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Old 01-25-2014, 02:30 PM   #1
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Reality Check?

Ok, I need a reality check. My maternity leave is ending and I have to go back to work on MONDAY. We have known this date for MONTHS. We worked out an arrangement with MIL to watch the baby and other kids until June when I'll be home again (teacher). I paid for her ticket to come stay with us and she arrived last week. We agreed on an amount to pay her each month, she's not doing it for free or anything. Ok, fine.
For months, we have known DHs sister is due 1/27. She had the baby. Yay, this should be happy news! Suddenly, MIL just HAS TO go to see SIL and got on a plane this morning. Her return flight is Thursday early am.

1. I acknowledge that this is completely reasonable for a mom to go to her daughter who just had a baby.
2. However, that means that as of 6 pm Friday, I was notified that I will have NO CHILDCARE for my return to work on Monday, which has been scheduled for months. This is too late to even go sign them up for a week of daycare.
3. DH and MIL do not get why this is a problem. DH and MIL say we'll just get someone from craigslist OR SOMETHING to watch them this coming week, like it's not a big deal that I'm leaving the new baby (and 3 other kids!), or I could just stay home.

I'm super pissed at this lack of planning and not sure how to handle the situation. What would you do?

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Old 01-25-2014, 02:34 PM   #2
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It's a little ridiculous how flippant they are being about the entire thing. Is it a big deal if you stay home one more week? I know my school would be fine but they are über flexible.
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Old 01-25-2014, 03:04 PM   #3
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Wth?! What a crazypants... And I can't believe your dh doesn't see how this is a big deal. Perhaps he should take a week off then.
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Old 01-25-2014, 03:07 PM   #4
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Does your husband have any vacation days he can uses?
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Old 01-25-2014, 03:10 PM   #5
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Re: Reality Check?

Oh man, yeah, I'd be pissed. (Sure, I'll just hire some random person from Craigslist to watch my five kids tomorrow.) Do you have any SAHM friends who might be willing to cover a day or two? Otherwise I guess DH would be missing work for 3 days...

I understand that MIL wants to see new baby, but if she knew she would need to see it within the first week or life and for more than one weekday or so, she should have told you that long ago. It would be nice if MIL could have gone a week later, from maybe Thursday pm to Sunday pm and then DH would only have to take one day off of work.
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Old 01-25-2014, 03:20 PM   #6
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Re: Reality Check?

Really? They see nothing wrong with this? Unbelievable... I think your DH or MIL should be scrambling to find someone to watch the kids. Someone you trust from your church or community or something. But I think it's on them to get someone who is both available and who you'll feel comfortable with.

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Does your husband have any vacation days he can uses?
Ooh, I like this idea!
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Old 01-25-2014, 03:21 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by EmmaGM
Wth?! What a crazypants... And I can't believe your dh doesn't see how this is a big deal. Perhaps he should take a week off then.
And with the word crazypants,, you totally validated my being upset! Thank you.

DH just started a new job this week, so there's no vacation days yet. He's been out of work for awhile so that's not a choice either.

I think I've worked out something for this week for the kids, so now the issue really is how to handle things with MIL. Thoughts?

The way I'm feeling right now, I don't want her to come back from SIL's place. My job is stressful and I don't need to be worrying about *if* she's going to leave me hanging like this again. The whole reason we made this arrangement was to avoid daycare costs for 3 kids for 4.5 months. (Next year will be only 2 and I'm thinking about staying home, pending on dh's new job).

Logistics aside, how would you handle the MIL?
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Old 01-25-2014, 03:26 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by BSWmama
(Sure, I'll just hire some random person from Craigslist to watch my five kids tomorrow.)
Yes! Because if it was that easy, I would have done that in the first place, right?
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Old 01-25-2014, 03:29 PM   #9
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And I'm pissed that I had to pay for her ticket to get here. It was $1100 (International).
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Old 01-25-2014, 03:31 PM   #10
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Re: Reality Check?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carolyn528 View Post
And with the word crazypants,, you totally validated my being upset! Thank you.

DH just started a new job this week, so there's no vacation days yet. He's been out of work for awhile so that's not a choice either.

I think I've worked out something for this week for the kids, so now the issue really is how to handle things with MIL. Thoughts?

The way I'm feeling right now, I don't want her to come back from SIL's place. My job is stressful and I don't need to be worrying about *if* she's going to leave me hanging like this again. The whole reason we made this arrangement was to avoid daycare costs for 3 kids for 4.5 months. (Next year will be only 2 and I'm thinking about staying home, pending on dh's new job).

Logistics aside, how would you handle the MIL?
I wouldn't "handle" mil your dh needs to. And he needs to be told why it's a big deal even though you probably did that already. He would also be the one to find the backup plan that was approved by you.
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