

FWIW I still instigate quiet lie-down time even for my 4yo. I do it around 12:30, right after lunch, put on quiet music. She is allowed to read books quietly while sitting in her bed. So she does get some down time. After 20 minutes of being quiet she is allowed to get up and do whatever she wants. Often she will spend longer reading, it's up to her. That time we normally try to do something together if the baby is napping as well, it's the only time i really get to spend with her alone.

Anyway, if your kids are still napping and going to bed at night, good for you! All kids are different, some need more, some less sleep. I think honestly for a 4 yo to still take a 2 hr nap is unusual, so you are lucky!

ETA: Lol, I just reread it to see your kids are waking up at 5:30. No thanks to that bit! But fine if it works for you! If my kids got up that early they would definitely both need a nap. There's just no way they would last until dinner time at 6:30pm.

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Old 08-25-2012, 11:01 AM   #38
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Every kid is different and has different sleep needs. DS1 gave up naps entirely at about 26 months after 6+ months of struggling. He sleeps SO MUCH BETTER without a nap. For those 6 months he was getting up at 6am, it took more than 2 hours to get him down for a 50 minute nap, then he'd be up until 9 or 10. He was only getting 10 hours of sleep on a good day and we were both miserable.
Since then he sleeps 7p-7/8a and he's a much more pleasant child. He will sometimes take a nap in the car if we're driving long distance, and he usually takes an hour or so to rest, but he doesn't require a nap.

I would love it if DS2 would keep napping until kindergarten, but I won't force him if he's clearly done with them at 2 or 3.
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Old 08-25-2012, 11:15 AM   #39
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Re: I don't think anything is wrong, but...

People need to mind their own business. That sounds perfect for their ages. Does she think they shouldn't nap? This chart shows the general recommendation:
http://www.askdrsears.com/content/ho...-my-child-need
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Old 08-25-2012, 11:36 AM   #40
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Re: I don't think anything is wrong, but...

I have a 2.5 year old and a 4 year and both still nap. Sometimes they sleep for 3 hours in the afternoon. They NEED it! My four year old doesn't always sleep long but he needs the downtime and a little rest. I have started giving him the option of quiet alone time. He can play/read/do puzzles etc after about 20 minutes alone he decides to take a nap "because I'm so tired mom." They sleep 10 hours or more at night too. I think they are so much better behaved and happy when they take naps. My boys love their sleep.
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