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Old 03-01-2012, 10:10 AM   #41
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Re: My kid is getting kicked out of day care for biting!

My 4 yr old is seriously the sweetest of my 4 kids. Buuttttt... he is also the one who is an impulsive hitter. I have gotten a few calls this year from his Pre-K teacher (who I love) about him smacking, kicking, and even biting his classmates. I got a note home one day saying another child had actually bitten my own little monster, and he had teeth marks and a bruise on his shoulder. I was *relieved*!!! B/c for once mine wasn't the perpetrator.
He is getting much better, but if I had not had a "violent" kid of my own, I would still think the parents of those kids just suck.
At the same time, we are fairly tough on him when he does something like this. Immediately stop playing with his friends and go in the house. When he was your sons age, he would bite or hit a good bit. I would tell him NO firmly and put him in timeout. It was hard at that age with him b/c he was behind in speech and had a lot of frustration from not being able to communicate. I will say the biting stage only lasted a couple of months (he has bitten a few times since then, but it is rare) but we came down harder on him for biting than anything else he did b/c, well, you know how tough it is to take a biter out around other kids!
Good luck. It does get better.

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Old 03-01-2012, 11:31 AM   #42
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Re: My kid is getting kicked out of day care for biting!

When my older son was that age, I could have written your post word for word. He was very close to getting kicked out. But he had been there since he was 3 months old, and the teachers loved him, so they gave him some extra chances. He was a little behind in speech, so I really think he did it because he got frustrated and couldn't say it. Now, he wasn't the only one biting -- there were several times he came home with bite marks too. (And I couldn't really be upset about him getting bitten when he was doing it too!) What finally worked is the day care director sat down with the teachers and told them to watch the biting kids extra close. They did everything they could to not let one of the biters out of eyesight. I'm sure it was rough on them for that time period, but it only took a few days for things to improve dramatically. I think it was kind of a cycle -- one bites, so another bites back, etc. Once they got them to stop, the cycle was broken. Oh, and for a while, they moved my son up to the next age group, and those kids were better able to defend themselves. That helped too.
I do kind of wonder why biting seems to be the "cardinal sin" of day care. When kids hit, call names, use bad words, etc. it doesn't seem to get people nearly as upset as biting does.
And for the poster that said the mom needs to take full responsibility -- what exactly do you want her to do that she isn't doing now? If her child bites at 10am, and she doesn't pick up till 5pm, how do you think she should handle that? If the child is not being watched as closely as necessary, I think that is definitely as much the fault of the provider as it is the parent.
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Old 03-01-2012, 10:04 PM   #43
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Re: My kid is getting kicked out of day care for biting!

Sorry, mama. My kid used to spit at people when he was a little older, like 2. Probably gonna get flamed for this, but I'd give him a little squirt of lemon juice when he did it, and the behavior stopped almost immediately.

At about 2 1/2 to 3 he had a younger playmate that bit -- his parents were mortified, and as I recall the stage only lasted a few months; one memorable time they were playing together, playmate bit, and mother swooped in and took her son home. My son looked at me with this very sad face and said very dramatically "why is friend eating me??? Is he trying to eat me all up?"
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Old 03-01-2012, 10:30 PM   #44
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Re: My kid is getting kicked out of day care for biting!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooke789 View Post
I have a biter...be glad your son doesn't have a twin -- IE a companion who hangs around all day just for him to bite...
Seriously. I was so smug about my older two kids, who never bit or hit each other or anyone else. Then I had my twins, and, holy moley. They are over it now, but there were a few months there when there was a lot of biting (mostly from A to B, but a little in reverse).
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Old 03-02-2012, 02:32 PM   #45
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Re: My kid is getting kicked out of day care for biting!

SOAP! I have a friend who had a LO who would bite. I told her the next time your child bites my child I am gonna have to fight you! She is a dear friend of mine always will be. She carried a bar of soap with her and if her DS bit he would get a mouth full of soap. He bit 4 more times and that was it. If it were my child getting bit I would complain to the daycare. If my child were doing the biting I would take him out. Especially if it were happening on a regular basis.
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Old 03-02-2012, 04:40 PM   #46
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UGH there is no way I would ever stick soap in my child's mouth.

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Old 03-02-2012, 07:35 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by Midwife@heart
UGH there is no way I would ever stick soap in my child's mouth.

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Agreed. Especially a BABY!
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Old 03-02-2012, 08:23 PM   #48
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A child at my sons daycare/preschool was a bitter and he bit my son 3x,( and a few other kids as well) I guess he was just the closest person to him when he got upset, but I gotta say it did tick me off that it was happening . At the beginning of this year this boy was asked to leave the school... I felt for this boy because he was sweet most of the time but there was no need to have my boy come home with bite marks more then once... I'm sure ur LO will figure out that bitting isn't the way to go, maybe tell him because of his bitting he has to change schools, action /reaction kind os thing...
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Old 03-02-2012, 08:26 PM   #49
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Re: My kid is getting kicked out of day care for biting!

An 18 month old won't understand the changing schools thing. Unless he gets a great new caretaker who can understand him, watch him, and teach him other ways to get his frustration out, he might actually bite even more because of the change.
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Old 03-02-2012, 08:35 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Midwife@heart
An 18 month old won't understand the changing schools thing. Unless he gets a great new caretaker who can understand him, watch him, and teach him other ways to get his frustration out, he might actually bite even more because of the change.
True, but I think an almost 2 year old can understand change... Good luck, I hope it gets better for your son
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